Ever Wonder How The Earth Can Still Spin?

[Babypod]

Do you ever just stop and wonder how the things can just keep going on? How can the sun come up and make the day so beautiful? How can the purple clouds of sunset still warm the sky? How can the Earth still turn and life still go on? Ever go into a store and see all these happy busy people and wonder how can it be? My world is shattered. I am barely functioning - yet everyone just keeps moving on.

I don't know. It is just hard to be in a world without the joy of my Grandma. I just want to scream at the top of my lungs! I want everyone to cry with me. I want the clouds to pour down rain. I want the Earth to stop spinning on it's axis. I want everyone to stop and realize that this wonderful, loving, joyful, strong , courageous woman is no longer.

Today I just can't even grasp that she just isn't anymore. Her little songs. Her smile. Her laugh. Her beauty. How can it just no longer be. She can't just no longer be. . . How can I exist without her? How can I get up every morning and do it without her hear? Without the touch of her soft hands? Without the smell of her? Without the feel of her soft hair? How do I find a way to go on. . .

I was thinking of writing a book. Of writing the story of my Grandma. I don't want to forget anything - the good or the bad. I don't want to forget her strength, her love, her - well herness. I have to find a way to keep her alive in my children - and their children. People need to know that this great person lived. She was the greatest person I ever met in my life.

I don't know. It has been a bad day and I am sure this is just verbal diarrhea on the page. Just feel like I am suffocating - this pain is so unbearable. Miss you forever my beautiful Grandma

[Guest Nicholas]

Dear Babypod,

I know exactly how you feel and it so reminds me of the song so poignantly sung by the late, great Karen Carpenter, and, more recently, by my beloved Agnetha Faltskog (I am ABBA's biggest fan!): Why does my heart go on beating, why do these eyes of mine cry, don't they know it's the end of the world, it ended when I lost your love" (paraphrased somewhat but searchable on You Tube, I think it is called The End of the World, though it is actually about a relationship ending and so not entirely appropriate but the sentiment is similar as is the sadness).

I was lucky that, as an author, I was able to include my son in my first book, along with his photo, so writing a book is a good idea, there are lots of companies that offer limited print run publishing online. Or why not build a memorial website for all to see, much cheaper than publishing and more readily available worldwide and then you can add to it whenever?

Take care

Nicholas

This is Agnetha's version (hope You Tube links are permissible here):

[MartyT]

Nicholas, my dear, links to other resources are always permissible here ~ and strongly encouraged! We can use all the support we can find, and whenever you find something that you found helpful, please feel free to share it with the rest of us!

[Babypod]

That was a beautiful song. I will have to add that one to my playlist. Here is one that I really love - really reminds me of my Grandma - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTIfLTbKhhM

[Guest Nicholas]

If I posted links to all my favourite songs on You Tube, I'd be here forever! But that one, bearing in mind the heading of this thread, brought it instantly to mind.

If we think we are alone in grief, we are not: poor Agnetha is a virtual recluse these days having been traumatized by a stalker for years plus a couple of failed marriages behind her. But even sadder is the story of Frida (also of ABBA) - she always seems happy in public but tragically lost her daughter in a car crash and then her last husband, a German Prince, to cancer.

So none of us is immune to grief however rich and famous and however we appear on the outside.

Nicholas

[hello123]

Definitely agree with the world should stop! I hate summer coming around I feel liek it should always be miserable and rainy that only seems right! Doesnt seem right to be sunny and everyone keep being happy and going on!

[Babypod]

Hello123 - I am sorry for your loss. Your right - summer is hard to see. The world should be dark and cold - and here comes summer with the heat and the beauty.

Nicholas - you are an ABBA fan aren't you! No - the wealthy are not immune. Clark Gable died the day Carol Lombard died - his body just lived a few years longer. Famous people lose children and loved ones as well. Thank you for the song link - it was a great song. I will have to hunt down the Karen Carpenter version as well.

[BellaRosa]

Babypod, I completely agree! It should be constantly raining and dreary outside to match my mood. It's nice that summer's coming, but I hate it at the same time because the sunshine just seems so inappropriate.

I remember the day of my best friend's accident, almost 6 years ago. I was standing at her bedside in the ICU, not knowing whether she would live or die (she has lived paralyzed from the neck down ever since) and the sun was shining through the window. I distinctly remember standing there looking out of the window and wondering how it could possibly be a nice day when something so horrible had happened. I feel the same way now that the weather is getting nicer and I'm missing my mom.

Erin

[Guest Nicholas]

On the subject of Karen Carpenter, now that was another sad story - Rainy Days and Mondays and all that - I have read all the biographies about her plus seen the biopic (TV movie?). Unique voice, but another who could never find happiness. At least we have known happiness.

Goodbye to Love.

Nicholas