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Grief Is Different For Everyone


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Just wanted to say grief hits everyone differently.There is this guy at my job who lost his wife two weeks ago and I can clearly see he is trying to bury his grief. He has been going to happy hour get togethers and in my mind I think....he lost his wife to breast cancer, here he is trying to party.....clearly trying to bury his grief. It's been 2 years since my father passed away and I am not the same. The world expects you to get back on your feet and be who you were, but you are not. I simply don't understand. Grief is a long journey. Sometimes I think....do I really need to find myself? Who I am I now?

Losing a wife or husband is different than losing a father but it doesn't change the fact that it means losing loved one....... How do people do it?

I just needed to vent. You guys understand, you have been through it.

Thanks,

-L

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Dear L

Yes, we have all been through it and we are all choosing to invite our grief/pain into our lives and sit with it, work it, walk with it and grow through it. Our grief is a lifetime companion and to bury it does not mean it is not there. Your fellow at work may come around. He may be in shock or in a fog as it is only 2 weeks. Hopefully someone will be there for him if he chooses to deal with his loss. Mary

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Guest Nicholas

"The world expects you to get back on your feet and be who you were"; not all the world and certainly not friends who understand or others who have also lost a loved one.

Nicholas

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Actually grieve is one of the the many critical emotions we as humans share. It's the very feeling that makes us onein the same.I so enjoy reading stories on this website, it validates that hurt is hurt, pain is pain no matter what the source of it all is. It makes me feel that I am not alone in this grief. I am humbly grateful & thankyou w/all my heart. Afwah..

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"The world expects you to get back on your feet and be who you were"; not all the world and certainly not friends who understand or others who have also lost a loved one.

Nicholas

Dear Nicholas, I really get your comment. Losing my husband of 37 yr has been one of my most difficult challenges in my life. It seems almost impossible for anything to feel normal again.My computer skills are pretty bad, so I hope my comment gets back to you. God bless you and give you peace..afwah54..

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Dear L

You are right everyone goes through the grief different. It could be that he has a hard time going back to an empty house without his wife being there to great him. So instead he for right now has decided to stun the pain through the drink. But someday as Mary said he will crash and he will need the right help to get him through.

After my Pauline's mother passed in 1995, Dad move on right away. Got remarried about 1 1/2 years after to a woman who like to do the things her mother, liked to do. I know Pauline's mother and father would fight all the time. Even threw things at each other. I see with his new wife, the have a lot of arguments, just like before. Pauline and I always put things behind us when we went to bed. We had a true loving relationship. I think that this type of love is one of a kind. So when Pauline passed it has cut deep. I do have my plans and each day I work for my goal to become a nurse. If everything goes good. I should start school in a couple of weeks. I cannot wait. It is what God is calling me to do.

God Bless

Dwayne

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L,

You will find who you are eventually, probably whether you seek to or not. The man who is trying to bury his grief...it will be right there waiting for him when he comes to. My neighbor did that...she had a huge love relationship with her husband and when he suddenly died, she moved in with someone else TWO WEEKS LATER! I knew she was trying to avoid grief and for a time she seemed to. Her home sat empty with all of their belongings in it just like the day he died. She'd come up and get her mail and mow the lawn and check her answering machine, that's pretty much it. Then a few years later new man died. Suddenly she had to face not one death, but TWO! She had to clean out both homes, and all of the emotion double-whammied her. She sold both places and got a new place and today she lives alone and she's doing fairly well. I'm sure she misses them both, but to think you can avoid grief...no, it doesn't work like that.

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