Death And Loss Are Still With Me

[teny]

I keep reading every post.I dont answer cause IM only now realising that loss is forever and whatever Ido death and loss are with me.Some days when I work long the pain gets easier and then strikes harder.I dont let my feelings out my family thinks Im doing well.looking forward for this month my grand children are coming to staywith me.Even happy moments make the loss grater.I miss him so much trying to find meaning for my life.Still confused .Greek summer sun sea and islads was our dream Lost love lost dreams .Hope my far away friends understand.TENY

[WendyJ]

Teny I understand more than you know and feel exactly the same. I was just telling William that I have been going through another rough spell and my brain knows Steve is not coming back but my heart just won't listen to anything my brain has to say. I think my family also thinks I am doing better than I am as I mostly cry when I am alone and try to hide it when people are around. This is just not fair, Steve died so suddenly, so unexpected that I almost feel like someone who has no closure from a break up. No chance for last good byes or I love you's just gone ! I also have no ADC's from him, no signs he is around me or sending me signs...I also feel so alone Teny...I perfectly understand.

Love,

Wendy

[kayc]

Teny,

Oh yes, we understand! Loss is just something we incorporate into our lives, our old life seems very gone and our new life...well, just not the same. We try and go on and that's all we can do, but no, it's never the same. I look forward to seeing my George again, I think deep down inside all of us look for that day we'll be reunited. I hate to say that everything in between is just superfluous (unnecessary or needless), but it almost seems so in comparison. I try hard not to compare my old and new life, it really isn't necessary, sometimes it just hits you, but I try to accept that this is what it is, just as before it was what it was, and the two don't meet.

I am glad you have your grandchildren to look forward to spending time with. Sometimes I wish I had grandchildren, they seem to be a joy to those who have them, but I have a granddog that, believe it or not, gives me tremendous joy. We learn to find joy where it exists and be grateful for that.

I wish you a better and brighter future, Teny.

Love,

KayC

[KathyG]

Oh, Teny, I know what you mean when you say that you feel your loss even more during happy times. We wish our husbands were still here to share in the happiness with us; thinking that they can't reminds us we are alone now.

But consider - you now feel happy sometimes. That shows improvement; you are stronger now. When I first came to this site last November, your thoughts seemed darker and I think that back then, you felt only sadness. I know you still struggle with the pain - so do I - and our losses will continue to affect us for the rest of our lives. But I think that before we can find the meaning of life again, we have to have regained the ability to feel things other than sorrow. We're both doing that now, so the meaning of our new lives will reveal itself in the future, after reach the point where we can open up to positive emotions like happiness and peace.

[Leah]

Hugs Teny, I am only 7 weeks into this so have no advice, only love & hugs.

[DoubleJo]

Hang in there Teny- as you can see, life is still all around you. It will be different, but it still exists.

We think of you- DoubleJo

P.S. I stayed for awhile on Spetza and Paros a number of years back.