My 40 Year Old Daughter Died

[Marie]

Hi ,

I lost my 40 year old daughter Laura on Sept. 19, 2009. She was my only daughter. She was living in Paris France with her husband and her 4 year old daughter. Laura was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis when she was around 24, she lived with this disease, researched it and I believed she knew everything about the risks. Well she did not know about the rare but almost always fatal risk of Thromboembolism.

She had a severe headache and was taken to the hospital with left sided paralysis, she had blood clots in her brain, liver and lungs. I flew to Paris with my son, when we got to France she was in a medically induced coma, she didn't know we were there, it was several days of hoping and praying that she would survive. The doctors were wonderful, but they could not save her life. She died of acute and general thromboembolism.

After her death, I researched and found that there are documented cases of death from this with people that have U.C. what I don't understand is why the doctors don't tell patients about this fatal risk.

The loss of Laura has changed not only my life but of our whole family's life. She was a very talented beautiful girl. She spoke French fluently and Italian. She has left us her 4 year old daughter, I don't see her much because they live in France ,now with only her father.

This sudden tragedy in my life has left me not only sad all the time but depressed. I have a wonderful doctor that has given me Xanax, it helps but I have come to believe that the loss of your child has to be the most pain anyone can have.

[steely]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I am newly widowed myself and the pain is very new. My husband died in a similar way, he had a brain aneurism. It was so sudden and unexpected, I sometimes can't believe it happened. I don't know what to say except you are not alone.

[JonKoisMom]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Laura. It's so sad when we out live our children. I have two deposits in heaven. I can relate to some of your circumstances. My 3rd son, Noah, died 28yrs. ago from SIDS then in on June 29 of this year, my oldest son, Jon died. He was 37. Jon and I had complications during his birth which resulted in him having Cerebral Palsy. He was happy,healthy, and very intellegent but needed a lot of help. He couldn't walk, had a hard time being understood when he talked, and had to be fed, showered, etc. by someone else. He went to lunch with someone connected to his group home and choked on meatballs. He went down and went into cardiac arrest and his heart stopped for 9 minutes. We were told he was brain-dead so we had to let him go. I relive all of this everyday over and over. I also have a granddaughter. She and her Mom live with us. I miss Jon very much and since I've started coming to bereavement groups, I miss Noah more too. I spend a lot of time at Legecy Connect in the Loss of a Child group. It really helps. If you need to talk, you can email me via my page. You will be in my prayers.

[derby]

I am so very sorry for your loss. Blessings to you and your family. Debbie

[Boo Mayhew]

Marie, I am deeply sorry for your huge loss. I cannot imagine what you feel because I was never blessed with children, but I do know what it is like to be separated from someone I love beyond words.

I just wanted to say that I used to suffer from ulcerative colitis - it is a dreadful disease and I am fortunate because mine has gone into remission. You are quite right ... I was never warned about this complication either.

I wish you strength and peace along your journey.

In my thoughts,

Boo xx

[Marie]

Thank you for your kind words. I hope that your disease stays in remission, but I think everyone that has this disease should be told of this risk, please pass the word around that even though this risk is rare it is a killer.

Marie

[Sherry - Author/Speaker]

I am so sorry for your loss. Your daughter sounded light a beautiful person and someone I would have like to have known. What makes this hurt even more, I am sure, is the fact that your granddaughter lives so far away and you will not get a chance to possibly spend as much time with her as you would like. I watched my own daughter go thru grief in her losses. You are right. It is the worse pain a parent can go thru in talking to her. I have been very blessed in the fact that my grandchildren are here. I do hope you are able to find comfort in other family and friends that are near you. I also hope you are able to talk often to your granddaughter by phone. Maybe, as you gets a little older, you will be able to make much contact also thru letters, photos, and videos and may this, in some way, ease the pain of the loss of your daughter. Maybe one day you can make some sort of a story book for your little granddaughter telling her all about her special mom since she is so young and didn't get the chance to get to know her mom. Maybe in some small way this will be healing for you too. I know this hurts beyond all hurts right now and I just pray that God will wrap His arms around you and bring you comfort. Sherry