Korina Posted December 19, 2009 Report Posted December 19, 2009 Well, December 19 is that big 6 month anniversay. I don't really know what to say. I think most of the posts here lately mirror in some way how I have been feeling. Right now, I am just tired and empty. I applied for Kailyn's passport today, and I just about lost it when the lady said how sorry she was about my husband; I could tell she meant it. Paperwork really sets me off, not when I am preparing necessarily, but when I am making it official. And I have to carry Scott's death certificate with me when travelling with Kailyn - I totally understand why, but it still feels like a kick in the gut. Wow, do I ever miss my guy.... Kailyn and I are leaving on the 20th to spend Christmas with my inlaws, to my family on the 29th, and then back home and to work (and daycare for Kailyn...) in January. I won't be online much over the holidays, so if I don't reply a lot over the next couple of weeks, I will be back sometime in January (though at first probably sparingly, as I expect I will be pretty tired, getting back to work and adjusting to the whole single working parent thing). Love to everyone here, and I hope you find some peace over the holidays. And ALL MY LOVE TO MY ANGEL, My Perfect Scott Korina
Kat2005 Posted December 19, 2009 Report Posted December 19, 2009 Korina, I am right there with you. It will be 6 months on the 23rd for me. I don't know how it is for you but I am having a difficult time just functioning in my daily routine right now. Having so many first in a week is so overwhelming. What is a good night sleep? I don't know, I haven't had one in such a long time. I am exhausted all of the time. Paperwork! I took care of the things that had to be done immediately but the things that didn't have to be done it still sitting there. It is just another step that I am not ready for. It just validates everything. I hope you find some peace over the holidays. Enjoy your visit with Scott's family. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Kailyn. Take care, Kat
derby Posted December 19, 2009 Report Posted December 19, 2009 Korina, Many thoughts and wishes for safe travels over the holidays. We will all, somehow get through this holdiay....easier said than done. But we will. Blessings to you and your little one. Debbie
Maryo Posted December 20, 2009 Report Posted December 20, 2009 Korina, I hope you find peace and comfort over the holidays. Keep our fingers crossed for a better year in 2010. Take care. Mary Lou
LindaKoz Posted December 20, 2009 Report Posted December 20, 2009 Korina, I wish you safe travels and I hope you are able to find moments of peace during this Christmas season. I continue to hold you in my prayers. Peace, love, and blessings, Linda
Boo Mayhew Posted December 29, 2009 Report Posted December 29, 2009 Korina and Kat - please look after yourselves and be gentle with YOU now ... the 6 month mark was very hard for me. Like I was starting to come out of the fog and I felt as though I would never come out of that deep dark place that I dropped to. What I can tell you though is that I did, and so shall you (even if you don't believe me right now!). I am so sorry that your six month mark has coincided with Christmas - that is doubly hard :-( Wishing you peace and strength, Boo xxx
Kat2005 Posted December 29, 2009 Report Posted December 29, 2009 Boo, Thank you so much for your kind words. Sharing your experiences has helped me tremendously. This site has been a God send for me. Everyone here has gotten me through some very hard times. Thank you so much! I will keep you in my prayers. I hope the New Year brings you comfort and peace! Take care, Kat
Korina Posted December 31, 2009 Author Report Posted December 31, 2009 Thank you all for your posts, and Boo, great to hear from you. Yes, 6 months at Christmas definitely sucks. I have had some very hard nights, but all in all, spending Christmas with Scott's family and now here with my parents has helped me greatly. And spending time with our daughter is theraputic for everyone. I am just waiting to get through 2009 - so many deaths in the lives of friends and family (and now the uncle Scott was very close to has his partner/wife of 30 years on life support with no real hope of emerging...so difficult for Scott's mother!). But Kailyn was also born, so I guess momentous is an appropriate descriptor of the year. Anyhow, I still don't really believe he is gone - how long does it take for it to be real? Korina
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