KathyG Posted July 22, 2008 Report Share Posted July 22, 2008 Yesterday, I did something I felt I had to do to protect myself emotionally - but this morning, I feel selfish and guilty for doing it. What did I do? I didn't answer the phone when my sister called. I just couldn't.A few weeks ago, I posted about trying to deal with my sister who is losing her battle with bipolar disease. Since then, she has become even sicker, she lost her job, and now she wants to give away or spend all her savings (the only money she has to live on) because she thinks if she does, "the government has to support me and pay all my bills."Although her case worker and I are trying to get my sister into an outpatient program at a local clinic, we're still waiting. And all the other things we're trying to do to help are stuck in progress. Nothing's happening. And there's a strong possibility I may have to go to court to petition to become her legal guardian. My sister is calling me three, four or more times daily while I'm at work, just to say the same things over and over again - she's "not sick" and "doesn't need help"! Yesterday (and still today), I've been going through a strong grief attack. I miss my Bill so much, and my sister's situation makes me miss him even more because I know if he were here, he'd put his arms around me and cry with me and give me all the love and support I need. So when my sister started her barrage of phone calls to me yesterday (caller ID told me she was calling), I didn't pick up the phone. I told myself, "You can't handle this right now. You have to think of your own emotional needs first for a change." Not taking the calls did reduce my stress for awhile. And I tried to just relax with a good meal and a movie for the rest of the evening. But now, I feel like I did something wrong.I know my sister needs me, but I'm standing here in the ashes of my old life, hammering away at a half-built new foundation that's still pretty shaky. Is it selfish of me to push her away (or at least, keep a distance from her) at times when I don't feel strong enough to carry both her burdens and mine? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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