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First Birthday Without My Love.

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Just last week was Ray's birthday. Mine was the 21st. We always celebrated together before. Was a hard week for us all. We had the memorial for Ray on his birthday and I told all my family i was not celebration in any way for mine. Besides about a dozen phone calls, had one brother, 3 daughters, 3 grand daughters, 1 grandson-in-law, and 3 great grandkids here some part of the day and evening. They don't listen to what mom says I guess. They did make it a nice day tho, with one grand daughter telling me Ray would want me to enjoy the special days still. Have another daughter coming to town on Thursday or possibly two. One daughter gave me a bouquet with some bright yellow roses in it because she thought yellow was cheerful, and she's right it did make me feel good. No stopping the constant how can I do this!!! That is with me everyday day. I can't figure out how to be 1/2 of us and do it alone. Every day the stay cry over and over. I can not do this. BUT--* I know I have to and will"

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Just think of Ray being right there with you enjoying your getting those flowers, because you know he is in spirit even if he can't physically touch you. You're not 1/2 of a whole, you're both the whole meal deal!

Happy Birthday, wish I'd been on here yesterday.

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