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Cannot Stand It Without My Raleigh


kaanen

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I just cannot stand it without Raleigh, I miss him so badly it hurts soooo much, I just want him back which I know is irrational.

I cry at home,in the car, in the store...he was my baby and I cannot stand it.

At bedtime he always used to wait so patiently for me to put his blanket at the bottom of our bed, then he'd stand on the small stool my husband made for him, he had a problem sometimes with his back legs...and get comfy on the bed, I am waking up 4 or 5 times in the middle of the night and he is just not there, he would always snuggle with us, I feel very panicky when I wake up and sometimes have to get up and walk around then go back to bed, I hate my bedroom now and do not want to go to bed in there.

I feel as though Raleigh is still here sometimes and want to talk to him, I know it sounds crazy.

I always get so close to my dogs, they all have been so special to me, my buddy, Raleigh is gone, gone and is not coming back, it hurts so badly.

I keep seeing him looking so sad at the vets that last night, the vision is in my mind especially at night, the vet said he was scared and I cannot get that out of my mind.

I always wanted to know where my dogs go when they pass on, I do believe they are well somewhere but it is the not definitely knowing for sure that kills me, if only we knew...our Boxer before Raleigh was in a vivid dream one night, I will always say it was not a dream, like something I had never ever experienced before, he walked towards me out of a white light, my grandfather was on the right and as they got closer my grandfather walked out of the space and my Boxer Morrissey just stood there in front of me, I could actually feel and see my arms reach out to him, then he was gone and I woke up. I had grieved so badly for Morrissey too and I honestly feel my grandfather brought him to me to say...he's okay, he's with me, from that day I was more at peace.

I hope Raleigh comes to me one day in the same way.

Thanks for listening x

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Oh Hon, I know, it is so hard, I hate losing my pets, I get so attached to them. My Arlie is my "baby" now so I understand...if I lost him, I'd feel inconsolable too.

It is okay to talk to your dog...we have to have a way to reach out and connect with them somehow so however that is for you, you need that. I think sometimes dreams are sent to convey something to us, and it sounds like the one you experienced was a way of letting you know your last dog was safe with your grandpa looking after him. The experience sounds very similar to ones others have had with the death of a loved one. We need to know they're okay and we'll be with them again, and I think this was a way of letting you know that, and you can apply it to this dog too.

Have you ever heard of the Rainbow Bridge? Here is a link to it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcQvYh_3Atw

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  • 2 weeks later...

Dear Kaanen-

through my tears tonight, i read you letter on the loss of your pet raleigh - i so much identify with you. i lost my buffy - a toy poodle, three weeks ago, and i cry every time i think of her. i have to keep myself busy - i keep seeing her lying on the pillow sleeping as she was getting weaker and weaker from kidney failure. today i had to change my comforter and curtains in the bedroom because the other one reminded me of her. everywhere i look i think of her. because she was small i took her everywhere with me. i talked to her and she would just look at me - almost like she knew what i was saying. ive cried fromher loss more than any other loss in my life. i also have such guilt because i keep thinking that i did something to put her into kidney failure. she had heart disease and was taking lasix and enalipril, and a heart medication. however, i think that i should have done something more. the vet and i tried with tests, sub fluids, meds but she would not eat or drink for almost two weeks and it was time to end her suffering. of course, the decision to put her to sleep is so contrary to the love i had for her. i read this quote and it couldn't be truer- "love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation" Kahil Gibran

If any comfort, i do know how you feel. Reading your letter, was a comfort to me knowing that there are other people who know the love of a pet and how much

we miss them. in sympathy buffy13

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