Another Death And More Guilt

[plasticmary]

My dog, Astro, died today. He was somewhere between 13 and 15/16 years old. He's been with us for 13 years and was at least a year old when we adopted him. He's a 70 pound lab mix and, for the past month, he's been going downhill. We had him checked out at the vet and the only thing the vet thought was that he had arthritis. We've been giving him pain medication but it didn't always seem to work. Anyway, he's been having a lot of accidents in the house, so we started leaving him outside in the yard on days when he didn't go to the bathroom before we left for work. I came home at 4pm today and he was dead. I was going to come home during the day to check on the dogs but work got hectic and I couldn't make it out of there when I had planned. It was a really hot day and I am so worried that the heat was too much for him. He had water, of course, a bed and there is some shade but it was almost 90 out today. I don't know why I didn't think about the heat being too much. My husband was worried about him the other day after I had taken him on a walk. He thought his heart was beating weird and he told me he was afraid Astro wouldn't make it through the night. I mean, I know he has been just getting old. That was evident. But I feel so horrible that I didn't come home today. Why, why, why, on this day, did I stay gone so long? After my last dog died, I swore that I would do better by my remaining dogs but I'm so upset that Astro died alone, outside in the heat. I'm so upset with myself. I really loved him. He was an amazing, beautiful dog. There will never be another like him. Why am I so bad at the end of their lives? I'm so mad at myself and ashamed and depressed and sad, sad, sad.

[CJ Anderson]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss!!!

The hole that one has when they are gone is almost unbearable! I have to take issue you with the temp was NOT too hot to day! I actually had to call in my thirteen year old basset who LOVES to lay by the pool in the heatand my 6 yr old black collie who was just possessed by something in the bushes.

My Foxie girl actually tricked me to take her to the vet. I was out having breakfast while they looked her over, her heart just gave out! I KNOW that was her gift to me to get me to let go because she was ready. Everything that could be done for her had been done for her. With her choice to leave in that way, I didnt have to struggle with trying to bring her back/keep her alive. What a wonderful life she had with you~ I hope to memories of that will ease your heart but please know that it is ok to grieve her loss here for as long as it takes. What did you like to do with her? I love labs- they are so wonderful! Gentle Hugs!!!

[tychuck]

I lost my dog about 2 months ago, and I have to say that regardless of the cause of death it always comes with horrible guilt. I still ask myself if I did right by him. No matter how many times my family and friends have told me I did all I could do, the guilt still lingers. I miss him terribly and I'm quite sure part of me will always miss him. Please know that I and every other pet lover out there share your pain. Be strong, hugs.

[plasticmary]

Thank you CJ. I have to say that I would rather not have to make the decision to euthanize and I do feel that was a gift he gave me. It would just help me know that it wasn't too hot out there for him, so I appreciate you saying that. I wish there was a way for me to know for sure. He was such a great dog, so very, very, very good. It's just like him not to cause us trouble and pain and huge vet bills. I wish I had been here for him. I wish I had come home just a two hours earlier. Maybe I could have said goodbye. I didn't expect it today. Almost any other day, I would have been home before lunch. Why today? And I hope with all my heart he wasn't uncomfortable, but how will I know?

[plasticmary]

tychuck,

Thank you so much. It's a sad morning, waking up without my boy.

[kayc]

I'm sorry to hear you've gone through this again. Please try not to beat yourself up...work is just a fact of life, a necessary evil that we need to do to provide for our best friends, our pets. Sometimes when I leave Arlie in his pen, I tell him I have to go to work to buy him dog food and pay for our home (that he's master of) and I'll be back. I always tell him I'll be back and that I love him.

I'm sure your Astro knew that you loved him, it was just his time to go. And it may not have been the heat, it may have just been his day for his heart to give out.

(((hugs to you)))

Kay