So Many Triggers

[schelly]

Hello all,

Well yesterday was a very weepy day for me. there are so very many triggers to remind me just how much I miss my Dad. My husband and I took some remodeling garbage to the dump, and of all places I was in tears in minutes. When I was a little girl dad would go to the city dump with a load of junk so many saturdays and I always went with him. Then throughout the day I realized how many [ages of the book of my life have dad in them. There is such a empty place in my life that only dad can fill. I remind myself he IS here and start talking to him the the tears start to subside. Just some days miss him so much it really hurts. mom is being soooo brave and strong. for all of us am sure. we all hide true feelings cause no one wants to make the othere one sad or start a bad day for someone else who may be having a ok day. I always knew when I lost a parent it would devastate me but it is even worse than I ever could have imagined.

[Darl]

Hi, tell your mom about your wonderful memory, it helps so much to know he is not forgotten. My son called me to tell me his phone rang early in the morning and he wondered what the heck dad wanted this early, then he remembered dad had died and would not be calling him any more. When he told me it made me realize that my childrens loss for their father is as painful for them as it is for me. It is good to talk about how much he was loved.

Darl

[MartyT]

Oh Darl, I so agree with your suggestion. Whenever one of my sons shares a story about my father (their grandfather) it touches my soul. It is one of the most precious gifts they can ever hope to give to me. See, for example: The Power of Remembering: Grandfather's Pipe

[schelly]

i agree. I did share that story with my mom. Yesterday I went up and spent the day and evening with her and it seems we talk about dad alot. Untill I get weepy. It seems in my family you do not cry in front of people and I have always been a very soft emotional person. I miss my dad soooo much. On wednesday we are having a family memorial for dad's 80th birthday and are going to release balloons. Red of course. His favorite color.I thought of that a couple of monthes ago and asked mom what she thought of the idea and she also liked it. and not it sounds like our whole family except one sister can be there to remember dad on his 80th birthday. And one sister that I have not seen since dad passed on is even going to come. (even though I will be there)!She has not said a word to me in over a year. For a while I felt like I was also grieving for a big sister but then realized that if she choses not to have me or my family in her life any longer I guess there is nothing I can do about that. It is really sad. Even when I asked her if she could at least act civil around mom for mom and dads sake she will not come around if I am there. Oh well. Sorry for rambleing on just one of those days that a person spends feeling sorry for themselves and needs to remember how healthy and happy their loved one is now.