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Today Is My Birthday And Worst Birthday Ever

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Today is my 51st birthday and all I can say is worst birthday ever. Three weeks ago this Wed was my Dad's funeral. I had a chance to go to dinner with someone tonight but just want to be alone today - yet I don't. But there is no one I really want to be with either.

I'm feeling extremely anxious and depressed today and scared to go to sleep tonight, as I ran out of sleeping pills and medication. I admit, I went through the pills too fast as I've just wanted to sleep and escape.

I just don't know what to do with myself today. I just want this day over.

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I am sorry that your Birthday was so tough. I think it is on these special days that our loss is most present. I hope it helps to know that myself and others understand. Courage to you as you soldier on in this journey.


Carol Ann

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  • 2 weeks later...

Happy Belated Birthday LostDaughter. I understand how you feel, Its been over a year since dad passed and I always want to be alone, but dont.

My birthday is coming up and it feel especially hard this year as there will be no birthday card and no phone call. I am trying hard not to think about it, but am trying to minimize the pain on that day by contemplating how I will handle it. It just seems there is always a compromise.

I am finally learning [by reading through the many posts here] that I am not crazy and not alone and its ok to feel what I feel. It will take time not to miss the birthday cards and phone calls, but I am closer to moving on with my life.

This is my belated birthday wish for you, to be kind to yourself and know you will work through this in the time you need to do so.

Much love, happiness and hope


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