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Anxiety And Anticipation


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It has been some weeks maybe even a month since I have been on this site. I lost my husband 23 months ago. I have more good days than bad but always the saddness. Tomorrow our Grandson will be born and the anxiety over it is killing me. I am grateful for his birth and know he will bring me joy but the thought of my husband not being there to experience the joy is turning it into fear of the experience. I am so so sad for him and for me and for my son and for my grandson that we will never know the joy of the experience he should have had with his Grandpa.

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I am sorry for the loss of your husband. I am sorry that the birth of your Grandson is giving rise for the pain to well up again. I am hoping that when you see your Grandson that the birth of his life that is about to begin offers you some Light.

I feel your pain and I will hold you in gentle thought and prayer.

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

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It has been some weeks maybe even a month since I have been on this site. I lost my husband 23 months ago. I have more good days than bad but always the saddness. Tomorrow our Grandson will be born and the anxiety over it is killing me. I am grateful for his birth and know he will bring me joy but the thought of my husband not being there to experience the joy is turning it into fear of the experience. I am so so sad for him and for me and for my son and for my grandson that we will never know the joy of the experience he should have had with his Grandpa.

Sharon,

My husband died on August 16,2010 and my only grandaughter had a beautiful baby boy on Dec.18, 2010. I can understand every feeling that you are having. I hated hearing He has already seen him in heaven and every other comment that was supposed to make me feel good. This was our first great grandchild and we were supposed to see him together but that just did not happen. The baby is beautiful and I love him dearly but sure wish his grandpa would have been here for this happy event.

Don't be afraid of your feelings, tears will come at the oddest times, just let them. and they sure will come when you hold the baby.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers, congratulations.

Darl

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think of it this way, maybe just maybe your husband was able to witness the birth. :) I hope you are enjoying your new little grandchild.

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Thanks for your comments. It was in fact one of those days where you experience such pain that you can not really enjoy the moment but I know there will be moments ahead that will bring me joy with my new Grandson. I have a Granddaughter age 2 1/2 and she talks about Grandpa all the time because she has pictures of them together and we talk to her about how much he loved her. I was sitting with her and my son in the Hospital Cafeteria waiting for them to give us the okay to go up and see my Grandson and I started crying, almost uncontrollably. My son, of course asked what was wrong and he shared with me how much he missed his Dad on this special day. At this point my Granddaughter looked upset and said "why are you sad Grandma?" In that instant I decided to say the truth and said "I am sad because Grandpa is not here with us". She said "But I am here with you Grandma"...........OMG what a lesson. She then jumped up and gave me a hug and gave me her new doll to hold. I had to leave temporarily because her tender heart made me cry even more. I really felt like my husband was saying that through her........enjoy them they are there in front of you to love.

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