Pretty Well Describes Us

[mlg]

When I was coming home from the cemetery today I had in an oldies cd and thought Smokey Robinson's song pretty well describe us. I know he was talking about a break up but the words still fit all of us and I don't know about you but a lot of times I'm smiling and crying at the same time

People say I'm the life of the party

'Cause I tell a joke or two

Although I might be laughing loud and hearty

Deep inside I'm blue

So take a good look at my face

You know my smile looks out of place

If you look closer it's easy to trace

The tracks of my tears

I need you...

Need you

Since you left me if you see me with another girl

Looking like I'm having fun

Although she may be cute, she's just a substitute

'Cause you're the permanent one

So take a good look at my face

You know my smile looks out of place

If you look closer it's easy to trace

The tracks of my tears

Outside I'm masquerading

Inside my hope is fading

I'm just a clown since you put me down

My smile is my make up

I wear since my break-up with you

Baby, take a good look at my face

You know my smile looks out of place

If you look closer it's easy to trace

The tracks of my tears

Mary Linda

[Jan Thurman]

I remember that song. You hit the nail on the head that is exactly how we feel. I have been feeling pretty good for a couple of weeks couldn't even cry. My daughter said mom you've been crying for almost 6 months straight it's about time you had a break. But yesterday at work I could feel it coming on. I don't know if it was the Labor Day Holiday but I felt just like it had just happened. Tears kept trickling down my face but I fought them back until I got in the car to go home and then I let it all go. I could barely see how to drive. Cried all the way home. I said to my daughter it must be the 6 month mark which will be Sept. 4th. She said 6 months, 6 years you are still going to miss him after 40 years. It would have been our 40th anniversary the 28th of August and it was my mom's 90th birthday the 29th of August and had to celebrate that even though I really didn't feel like it - then Labor Day holiday so I guess it just all built up inside of me. I slept in the chair last nite as I felt totally exausted but I have been sleeping in my bed since I moved it. It is also upsetting me that football season is starting. He loved to watch football and we always watched it together. Thanks for posting that song and thanks for listing to me ramble. Jan

[mlg]

Today hasn't been a good day because it is the one year (day wise) of when he was diagnosed. Then when I was coming home today the dumb radio has to play the Guess Who song, These Eyes

These Eyes

these eyes, cry every night for you

these arms, long to hold you, again

the hurtin's on me yea

but I will never be free, oh my baby no no

you gave a promise to me, yea

and you broke it, you broke it, oh oh

these eyes, watched you bring my world to an end

this heart, could not accept and pretend

the hurtin's on me yea

but I will never be free, no no no

you took the vow with me yea

you spoke it, you spoke it

babe

these eyes, are cryin'

these eyes have seen a lot of love,

but they're never gonna see another one like I had with you

these eyes, are crying

these eyes have seen a lot of love,

but they're never gonna see another one like I had with you

these eyes, are crying

these eyes have seen a lot of love,

but they're never gonna see another one like I had with you

these eyes,

cry every night for you

these arms,

these arms want to hold you, hold you again

these eyes, are crying

these eyes have seen a lot of love,

but they're never gonna see another one like I had with you

these eyes, are crying

These eyes have seen a lot of love,

but they're never gonna see another one like I had with you

these eyes, are crying

these eyes have seen a lot of love,

but they're never gonna see another one like I had with you

these eyes, are crying

these eyes have seen a lot of love,

but they're never gonna see another one like I had with you

Then I find a card from Feb. 1967 that says "You risk crying when you have let yourself love."

So I guess from all of this I was meant to cry for the rest of my life

[Ejn]

You're right Mary Linda I guess we will cry for the rest of our lives. My Larry passed away 11/17/07 and there hasn't been a day that I haven't cried. Sometimes all day and night.

[KathyG]

It's too bad that "My Heart Will Go On" became such a cliche after the movie "Titanic" came out, because the song's lyrics have extra meaning when you're mourning for your soul mate. Here are the lyrics: try to read them as a poem instead of thinking about Celine Dion singing them, and you'll see what a good fit this song is for us.

Every night in my dreams

I see you, I feel you,

That is how I know you go on

Far across the distance

And spaces between us

You have come to show you go on

Near, far, wherever you are

I believe that the heart does go on

Once more you open the door

And you're here in my heart

And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time

And last for a lifetime

And never let go till we're gone

Love was when I loved you

One true time I hold to

In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are

I believe that the heart does go on

Once more you open the door

And you're here in my heart

And my heart will go on and on

You're here, there's nothing I fear,

And I know that my heart will go on

We'll stay forever this way

You are safe in my heart

And my heart will go on and on

[AnnC]

I LOVE the Titanic song, it expresses so well how I feel. And Jan, as for feeling the grief after 6 months, your daughter is right. I have been very weepy today, and I'm in the fifth year since his death. Most of the time I feel pretty good, and then I have a day like today, when I can't stop crying just like right after he died. I have no idea what triggered it today, maybe because Monday is his birthday. Also, my mother was going through all her photos, and she gave me some from when he and I were dating and engaged, and it brought back happy memories, but also the grief.

But for two full years after he died, I cried every single day. The third year, probably every other day. I have only recently really felt that I can take joy in life again, but I still have my days, like today.

Ann