A Different Perspective

[kath]

I'm sick and feeling sorry for myself. I miss not having anyone take care of me. What would have been my 22nd wedding anniversary is also coming up at the end of this month. So, that has been on my mind a lot...just one more shattered dream.

I thought I'd watch our wedding video and have a good cry. I did. Then the kids wondered why they never get to see it. (They have, but weren't interested because they weren't in it.) So, I settled us all on the bed in front of our 3" screen with a box of tissues. (I no longer have a VHS player on the TV, had to drag out the car player.)

The kids lost it, and not because their dad looked so handsome. My glasses in 1986 were as big as my face and they couldn't contain their laughter. So, we watched every home movie we have. Seeing their dad didn't bring tears of sorrow, but rather they got to see someone that was really active in their lives. I hope some day I can be as "childlike" as my kids and see what I've had instead of what I've lost.

[dpodesta]

Believe me, one day you will be able to see it that way. For now remember this...It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

Love always

Derek

[kath]

There was one video that was classic Bob. He spent about 20 minutes putting elbow pads, knee pads and a helmet on Mike before helping him ride a two-wheeler. I was amazed he didn't wrap him in bubble wrap. Then, what was so funny, was he would only let him ride down the grassy hill! I was laughing while filming at how protective he was. It was pretty cool to remember those moments we shared. So much of my mind only goes to the days he was the sickest. This was a good diversion for me.

[kayc]

I don't know why, but your husband reminds me of this song...I loved the part where you said you were amazed he didn't put him in bubble wrap!

Tim McGraw - Grown Men Don't Cry

I pulled into the shopping center

And saw a little boy wrapped

Around the legs of his mother

Like ice cream melting

They embraced

Years of bad decisions

Running down her face

All morning I'd been

Thinking my life's so hard

And they wore everything

They owned living in a car

I wanted to tell 'em

It would be OK

But I just got in my suburban

And I drove away

I don't know why they say

Grown men don't cry

I don't know why they say

Grown men don't cry

I keep having this dream

About my old man

I'm 10 years old and

He's holding my hand

We're talking on the front porch

Watching the sun go down

But it was just a dream

He was a slave to his job

And he couldn't be around

So many things I wanna say to him

But I just placed

A rose on his grave

And I talked to the wind

I don't know why they say

Grown men don't cry

I don't know why they say

Grown men don't cry

I'm sitting here with

My kids and my wife

And everything that

I hold dear in my life

We say grace and

Thank the Lord

Got so much to be thankful for

Then it's up the stairs and

Off to bed and my little girl

Says I haven't had my story yet

Everything weighing on my mind

Disappears just like that

When she lifts her head

Off her pillow and says

I love you Dad

I don't know why they say

Grown men don't cry

I don't know why they say

Grown men don't cry

[dpodesta]

I remember this song and it is soooo true.

Love always

Derek

[kath]

Oh, thank you, Kay!

It's an awesome song and new to me. It brought back the memory of Bob at his daughter's wedding. I looked at him and he had tissues stuck under his glasses. I'd never seen anything so precious!

Kath