2sweetgirls Posted December 31, 2010 Report Share Posted December 31, 2010 I have been having a particularly hard time these past couple of days. I just can't bear the fact that a new year is starting without mom and now dad. I feel myself moving further and further from myself. I am tired of putting on a face for everyone while I'm dying on the inside. What about me?! I am distant, at times, angry, deeply, deeply sad. My kids keep me busy and ,yes, laughing most of the time. My brother, on the other hand has no kids. He is trying just like me to muttle though but, I can hear the deep sadness in his voice. He is kind of your sterotypical man. He bottles up his feelings even though you can see it in his face and hear it in his voice. I have to say that he does speak about it when he is ready which seems to be when he is talking to me. We are holding on to each other for dear life. I try to be upbeat and positive for him. So, I smile and go on for my kids, my brother, people who don't want to or can't deal with my grief, etc.....It's exhausting. I can't stand the "it'll get better" saying. HOW?!!!! I just can't see it. Why can't I see it?!!! I want to desperately. Please put me out of my misery. At least something to strive for. But this better business is a bunch of crap. How can it possibly be better? Ever. Yesterday, my husband came home early from work and I just went into the bed and cried my eyes out. Anyway, just wanted to get it off my chest. Peace to all. 2sweetgirls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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