Midnight Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 It is coming to three months since my father passed away and its been pretty rough. My doctor gave me sleeping pills and they have been helping. He also prescribed me a low dosage of antidepressants. They have helped too. However I think they are helping me too much. When my dad died I could not think clear, could not remember one good memory of dad, its like my past was blocked out.Now after being on antidepressants for 6 weeks my mind is clearer than its ever been. I am remembering so many good memories of my dad and past. I really like it. However, with the good comes the bad. I am remembering every detail of a brutal abusive relationship I was in at the age of 17 and it ended at the age of 25, only because I tried so many times to leave, and each time I would go back because he would hurt my family and he did.Now, during the day I am having flashbacks of being attacked in my car by the abuser with a axe, waking up in a burning house that he had set, being raped by his friends to pay off his drug debts. WHY OH WHY after 15 years is this part of my life back. Is it because of the recent death of my father, or is it because of the antidepressants making my mind clear. I can remember every living detail as though I am going through it again. I am getting panic attacks like I did when I was in the relationship and when I left it. I remember being hospitalized for the panic attacks as I had passed out.Is this something I should tell my doctor, he has been so good and was happy that I was doing so much better, but now these flashbacks are becoming unbearable. I have a dr. appt. in two months but I am not sure if I can wait that long to see him. I am not even sure how to tell him. My fear is that he will commit me. even though he is not like that. I am just not sure how to handle what I am going through.Is anyone else going through anything like this, or have any words of wisdom.Thanks you all have been so great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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