It Has Been A While

[SHeiss]

It has been a month or so since I have updated anyone on the status of my dad. He is still alive which I should be thankful for and I am when he has his good days. But more often than not he is sick and in pain. I am so tired of seeing him hurt when there is nothing I can do to help him. I know this must sound so selfish and horrible but some days I truly feel that maybe he would be better off dead. It hurts me to feel this way, but when I go to my moms and I see him hurting so badly and getting sick and apologizing to me for being sick while I am there - I feel like my heart is being shredded to pieces because I know he is only doing the chemo thing for my mom, my sisters and me. I keep trying to be positive and strong but I think this is the hardest task I have had in my life.

To all of you... many hugs and a lot of love to you!

Thanks for listening!

[MartyT]

Sharla, dear ~ I'm so sorry. I know this is taking a terrible toll on you, your dad and the rest of your family. We are listening, and we will continue to hold all of you in gentle thought and prayer.

[kath]

Dear Sharla,

It was at a time like this I didn't know what to pray for. I wanted my husband with me, healthy and happy. But he was sick and the many, many treatments made him worse. To see him suffer was torture. I didn't want to pray for him to go, because I didn't believe I could live without him. So, I prayed that he would be safe...from pain, from fear, from heartache. Now, I believe that he is and so I shall pray for you and your family, that you are cared for and unafraid.

Kath

[niamh]

hi Sharla,

oh you poor sweetie having to see your precious Dad in so much pain. I can't imagine it Sharla, my heart goes out to you. Is the chemo working at all do they know, I wish so much it would.

Of course it's hard to stay positive and be strong, I honestly have no idea how people function at all in any other areas when having to watch a loved one go through so much, it's truly heartbreaking.

well, just wanted to send you some love and hugs, I think of you often although I may not always write on here,

Niamh

xo