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What More Can Happen To Me

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I am full of rage and anger today and not sure what to do or who to aim it at.

First my dad died in Feb. 2008 at the age of 95 and I still miss him so very much - the thought of him or seeing his picture makes me cry. I am trying to get over his death and the flashbacks of my past abuse and now this.

This past Sunday my husband and I were at our farm out in the country working on repairing some fences for the cows. He was not feeling good so he stopped to rest on the bench. I continued to work then I see him go into our truck and sit down. This is normal for us to do when we get tired. After about 20 minutes I come back to the truck and he is slumped over and not responding to me at all but he is breathing. So I try to push him over into the passenger seat but I cant he is 220 pounds. For some reason on that day my cell phone wont work. I run to the road no one is around, so its just me. I drape him over my shoulder and drag him to the passenger side of the truck and when I get to the door he falls to the ground, so I try to pick him up but I cant. I start screaming help me someone then his eyes open and I am crying and I say please help me get you into the truck but he is so weak he tries to stand and does so enough for me to push him into the truck. Then he closes his eyes and is just not responding to me. I try to get him to talk but all he does is moan so I am driving 80 miles per hour to get to the city which is 20 miles away when we get to the city I drive through every red light after stopping to see if anyone is coming, I get him to the hospital and there is a policeman and ambulance man there I say please help me I have a diabetic who is not responsive so they get him into the hospital and within minutes he is hooked up to intravenous. They have him at a normal blood sugar now and he is expected to come home today. But I am back in panic mode - cant stop the shaking the heart racing the hyperventilating. So I tell this to the psychologist that I am seeing and he says to me after our session go see the doctor so I did. I get to the doctor and he gives me two prescriptions one for ativan and one for seroquel. Well I go to the pharmacy and get the seroquel filled and the pharmacy tells me its for psychoses, and for people who have schizphrenia and are bi-poloar. And for people who are having issues with hallucinations. What the hell!!!!

Why was I put on this drug????? I am not that way at all. I put a call into my counsellor to ask him why he wants me on that drug. I can see the ativan as it helps to calm me down but the seroquel just blows me away.

So that is how I am feeling today. I am so angry, why did this happen, he has had a low blood sugar befor and has taken juice and was fine. So why now! The doctor said he must have overexerted himself and missed the warning signs of a low.

I am so mad at my psychologist for telling my doctor to give me the drug and for the doctor to prescribe it to me.

I am thinking of quitting my counselling and quitting the meds and quitting my doctor. I feel so betrayed to be labelled with psychoses. That is not me at all.

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I am not a dr, so please understand this is just my experience with the drugs. My mother was terminally ill and very, very agitated and struggling with anxiety. They prescribed both medications you mentioned. She did not have any mental health issues .She had trouble with the Ativan, but became very comfortable with Serequel. She said she didnt know she could get thru the day without it. Thought this might help. I am glad your husband is going to be okay and coming home.

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Thanks for responding

I have since talked to my doctor and I was angry and he said I had every right to be angry. He said it was prescribed for my complex post traumatic stress disorder.

So I am feeling better and will continue with the counselling and the meds.

Now that I totally over reacted. :blush:

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Seroquel is not just used for patients with bi-polar and schizophrenia. I imagine you were given a very low dose probably to help calm you when you are sleeping (though Ativan does the same thing) and only for a very short period of time. The pharmacist just has to tell you all aspects of the medication, even if it's not what the doctor prescribed it for.

I'm glad to hear that everything with your husband is working out ok. My thoughts are with you.

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