Moving On Too Soon

[IMBlessed]

Is there such a thing as moving on too soon or will it be detrimental in my future? I'm not grieving all the time, like everyone else I believe due to my faith. I feel crying won't bring him back. I am trying to keep positive, getting out, visiting, keeping busy, reading spiritual books, reading my bible, exercising, eating healthy, going to movies, dining out with friends, etc. When negativity enters my mind, I just begin to pray and it goes away. I already gave all his clothes away and a lot of his personal belongings. I was going to give my diamond ring to my sister...since it is an heirloom from my side of the family. I plan to fly out to visit her next week and would like to give it to her in person...but do not want people to talk. He died in Feb. I loved him so very much for 34 years..this just seems strange that I should feel this way.

[Korina]

IMBlessed:

Everything I have heard about grief is that everyone's journey is their own. From the way you write, you find comfort in your faith and in activity. I know that I am generally pretty good when I am busy at work, basically doing things. But I do allow myself to feel the grief, which still hits me at any time, but most often when I am alone. For me, this acknowledges how much we love(d) each other.

If your faith comforts you, that is wonderful. My belief that I will see Scott again helps me a great deal. And you obviously miss him, as you mention that when negativity shows up, you pray. We all just have different ways of dealing with our grief. Though of course, I am not an expert, I think that as long as we truly acknowledge our loss to ourselves and don't try to lock out the feelings associated with our loss (and, of course, don't hurt ourselves or others), then we are dealing with it just as we should.

Take care,

Korina

[Queeniemary]

IMBlessed

I agree with Korina, each of us moves at a different pace. Each of us has to do what we feel is right, and do what is right for us. Your faith is great. I have faith also, but not as great as yours I am afraid. My husband died in January, and this week I was able to pack up most of his clothing (not all) and take to a facility in our town that helps other people. I just could not see that hanging onto all the clothes was helping anyone. I hung onto all his hats, he had probably 25 or 30. Some were bought as costume pieces for the theatre, and some were more personal. I cannot do anything with those yet. My husbands ashes were transfered this week by a dear friend who works at a funeral home here, into the amazing red rock urn from Arizona. My husband loved Arizona and we visited there very often. I have placed the rock under the portrait painted by an artist friend after Mike's death. There are also other Arizona memrobilia (? spelling?) near his rock....I think he would have approved. He was very adament about not ever wanting to be buried. I plan to scatter some of his ashes in a spot we both loved. There was too much Mike for the rock. He would have gotten a kick out of that, he was a big man, and proud of it. Sorry I did not mean to go on....no I do not think you are moving on too soon...only you know how you are feeling, and if you feel this is right for you, then it is? Like you I am not grieving all the time, there are times I even feel a peace, but there are still times it hits me again like a baseball bat in the stomach, and I cannot help but cry.

Praying for us all

Queeniemary in Arkansas

[nats]

I also question about moving on to fast, Ruth joined God 2/14/10

and we just passed 13 weeks, I know she is gone and I cry daily sometimes

other times days pass with no or very little tears...I have been attending dinners

every Monday with Ruth's neice as she lost her husband 9 months ago and we are developing an intense

friendship, I am very cautious as I know we are both in sensitive situations as far as emotions....we have also

attended a concert and had a cook out at her place and spent 6 hours just talking...at times I feel it's moving to fast

but I feel comfort and some sort of "moving on" as they call it...

NATS

[kayc]

While it's true that everyone is different in their response, I would use caution about proceeding too quickly with making changes, disposing of belongings, etc. A person can be in the shock stage and then come to and have regrets about how they've handled things. Give yourself time to really know what you want, there's always tomorrow.