Grateful

[Kathryn Stone]

Just wanted to say thank you for this group! no one seems to understand (except my fiance's mother) how painful it was to lost my fiance to alcoholism 8/7/2010 he died on his 43rd birthday but because he was a person suffering with a disease that's not like cancer but had an element of choice in it (drinking) no on in my family wants to give me any support in my grief. They're just like throw yourself into your work you'll get over it yes it's been 8 months but it's just as hard... anyways I live in a small town in South Carolina there are no grief support groups unless I don't know about one at a church somewhere? Anyways I will stay in touch with this group finally a place where people aren't like "he's dead! get over it!"much obliged obituary below

HENRY Thomas G, died peacefully in his sleep on his 43rd birthday, Aug 7, 2010. Survivors include his Mother, Susan Daniel Henry, his brother, Daniel Henry, and his beloved special friend, Kathryn Stone. Tom was born and raised in Lexington, the city he loved. He was a graduate of Henry Clay High School and attended Transylvania University. He was loved dearly by many friends and everyone thrived on his love and compassion. Tom was a musician, a true talent, playing piano, composing for the piano, and playing guitar. He played from his heart and soul. He appreciated science fiction, especially Star Trek and the television series, The X-files. He was a member of Southern Hills United Methodist Church. A memorial service will be held at a later date. Memorial contributions are suggested to the Lexington Humane Society, 1600 Old Frankfort Pike, Lexington, KY 40508.

[Guest Nicholas]

I understand only too well - I lost my son to alcoholism also aged 43 on 29 December 2010. He had cirrhosis and his liver and other organs just couldn't take any more, he also had Hep B. The only consolation was that he was in a coma for the last few days and so hopefully didn't suffer; it was only for one ghastly day just before he slipped into the coma that he was very confused and distraught.

I miss him more than words can explain but couldn't stop him drinking.

Take care

Nicholas

[kayc]

I'm sorry you lost your fiance...there's no way to describe the pain you're in due to this loss and how they die doesn't change anything. I'm not so sure they do have a choice anyway, it's a sickness...if there were more choice or so easy to abstain, there'd be a lot fewer alcoholics (my dad and my MIL were alcoholics, both dead now). I'm sorry you aren't getting the familial support you needs, please continue to come here, we're all in this together.

[MartyT]

Kathryn, dear, I too am so very sorry for your loss, and you have our deepest sympathy. I'm so pleased to know that you've found your way to this safe and caring online community, and I know you will feel welcome here.

You say there are no "in person" grief support groups in your small town (that you know of) ~ You might try contacting your local mortuary to ask if they know of any bereavement services in your community. I don't know if there's a hospice agency near you, but that's another good source of support. I'd also suggest Al-Anon, as that group would be especially understanding of the loss you've endured.