Not Having A Good Day/my Children Are Mourning Also

[nanasbaby]

I know there are good and bad days on this journey..today is not a good day. I should not have even come to work. The school guidance counselor told me today how much my nine year old misses her Nana. She even wrote down all of the things she misses about her. It destroyed me. My mother loved the children as if they were her children instead of her grandchildren. She never missed any of their accomplishments. We take for granted all of the little things that you never know mean so much to a child. My mother watched Disney Channel with the girls and when they misbehaved or were not listening she would stand in front of the TV to get their attention. She teased them all the time and would go into the basement to exercise with them whenever we came over. These are things children love and apppreciate. Its hard to know that the children have been putting on a brave face.

I can tell my youngest is also very sad because she is fine until my father and sister come over. Then she gets quiet because its a reminder that Nana is no longer here....

Not a good day today at all.

[2sweetgirls]

I am sooooooo sorry that you are all having such a hard day. I have a 9 year old too. She pretty much puts on a brave face until her daddy comes to put her to bed (I am with the 2 year old). Then she lets it all out and opens up to him. She won't cry in front of me because I think she is protecting me and doesn't want to set me off too. Even though I tell her that no matter what she can talk to me ANYTIME.

I pray that you and your kids come through this hard time soon. It is a roller coaster of emotions and so hard for a child (and you too).

Peace to you and your precious kids. It's definitely a "process".

2sweetgirls

[nanasbaby]

Thank you 2SweetGirls. I have 3 sweet girls. Hope you are doing okay.

[MartyT]

Dear Ones, of course your children are mourning also, and you are most welcome to explore some of the many resources I have listed on the Child, Adolescent Grief page of my Grief Healing Web site. In addition, you might consider finding some of the wonderful books that are written especially for children whose family member has died. Reading such books with your children can be a very effective way to open up the subject with them, and help them better understand the difficult concepts of dying and death. Your local librarian or bookseller can help you find a vast assortment of stories and books written especially for children, many of which you'll find described and reviewed here: Books for Children and Those Who Love Them. You might also find this article helpful: Tips for Helping Children and Adolescents in Grief.

[nanasbaby]

Thank you so much MartyT for the resources. The school Guidance Counselor ia using a wonderful workbook. Im even thinking doing a little memorial service this weekend with just the four of us so they can express their feelings.

They did not attend the actual funeral because we thought it would be best for them to remember their grandmother the way she was before she got sick. They stayed at my parents house while we attended the service but they got to see all fo the relatives and friends when they dropped by later to pay their respects. So I think their own memorial service for their grandmother is in order.