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My name is Talia and my boyfriend Marc died on Thursday 02/19/09. He was 51 years old and the only man I've ever loved and trusted. I am now 7 months pregnant with his baby. Its not fair he was taken from us before we could start our family and get married. He died suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack as a result of an undiagnosed Coronary Artery disease. There were no warning signs or symptoms and he appeared to be healthy. He was in perfect shape, he excerised and ate healthy on a regular basis and he would try to make me do the same so we'd be able to live our lives together for as long as possible but little did we know, he had no chance. He wanted to live for a long time so he could be with me and our baby, he loved life and couldn't wait for her to be born and for us to get married after her arrival. This will be my first child and would have been my first and only marriage. For him it would be his 3rd child and second marriage. its not fair, he deserved to have a second chance at a family- thats all he wanted was a family that loved him as much as he loved us.

I can't take the pain of him being gone. He won't be there for the birth of our little girl. He'll never have the chance to hold her and look into her eyes. I'm all alone without him- this isn't the way things are supposed to be. We knew each other for over a year and a half since July 2007 when i started working at his job. We started going out January 2008 and I moved in with him that May. We knew that there was no one else we wanted to be with for the rest of our lives except each other. We were in love with each other from the very beginning and our love grew with each passing day. We spent every single moment with each other. He always wanted to be around me for everything. This is so hard cause I need him here and he is gone and never coming back. I don't know how to live without him- he was always there for me. He was my life, my world, my best friend and he was everything to me. I can't live without him. Everyday is worse than the next, I cry all the time and i have been having panic attacks since he died. I'm severely depressed. People have told me I will be okay and it will get easier but I'm not okay and it gets harder everyday. I hate waking up because it's another day I have to live without him. I hate it and i hate everything. What is the point in doing anything if he is not here with me? Why did this have to happen to me when i can't handle it?

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Talia I am so sorry for your loss of your boyfriend Marc, my husband was also 51 when he passed....way too young and way too sudden and unexpected. I had 2 daughters with my husband, who are older now but each time I look at them I see so many memories, so many traits of my Steve and that is what you will have too with your daughter. A part of him will always be in your daughter, please remember that and as hard as it is to go on, you have a precious life in you to think of so you need to try to get your rest and good nutrition. Marc is watching over you and he will be there for the birth of your daughter, how could he not? Please take care of yourself and remember to come here whenever you need us...we are all in this together and you are now a member of this family so take advantage of that and feel our love, support and blessings.

Love Always,

Wendy

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Talia - - I just don't know what to say. I am so sorry that you lost Marc. It must be absolutely terrible for you. I am just so glad that you found this site. We are a family in grief. The support here is unyielding and I'm sure that you are in every one's prayers. It is a cold, dark an lonely place we go to when we lose the love of our lives. But, you have another life inside you that is part of Marc too, so you must care for yourself and that new life no matter how difficult. And you can be sure that every one on this site knows just how difficult that is. It is unfair that one so young and a life that was filled with such promise has been cut short leaving you to fend for yourself and your new child. Believe me, our prayers and thoughts are with you. Please come back often and let us know how you are doing.

Kathy

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Talia, My heart is breaking for you. I lost my precious husband, who was 51, on 2/23/09. I know the despair I feel and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. We have 1 daughter who is 27. You will see Marc in your little girl, he will never be gone as long as she lives. So, please take care of yourself and your little one. We are a family and we are here for you anytime.

Love

Phyllis

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Talia,

I am so sorry that you had to join our family. Know that you are so early in to this that you are probably just coming out of the "shock" phase. Not to diminish your grief but we have all been through this (except for the pregnancy part at the same time as your loss and probably someone can even identify with that). That is why we are all telling you to take care of yourself and get the nutrition and rest you need if nothing else. You have a precious life that is a part of Marc within you.

We promise you that in a couple of years instead of going four steps back and a 1/2 step forward you will go 1 or 2 steps forward and a 1/2 step back. You may never totally get over it, but eventually you will sleep better and be able to face the day.

I found the words you used strange because I wake every morning and look at my wedding picture and say, just another day without you. I'm 15 mos. out and still am very lonesome but I can look back and see that I have made progress, no matter how little and you will too.

Keep coming back to us.

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