When?

[hikedenali]

I just need to scream for a minute. In the last 10 days it has been Mother's Day, my birthday, and now today, 6 months since my mother passed. It has been hell. When does it stop getting harder and start getting better???

[mlg]

Only you will be able to tell that because we are all different. I don't know where you live but a lot of us around here have been really down and it has been several years but we have had such gloomy, rainy weather that we think that is part of the problem. We just aren't getting out and that makes it worse for a lot of people.

You have to realize that you were "hit" with several firsts recently and it's only been 6 mos. I still cannot take it more than one day at a time. If you need to take it a minute or hour at a time then that is what you need to do. Be gentle on yourself and you will make it through.

[loulou]

Go right ahead and scream.I kinda know how you feel.My dad died suddenly on newyears.Within 1 month I had his funeral,my birthday,then his birthday.It felt like tidal waves.Now I'm dreading fathers day....And I too wish it would start getting better.

[niamh]

hikedenali, sorry I missed your post yesterday

BIG HUGS to you, I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom. Wow that's a lot of special days all so close together.

No idea when or if it gets better, I'm 5months in since last Monday since I lost my Dad suddenly too (hi loulou )

and sometimes it feels harder now, I guess maybe because it gets more real every single day, who knows. Like mig I too still take this 1 day at a time, sometimes 1 hour at a time.

For me I actually prefer the rain now, I hate when I see the sun and bright days, it feels like a knife in me being twisted, I guess the rain and darkness fits with my heavy heart.

hugs and love to you hun

niamh

[hikedenali]

Thanks all. A bit better today. You know, it's been 6 months (and 1 day) and still, on my drive home from work, I think about calling my mom when I get home. I just never imagined anything could be this hard - and keep getting harder. Things that were previously meaningful just seem so insignificant and without purpose. I feel as though I have no idea where I belong; that I need to be bringing something to this world that people will remember when I'm gone - but I don't know what. Despite her circumstances, my mom did so much for so many, I can only hope to be half the person she was. I've been told the sun will shine again, and I believe it - but I can't yet imagine it.