Christmas Songs

[tootie]

Gee the whole tome I was growing up my mom sang all the time.

We were so happy when we were singing, & cristmas was the best time of the year. It never failed wherever we were we always had a song to sing.

Well I still love to sing, but I can not make myself listen to christmas misic.

My kids want to listen to some, but I will not have it. Then when they do play some all I can do is cry, be sad. Then they feel bad.

What the heck am I supposed to do?

I am supposed to be the adult, but I sure do not feel like on right about now.

Any sugestions will be more than welcome.

Thank you.

[twilcox1978]

I know exactly what you mean.. Christmas is my mothers favorite time of year.. with the baking, shopping, singing! This is the first one without her and let me tell you its been hard as hell! I hear the christmas songs and I just cry and cry... especialy the one about the child getting the shoes for his mom so she can look good when she meets Jesus tonight... I just cry and cry.. My kids look at me and ask me if I am ok. My oldest knows now she always says you mess Grandma... I want to be a wonderful mother like she was so i play the music and bake the cookies and do the things she use to do with us because I want them to have those happy moments with me like I did with my mom.. It's important to me to do things the way she always did so I feel closer to her but it tears me apart missing her so much... I mean when we went down there for her funeral I took the things she always wore.. her watch, ring, perfume... I have to have it and wear it, it makes me feel as close to her as I can. Even my daughter says mommy can I have some perfume so I can smell like Grandma... Everyone knew this smell it was mom/grandma... I just cant stand being so alone... but maybe I deal with it because I know she isnt suffering and she is in a much better place... I am sure watching the kids open there gifts will me make me even hurt more because we ALWAYS had christmas with my mom... I even cried at halloween because mom couldnt see them in their costumes.. Its hard and I really dont know how I get through it? My children help me a bunch... My suggestion is let them hear the music sing with your kids like your mom did with you, cry all the tears you need to... Your kids will see how much you miss your mom...But they will have those wonderful moments with you too..

[SIR]

Hello everyone,

I know exactly what you mean! As many of you already know, I lost my mom on September 29, 2004. This well be the first Christmas without her too. I am really taking it hard. I don't want to do anything, I don't want to buy anything. I just don't want to deal with it right now. I can't wait until it's over with and I can move on with the rest of the crappy year and hope that next is better. Thankfully I've got to work Christmas eve and Christmas day, so I'll be sleeping most of the day to be prepared from my nightshift. I know that I've upset a lot of people by working but I don't really care. I don't want to open gifts or celebrate, I feel like I don't have anything to celebrate or be thankful for. I know that I'm being mellodramatic but thats just the way I feel.

I miss my mom more then anyone in my family. I was the closest one to her. I talked to her almost every day and enjoyed my time with her, but it just wasn't enough time for me. I want more! I, like many, just don't know how to deal with it anymore. "STOP the world, I want off!!!" I sometimes feel that I'm not going to make it through it! I've been told that I've aged alot this year and it doesn't surprise me. I've got more grey hair and wrinkles then I've ever seen on my face these days...but once again I don't care. I don't care if I gain weight or if my hair turns white it just doesn't matter to me anymore.

Yesterday was very hard for me for some reason. I thought that I was doing okay but I guess not. I was at work and was talking to my friend and I had asked her if my mom knows how much I need her with me right now? It doesn't really matter what she says because I still feel all alone. I am a very selfish person I guess.

My boss' mom passed away just about a week ago. He's just like he has always been. I know that he was close to her too, but he seems to be taking it just fine. I offered my condolences to him and he said that his mom lived a full life and did everything she wanted to do and he was happy that she didn't have to suffer long. I know that she was going to be 86 or something, but 86 or 63 it doesn't matter, I still can't get over it. Anyway, I don't know why I went off of this tangent but Thanks for listening.