Tomorrow Will Be 6 Months

[cubby]

Well tomorrow will be 6 months since my mom passed away. It seems like forever ago, but then it seems like she was here yesterday. I miss her soooooo much. I've needed to talk to her about health issues that only a mom would understand. I've been so depressed and don't know what to do. My husband tries hard to be supportive. He is the greatest and I don't know what I would do without him.

It seems as if the world keeps going for everyone , but I'm stuck and can't really move forward. If I laugh or feel up beat then I feel guilty, because my mom is gone. What right do I have to laugh and be happy? Yes, I know my mom would want me to try to be happy and live my life, but it hurts when I know I can't share it with her. I just miss her.......

Cubby

[mlg]

And you will miss her for the rest of your life, but it does become different. I can't tell you when it will happen because each of us is different, but it WILL happen. There will still be times when you feel like you fell in a big mud hole and are back in the same rut, but it does get better. I am only hoping the same thing will happen with the loss of my husband. I'm still in quick sand and right now I feel like I'm drowning again, but I have faith that it too will get better.

[leeann]

Thinking of you today Cubby. The missing is for always. But I find it isn't as intense as often, the further out I get from my Mom's passing. I have intense moments of grief still... but they aren't 24/7 anymore, nope.. no where near as often. But I will always miss her and my Dad and I imagine I will always have "those" moments from time to time.

About that guilt when you catch yourself feeling a bit better...

Maybe it might help to think of your Mom as now happy & well. And knowing she would want you to be happy. I doubt she would ever question your right to happiness. She would want that for you. Our feelings just are... what they are.

I find I don't do well if I judge mine. I do better when I just let them be as they are and express them whenever I can.

(((((Hugs)))))

leeann

[Chai]

Dear Cubby,

I am late, but I am sending loving, comforting thoughts in your direction. I hope that your day was as good as it could be. Just as a suggestion, something I recently thought of - maybe it would help you too - write a letter to your mom? Tell her how you feel, share with her the things you are experiencing that you wish she were here for.

I wrote a letter to my dad, and found that "telling" him about stuff like that, about my struggle, actually helped. I know that my dad wishes me well, and wishes my happiness, just as your mother wishes you happiness. Somehow in writing a letter, I found I was able to feel and sense more, this exchange of love that happens with our loved ones, even without my dad there to reply back. Just sharing is sweet.

My six-month day is tomorrow (well, today, now)... I shall have to do something special for it.

I am happy your husband is supportive. That is wonderful. I think mlg is right - we will always miss them. But there are ways to make the ache less painful, or to make the missing...into a sweet remembering of good times, or doing an homage to them now.

take care,

Chai