Lostdaughter Posted September 21, 2010 Report Share Posted September 21, 2010 I joined this forum because my Dad passed on Aug 28th. However, I am seeing I am not only grieving this loss, but also the loss of someone else I cannot seem to get out of my head or heart, even though it makes no sense for him to still be there. Isn't there a way to heal and move on without someone else taking his place? It'll be one year since I've seen him in six weeks and since April since we last exchanged emails (and they were not good) yet I just slept for a bit and he was in my dream. And that's not good, because today is my birthday (which I've chosen to spend alone) and I don't appreciate him invading my subconscious on my birthday! In the dream, he just walked up to me and handed me some things (returned things) and I couldn't even really keep my eyes open or see him clearly. Anyway, I trusted him (over and over) amidst a sea of red flags. I initially got involved with him in 2006 as he did homeless outreach for a living. I thought anyone who would do that job MUST be of good character. Boy, I don't think I was right about that. Anyway, there was a lot of on and off but I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. However, I now think he had a secret life that I'll never really know about. And I feel at this age (51) that I am never going to get over the pain he inflicted on me and ever be able to trust anyone again. Well, I just wanted to write this and get it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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