Finding Legacy .... In My Mom's Recipe Box

[Ron B.]

7 months now into grieving the passing of my Mother; most of my days have been glum. Finally found a ray of sunshine; recently acquired my mother's recipe box. I have the job of photocopying all the recipes and getting copies to other family members and relatives. The recipes are wonderful, all the classic dishes my Mother made over the years and that I remember so well. I found many recipes going back 50 years or more, most hand-copied or typed. Found all my grandmother's recipes too. Saw recipes from dozens of family friends and relatives. Took me 5 or 6 hours at the photocopy machine. Came out with a stack of about 400 copies. Next: creating a complete list of recipes, resizing recipes to fit several per page, final paste-up, copying, and then binding.

I really am getting a morale boost out of this. I like the feeling of extending my Mother's legacy.

Ron B.

[MartyT]

Ron, dear ~ Your project is absolutely wonderful, and I'm so happy for you! Thanks so much for letting us know!

Your project reminds me of another that I learned about last winter. I'm sharing the following with you, just in case you're interested:

Blog, Life in Chicago is written by Claire Bidwell Smith, a bereaved daughter. In her entry, On Grief and Cooking, she writes about what makes her feel connected to her mother years after her death. The other site she mentions in her post, Bittersweet Memories, in her words is dedicated to all of those people that have lost their parent and/or loved one. For me, food is the trick for keeping their memory alive. This is a compilation of bittersweet memories in conjunction with a specific recipe. All of the traditional recipes that have departed with our loved ones, will now be remembered indefinitely. Claire says her mission is "to give people a comforting way to manage the loss that is forever and keep memories/recipes alive." Readers are invited to submit stories and recipes here.

[source: Grief Healing Blog entry, February 28, 2010]

[Lainey]

Dear Ron,

Maybe your mom's and grandmother's recipes are more of a legacy than you realize.Once you have got them copied , pasted and bound maybe you could sell them and donate the money to a worthy cause that your mother was interested in. The Cancer society sells cookbooks and donates the money for research or they help financially with a family that aren't able to find money for travel. Maybe it could help find a cure for the disease that took you mother.

Not only would a project of this size keep you busy, it would give you a sense of accomplishment. You did something to honor your parent!

Hugs to you, Lainey

[Ron B.]

Well, I've finished the cook book, but it sure was not a simple or easy project. At the start I thought I could do it all in a week or ten days. Then I found myself cleaning up all the recipe cards with Wite-Out, because of all the food spills, scotch tape, and yellowing newspaper. I became expert at using that little Wite-Out brush, and the results were nice clean text, but the clean-up took 3 weeks of constant work. Other than that, I had to write up a 2 page introduction and a 7 page table of contents for the 357 recipes, which was much easier work. I bound the booklet so it opens flat for easy reference.

I am quite pleased with the book, but I labored so intensely over the thing, that I can hardly look at it now or browse through it. I will probably regain some enthusiasm for my booklet when I distribute copies at a family reunion this coming weekend. I will be giving the book away; I do not want my relatives to be digging through their wallets or purses for payment. I want my Mother's legacy to be spread as liberally and as broadly as possible. My total expense in this venture is about $500, which I can afford.

I do want to make a point about how we cope with bereavement. During the entire project I thought of my Mother constantly; new memories of her would flood into my mind. At times the memories were so precious, that they were actually painful. I feel like I opened up a tap, through which my emotions can flow. My sense of mourning feels right; I feel somewhat freed from the wild swings of mood and the feelings of desperation. Some sense of my own purpose has been restored. I finally figured out that there is something we can do about death, by working with the legacy of our departed loved-ones.

Thank you Marty and Lainey for your encouraging words; I had planned to give progress reports on my booklet, but this project just swallowed me whole.

Ron B.

[MartyT]

Oh Ron! What a wonderful, uplifting experience! I am so proud of you! We'll all be with you in spirit at that reunion this coming weekend. The gift you've produced for your family is priceless ~ and what a beautiful tribute to your beloved mom. She would be SO pleased! I wish we all could have a copy

[mlg]

What a wonderful tribute to your mother. Did you happen to include a picture of her in your introduction?

[Aquarius7]

That's great! Good for you!

[Ron B.]

Mary Linda -

I deliberately left out a picture of my Mom. Just looking at one of her photos can make me cry. The memories are still too tender.

I did briefly mention my mother's passing in the introduction, and then got on with a description of her recipes.

I distributed the cook book at a family reunion, giving out about 20 copies. Now I have to print more copies for other family members.

Aquarius -

Thank you for the supportive comment. Like you, I am going through the grief of losing a Mother. Putting together the little cook book helped me focus my energies, instead of feeling so emotionally disarrayed.

I am convinced that finding and preserving legacy is a good path through grief.