8 Months Ago

[Nick]

Hi,

I'm new to this group first time posting anything regarding the death of my husband. It has been almost 9 months since he suddenly passed away with no warning. He went to work and just didn't come home I never got to say goodbye or have any closure. I still can't believe he is gone. He was only 44 years old I'm 37 we have two young boys. This is not how our life was suppose to turn out. I feel it's very complicated so many mixed emtions depending on the day. Feelings of regret, loneliness, sadness, sorry will it ever get better? He deserved more, he deserved to watch his children grow up why? I can remove myself from the equation but I'm so saddened for his lose. I know I must move on that is what he would want but it's so difficult. I hate raising the boys alone I hate going out and feeling everyone assumes I'm divorced! People don't know what to say they can say the stupidist things like it's like a divorce really??? I hope to find some comfort and strength on this site.

Thanks,

Leesa

[Delinda]

I am sorry for your loss. It is a horrible feeling. All of the hopes, dreams and plans are shattered. I really feel your pain. All of the same emotions and thoughts you have, I have them too. Most days I feel sick in my stomach. I feel so alone with my pain. I am new to this group also. Although sometimes I can't even finish a thought or type a sentence. My best friend, love of my life died suddenly on 4/23/10. I only had him for 8 years. I wasn't finished with him. I am 44, my Joe was 57. People keep telling me I am too young to stop living and loving and in time I will move on. I know people are trying to help they just don't know what to say. I'm like you, it's difficult to move on.

[Guest Robert27]

Hello, first off let me say I am so sorry for your loss, Sorry you had to come here like so many of us that has had losses, but Welcome to grief healing, The Support here is very well,

There are no answers as to why things like this happens, all I can say to you is I am very Sorry for your loss and I truely hope things get better.

[Korina]

I am 42 and my husband died 11.5 months ago, when our first baby daughter was only 4.5 months old. Though my situation is different in that Scott died while in treatment for alcohol addiction, I completely relate to your feelings, especially regarding your children. Both she and he are missing so much, though I am doing the best that I can for her. It completely isn't fair, and I will always question why he was taken from me, just when there was some light at the end of the tunnel in regards to his addiction - I just DON'T get it! He was an amazing person, my soulmate, I miss him with all my heart. I must say, though, that I am grateful for his gift to me in our daughter, as she has saved me through days when I did not want to move, or even be here.

And I hate being a single mom - people don't ask about divorce, as I still wear my wedding rings, but for those that don't know, I am always wondering if they are thinking, "Where is Kailyn's Dad - why does her Mom seem to do everything." Scott would have been a fabulous Dad!~

Take care,

Korina

[Billw]

Sorry to hear about your husband Lessa. I am in the process of trying to adjust to life without my wife and I absolutely hate it. My head tells me to isolate and feel bad but my heart tells me that she would hate that worse than anything. My wife passed in April from cancer and I still can't get my head around this deal. We also have two boys, they are still pretty torn up right now. If anything she would be proud of us as our relationships have tightened up since she passed. The only thing that seems to help is to stay close to them, try to get out even when I don't want to,and try to keep the good memories close to the heart. The last weeks were pretty hard on her and I have sought counseling to help me through the trauma of watching her suffer. I have shared in other posts about the anger I have felt through this deal, I too feel as though not only was she cheated out of watching these boys grow up and raise families, but we put a lot of work into our relationship and were really enjoying the benefits. I don't know why this happened, all I know right now is that there is some relief in sharing and talking to people who are in similar situations. Let people assume what they want, keep your boys close and your husband in your heart.

Take care and God Bless

BW

[Nick]

Thank you I feel very overhwhelmed with life lately! I guess most days I'm pretty mad why me but I know that is not what he would want. The sad part is my boys were so young will they remember him? I talk abou him often but they never bring him up it breaks my heart! I never want them or myself to forget him how could you so hard. It just really sucks!

Thanks,

Leesa

[Nick]

BW, So sorry for you and your boys loss as well that must have been hard to see her suffer!

[Nick]

Delinda, So sorry for your loss I ask myself every day how did this happen? He worked out was healthy makes no sense! I think I'm still in shock so mad and I find it very hard to see other couples and families together really difficult to be out alone without my husband. I find Sundays are the worst family day. I hate eating at the dinner table without him too many voids to list. I love to cook but have not cooked in 9months since he died. Have not watched any television can't even turn it on to watch the shows we use to love to watch together. Basically feel out of touch with the world.

Leesa

[closs86]

Hi Leesa,

So sorry for your loss, I also lost my husband in April, also healthy, ate well, exersized every day, what for?, he god sick and in 3 he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that spread, and he was gone. This is a good place to come, it has been helping me get through the days, my 2 sons were also there when he passed, it was a horrible experience, I am finding strength in knowing that my husband is with me, close by I can feel him, so that comforts me. I am also going to grief counseling, that also helps, we have to do everything to try to help ourselves, our husbands wouldn't want it any other way. I miss him every minute of every day, and have true heartache, but we can't change what has happened.

Take Care

Karen