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Some Things I've Learned


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Hi My Family,

Just thought I'd take a moment and share some of the things I have learned throught this grieving process. As some of you know I have been at it a long time. It will be 12 years on Christmas that Jimmy is gone and two years in February that John is gone.

One thing I have learned is that this time of year seems to be the hardest. It does not seem to be because this is when I lost Jimmy on Christmas, but I have observed from others who have gone through great loss that it affects them too. I have been doing fine but all of a sudden when the Christmas season started it brought on that saddness again. It is not as severe as it used to be but it is still there all the same. I think it may be because Christmas is such a family oriented holiday and we miss that special closeness we had with those we have lost. As hard as it seems it will be to get through the holidays, please know that you will and you will be OK. Most times the anticipation of the holiday is worse than the actual holiday itself.

I would also like to share a little for those of us with children. As you know I have two girls, Kerri 9 and Kayla 8, I have noticed that the same things that trigger memories for me also triggers memories for them. If you see them acting up more than normal, think about it and see if there is something that is triggering remberence for you and you may find that it is the same thing that is happening to them, they just do not understand it and don't know how to express it. I have actually found that sometimes when they are acting up I think about it and realize I am feeling the same way and it just happens to be that something has triggered a memory.

I hope this helps someone, but if it does not that is Ok too because it helps me to sometimes to put my thoughts into words.

I also would like to wish everyone in my family here some peace this holiday season and let you know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Love & Hugs, :wub:


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Dear Corrine,

You are right on with your insights about children. Mine are close in age to yours. Yesterday was my daughter's 12th birthday. I find I miss their dad more on their birthdays than at any other time. It was such a joyful time and to no longer be able to talk about it with the one I shared it with is so hard and I have to force myself to make it special for them. But after my best effort, my daughter was upset at the end of her day and couldn't tell me why. As I told her the story of when she was born and all the wonderful things about her dad, she seemed to calm down. Then I had to laugh because I told her the only good thing about not having her dad here is that he can't tell me I'm telling the story wrong! (We tended to recall things differently :blush: )

Peace to your family this Christmas, also.


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