Anniversary Seems The Hardest

[Kat2005]

This first has hit me really hard. I have such an empties inside it hurts. I thought the holidays were bad but my anniversary seems much harder. It isn't until the 14th of this month but the minute I realized that we were already in the month of April the feeling crept up on me and hit me like a ton of bricks. I guess it because it is "our" special day. I know I have my memories to help me get through this important day but I still feel cheated out of the life that should have been even though we had 25 wonderful years together. It is so strange. You think you are making such progress in this journey. You are able to control your emotions instead of your emotions controlling you. Then "BAM" another first comes around and all of sudden your emotions seem like they are in the drivers seat again. I just miss him so much.

I don't know what I would do if I didn't have everyone here. Thank you for listening.

Kat

[LarrysGirl]

Kat, it does seem like the anniversaries are the hardest, I know its been that way for me.

I felt cheated also, out of our dreams for the future, all of our plans, that will never be. It's what kept him alive, he had hope. I'm glad you found this site because with the support of the people here, this will help you heal. Deborah

[Rochel]

Hi Kat,

I too had a very difficult time with my Anniversary 3/15....Some friends came over and took me to lunch and a mall and I spent money on myself...then I came home and drank some wine and painted my wall red (faux-turned out great) stay close to people you love and tell them to get your little butt out of the house...don't be alone..I will pray for you my Dear Kat...All these dates are extremely hard but the Lord will see you through...Stay close to Him...Blessings, Rochel

[teny]

hellow my friends.I was ready to post about anniversaries and I found the post allready.forme april is the hardest month.The 9 is the day we met.it was Easterday.the then the 11 my birthday the 22 his birthday the 13 one year from my mothers death.Easter and the holly week all sadness is 1oo times deeper.Im so sorry thatsome days I feel Im progresing and some days I wonder why I can not give hope to our new friends.Today I was with my family all loving and caring.My 10months grandaughter was with us and all I was thinking why he is not here to be happy with the little one he never met.Im surviving but not finding joy and when I feel Im happy about something I always feel the big hole in my heart.Please forgive me for not being able to expres myself better. Love from far away.TENY

[Korina]

My anniversary was terribly hard - it was 1 month after Scott died, and it would have been our 10th. Actually, the days prior to our anniversary were the hardest. Our actual anniversary wasn't as bad because I had the day planned, and I believe my love helped me through the day.

The hardest day so far was Father's Day (June 21). Scott died on June 19. It would have been his first Father's Day. That was crippling, though I was still in those early days of numbness and shock. The family (his and mine) were hosted by our surrogate family at their restaurant for a lovely dinner on Father's Day for Scott, which really was so wonderful, though I am crying thinking about it. I think that Father's Day will always be the hardest for me.

Korina