Queeniemary Posted October 3, 2010 Report Share Posted October 3, 2010 Anyone remember that song...don't even remember who sang it, but it just came to my mind this morning. Actually the words should be "Another Weekend", cause as most of you will relate to, that is the worst time. I am busy all week with work, but weekends are the worst. I was actually very busy yesterday. Our arts council had a phone-a-thon membership drive, and as I am a board member, I had my share of calling to do. We all sat around a table in the lobby of the Lyric theater, owned by the arts council and called. We actually did rather well, almost $3000 pledges. Then myself and a couple of friends went to Branson to eat at the Olive Garden, and went to the Landing to look for Halloween masks. All in all a really good day, but this morning Sunday just stretches out in front of me. Got to do laundry, and as heating element went out on dryer yesterday, will have to go to laundrymat to dry the laundry. I just get so lonely for Mike. I know I am not the only one that feels this way. Mike will be gone 9 months on the 13th. I still think about him all the time, and still have times when I still cannot believe he is gone, but I will be honest and tell you that I manage to get through most days all right, and even though I still have attacks of SUG, they are not as often as before. The worst for me is the aloneness. No one here at home to share things with, to go places with, and it is not that I want "someone", I want Mike back. I am retiring in May, and am starting to wonder what I am going to do when I retire. I do have some plans, and one of those is volunteering at the arts council office a couple of days a week, but I am afraid I will become one of those old ladies that just sits around in her jammmies all day and not accomplish much. I am tired of trying to think up things to keep busy with, so that I won't dwell on Mike being gone. I keep hoping that soon I will start to feel "normal" all the time, but I am not even sure what normal is anymore. I am fortunate to have good supportive friends and family, and I am grateful for that, just feeling sad today, and I guess sorry for myself for being alone, and without Mike. Just miss that guy so much! Worried about my daughter, she is the one who found Mike after he died. She is experiencing some type of stress right now, but has not really shared it with me...seems to have made herself a little distant from me. She has been working in the deli in a local grocery store. Until a couple of months ago she made the doughnuts and breads, and seemed content to do that. Then they decided to not make them onsite anymore, but to bring them in from outside. She still worked in the deli, but doing things she really did not like to do. She suddenly quit her job last week, with no notice to her employers. She has to work, and I am hoping she can find something that will suit her better soon, but she really is not talking to me about this. She was such a rock for me after Mike died, and I want to be there for her. However, I know I just have to wait for her to want to share with me. This up and quitting a job, without another one lined up is not like my daughter, and that is my big concern. She is acting out of character. Well, I just read this over, and realize that I am really in a venting mood today, some days are just like that I guess. Maybe I will feel better if I actually get up from this laptop and start that silly laundry! Hope everyone has a good Sunday. Thanks for listening to me vent.....appreciate all of you with me in the club we did not choose to join. Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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