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Am I Abnormal?

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i lost two sons...i'm into the sixth yr since the second one died of suicide..

is it wrong to miss them still..

is it wrong to hang on to the memories of love??

i realized this is me...and i do not want to let

go of them..they are what give me the courage to carry on..'til i go to be with them when i die..


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OMG, I am so sorry for your losses. How can it possibly be abnormal to miss them? My heart goes out to you. They say grief never really leaves...it just gets different. If you are abnormal, then I am severely abnormal. I don't let go of things easily and still grieve certain things years after the fact that aren't nearly as much as what you've had to deal with.

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If you are abnormal, then so am I! I lost my one son,my baby 28 years old in a truck accident almost four years ago and my husband 10 days later from a blood clot.Not a day goes by that I do not miss and want them back!My son lived with us and I will not let anyone in his room,they are his things and no one can touch them. I am alone in this house now,but still feel as if I'm waiting for them to come home and then they don't!! I do not feel real,as if this is a story and I'm waiting for it to end.How could this have happened ??I go through the motions one day at a time to do what needs to be done.I am so very sorry for your pain,no one can understand what you feel or tell you how you should be! No one can say anything to me about my son,my heart,what's left of it, feels as if it is being ripped out all over again. You are you and have to deal with this pain in your own way,whatever it takes to get through each day.May God help you find some peace some way. Hopeless

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rainie, I am so sorry for the loss of both your sons.

ALthough I don't know what it's like to lose (or have) a child, I lost my Dad who was my entire world. It is not wrong at all to still miss them, why wouldn't you, they were and are a part of you, I just live in hope that they are all somewhere else now but our bonds are not broken with our loved ones, they have changed in a way we cannot yet understand. Hang onto everything every second of everyday if you want to.

I feel it's like a knife through my heart anytime I read anything about "letting go" of our loved ones who have left this earth, how can anyone ever let go, the memories, the loss, everything about them is simply a part of us now, a new part that none of us ever wanted but yet have no choice.

Don't let anyone tell you any different from what you know if your heart and I hope you never think it's wrong to miss them or like hopeless says then we are all "abnormal"

hopeless, so sorry also for the loss of your son and your husband .......as my Mom often says about all this that it's such an awful cross to bear.

I hope you will both find even the tinest comfort on this site, for me it's been and continues to be a lifeline

((hugs)) to all

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  • 1 month later...

When you lose a child your heart breaks into a million pieces forever. The heartache and sadness in no way ends when you leave the cemetery. In most cases it is just beginning. Everyone goes on with their lives and time keeps moving forward. You just want to scream "My son just died and I just want the world to stop and realize that". Your heart is broken to pieces and there is a hole in your chest and everyone just goes about their life. Grief is a journey and it takes a long time before you start to heal. I went to a mother's bereavement weekend at Faith's Lodge in Danbury last weekend. What I realize is that we just want to talk about our kids and tell their stories. Now the people in our live don't want to keep hearing the stories over and over after two years. Our friends think we should move on and may tell us so anytime we bring up our kids who have died. I think our biggest heartache is that our children who have died will be forgotten. I am hoping to help people deal with grief and that is my tribute to my children. Just keep moving forward not matte how hard it seems. I have lost two one 14 years ago at age 11 and one 2 years ago at age 7 both of cancer. I don't think my life will every be the same no matter how much time has passed. The loss of a child is a journey that last a lifetime.

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I usually don't venture outside of my group (lost both parents this past year) but the title caught my attention. I have 2 children and can't even imagine how you feel. I am more than sure the pain is indescribable. Of course you would want to talk about your children and remember all the things they did as babies and through the years. I cried just reading your posts because I can't let my mind go to the place where you stand. I am so sorry for your loss from the depths of my soul.

Honestly, I think people who think we should "let go" are not thinking, unfeeling or just don't know how it feels. I think whatever makes you feel better is what you should do.

Sending a HUGE hug.


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all your words here are so comforting and affirming..

you know i feel like maybe i am able to be 'living' kinda again..yet still i feel at times i'm right on the prepice of the verg of losing my mind....

i have five grandkids that are my husb's kids kids........and for the first time ..i've been able to reciever and believe their love for me..i've always been "their" grandma...they factor in nothing of being a step this or not blood that..

my son ronnies two kids have treated me like crap from the moment ronnie died....and 'til now i've taken their second hand crap..but NO MORE..

when i spent time with the five grandkids.....and recieved their genuine love and care ..even the teenage grandson honored me with his time and attention..

i said to my self "NO MORE" ....

and i've gotten my self worth back as i realized both my sons rocky and ronnie loved me and these grandkids loved me so the problem isn't my love to the two grandkids.....rons kids...it's them ...

hope this makes sence to you here..

hugs to you all rainie..

if i had not had on line peole to talke with it'da just lost my mind totally....

and NOW with th e love of these grandkids and their parents......i have somewhere to put all the love and care i have...


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