My 1St Christmas Alone

[nirac]

Its been seven months since my love died. Idon't know who said it gets easier with time because for me I am finding it getting harder with time. and now christmas is coming and I just want to sleep thru it. If it weren't for the kids I probably would. This really effin sucks, The sadness physically hurts,I am so sad and can not get into the Christmas spirit at all....charlie loved Christmas, his favorite holiday ever, I cant help but think to this time last year and am so saddened by the way life has changed forever.

[Queeniemary]

Nirac, I am so sorry for how you are feeling. It will be a year for me on Jan 13th. I too am having some tough moments with this season. It was not Mike's favorite holiday, he was not really into Christmas, but we still celetrated with family and friends. It is really hard to get into the spirit. I too am remembering last year at this time, and missing Michael so much. We always went to our friends Joe and Steve's on Christmas Eve, then on to midnight services at the Episcopal Church. It just won't be the same without him this year. There are some days lately that it seems harder for me also. I just miss him so very much, and still cannot wrap my mind around the fact he is gone. And yes, our lives have changed forever, we will never be the same person we were before. I think that is hard for our friends to understand, but I think unless they have walked in these particular shoes, they cannot understand. Prayers are with you for peace as we walk this road we did not want to take.

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

[wmjsca]

Nirac

I can sympathize with you. This will be my first Christmas without Clint and it has been totally void of any real feeling. I am observing it because of my young son and trying to make it special. Even he realizes the feeling just isn't the same. We went to a bereavement support group last evening and made holiday candles, which will now become a new tradition in our home to honor our lost loved one. It is unreal how the absence of a person can change life so drastically, but when I consider the loss of my true friend and partner, life will never be the same. As we move on through this painful journey, hopefully we will find peace. Take care.

[Nick]

Hi,

I too feel the same this is my second Christmas without my husband. Last year I was still numb, but this year I'm feeling the full effects of the reality. Seeing my two young sons happy and experiencing the joy of Christmas helps tremendously. I just wish I could stop with the oh that is so cute look at them then so sad oh Charles can't and will never experience this joy with his sons. I know he is watching from heaven looking after us and keeping us safe! You are correct no one can truly understand which doesn't make it any easier on us. I pray that the memories and love that we did share with our loved ones is felt this holiday season and brings us all great comfort.

[sunstreet]

Its been seven months since my love died. Idon't know who said it gets easier with time because for me I am finding it getting harder with time. and now christmas is coming and I just want to sleep thru it. If it weren't for the kids I probably would. This really effin sucks, The sadness physically hurts,I am so sad and can not get into the Christmas spirit at all....charlie loved Christmas, his favorite holiday ever, I cant help but think to this time last year and am so saddened by the way life has changed forever.

Nirac,

I am so sorry for the pain you are in now. I have been there too. It will be 7 years this Christmas Day that my wife suicided, and it is the first Christmas that I feel like observing. I too experienced it getting harder with time, and then I also felt it becoming a little easier with even more time. I agree the sadness on this journey physically hurts. I can not take away your pain but I can tell you that I care, I understand, and I offer you a hug.

Courage and Blessings, Carol Ann