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Coping Alone


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I have returned from my short break in Hampshire. The first day while waiting for the Coach to arrive was terrible as I saw I was completely alone and the other passengers had company - it was just myself without anyone. I almost felt like turning back and going home but went along with it. My first holiday alone without my husband since 9 months ago when he died from Lung cancer. I t got better the next day - saw 3 single women and I had lunch with them every evening at the hotel - I was so grateful otherwise I would have been stuck on my own feeling very miserable. Of course the last day was awful - my suitcase was lost and everyone had to wait for an hour before it turned up - it had been put on the wrong Coach.

I enjoyed visiting the nice places but I was on my own and felt sad. It is very hard to go through these things. The people i.e women who are widowed will not come with me on a break as they stick to their homes. There is nothing I can do even though I've tried my best to persuade them.

I have sad days when I think of the companionship and the good times we had on our holidays . I really do not like being alone. Having said that I have booked again for a weekend break on the Coach come November - a glutton for punishment. I know I have courage but I am sad and lonely nevertheless.

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  • 5 months later...

I still can't figure out how to go out for dinner with a girlfriend and have to pay my own way. I've been so used to having dinner with Moosey and he paid the tab. He didn't believe in tips so I covered that, but learning how much a nice meal costs is a whole new reality for me. Life as 1 instead of a couple is weird, strange, and uncomfortable. I keep running onto his Facebook page because they won't delete it unless I can provide a death certificate. I can't get a death certificate because we weren't married. We were trying to build a small business together. I keep getting mail for the business. To stop that means making our business inactive with the Secretary of State. That means a fee of $50. It sounds so small, but the action it takes is another step I have not been able to take. How do you go on as a couple of 1? Finding me in all of this is miserable. I need to identify me as me and move on from we. There is no we anymore. I went to my favorite burger place the other day. I used to stop by there, on my way home from work, and pick up something for him too. I found myself looking at their menu and trying to decide what to get, instead of automatically knowing what to get because I always ordered for him first. I have only me and 2 dogs to feed now. I'm still lost. Help me, Lord, help me to find me.

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Was the business in both of your names? Can you change it to you as the registered agent in your state? Did he have a will outlining provisions for the business so it could go on? That would complicate things, I don't envy you on that!

Do you have the password to his FB page so you could disable it? Or does he have a family member than can provide a copy of his death certificate?

I found one of the hardest things to do after my husband passed was to get groceries...we always did that together and he loved it! For a while my daughter did the shopping until I finally forced myself to amid tears.

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  • 1 month later...

I'm sorry for all of you. I am quite tired of this figuring out how to live alone stuff too. I had my share of that before we met and had no interest in going back to it. Eating alone. Shopping alone. Chores alone. #@$ near everything alone. Talking to my dog who needless to say looks at me patiently while I imagine him thinking "whatever." Thinking of some little inside joke we had but no one there any more to share it with. I so hate this.

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