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Lost My Fil

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Last Thursday evening my beloved "Papa" passed away. My daughter and her father were with him as he died. I was his DIL 34 years...when his son and I divorced just over ten years ago, he told me that didn't change anything with us, and it didn't. I loved that man so much...I used to go visit him in the assisted living facility, we'd have dinner and then play Cribbage, him always beating me. He was 91, almost 92, and his mind was still clear as a bell. He was always so appreciative of my visits, so happy to see me! Several times in the last week I've thought about dropping by to see him...only to remember.

On my birthdays he always called me up and sang me happy birthday...if I wasn't home, he'd sing into the answering machine. How am I going to survive my birthdays missing that call? How am I going to get through Christmas without buying him his chocolate covered cherries?

Tonight is the viewing and tomorrow the funeral. All week long I've been talking to family, it's been really tough. I'm glad he's out of his misery, as his kidney function was down to 13% in the only functioning kidney, he was truly miserable this last month. But oh God how I'm going to miss him. So many memories...

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