Missing My Little Baby

[Maddies Mom]

My dog Maddie, my little long haired chihuaua, passed away suddenly on Tuesday, Nov. 1. I took her into the Vet for a dental cleaning, they ran her blood work, everything was fine and normal - about an hour into the procedure, she had a pulminary embolyzm and died. None of their efforts to revive her helped.

I keep telling myself that maybe God took her at a quiet moment because he knew if she had the embolyzm when she was home and I found her dead, it would be worse. I just cant make sense of it all.

She was almost 9 years old and was the love of my life. She had long black hair with salt & peppery markings. She went everywhere with me, including on my vacations. Everyone that knew her, loved her. She was the most gentle, loving and sweet soul you would ever want to meet. She was all about unconditional love. She brought me such joy and peace. I dont know how I am going to go on with out her, but I have to for the sake of my other dogs.

I do have five other dogs, please dont think "Oh well she has 5-other dogs she can love on" but what you dont understand is that she was the one who was my little baby. I love my other dogs very, very much and would be very upset to lose any of them. But this is the first dog I have lost in my adult life and I have never experienced this kind of pain. My husband and I do not have children of our own and these dogs are our children. Especially Maddie. She was my heart.

I hope that my posting can help someone else feeling the same way that I do.

-Tina E.

Gilbert, AZ

[MartyT]

My dear Tina,

I'm so very sorry to learn of the sudden, unexpected death of your beloved Maddie on Tuesday, and I can only imagine the shock and devastation you must be feeling now. Please know that here, in this special place of compassion and understanding, you are among kindred spirits, fellow animal lovers all, and here there is no need to explain or justify the very special attachment you have with your precious Maddie. Clearly this dog was your "heart dog," the special one that author Christine Davis (in her darling book, For Every Dog An Angel) refers to as your "forever dog."

Since you live in Gilbert, Arizona, I want to be sure you know about our Pet Grief Support Group that meets on the first Saturday of every month, from 9:00 to 10:30 a.m. at Hospice of the Valley in Phoenix. (For further information and directions, click on Pet Grief Support Service.)

You are most welcome to join us when our support group meets next, on this coming Saturday morning, November 5. You also have available to you our Pet Grief Support Service Helpline, at 602-995-5885. You can read more about these Services at Pet Grief Support Service. I also hope you will pay a long visit to my Grief Healing Web site, where you will find additional information, comfort and support.

You are not alone, Tina. In the midst of this terrible and tragic loss, you managed to find your way here, and I hope you'll take some comfort in knowing that there is help available to you. You need not travel this journey all by yourself.

Wishing you peace and healing,

Marty T

[mokie]

dear maddies mommy,

i just want to tell you i know EXACTLY how you feel and feel as though you can't go on. i just recently

lost my kitty companion of 22 years a week ago. she was so old. she had kidney disease and hyperthyroid and in her last days we think she had a stroke. we were expecting her to go but not like she did. we thought she would go into kidney failure and we would treat that and that would be it. about a week before we put her to sleep she was walking around with her head tilted. i took her to the vet and he said it could of been a couple of things but stroke being number one. we tried to treat it as an inner ear infection but then her leg started to swell up and by friday oct 28th her leg was doubled in size. we knew it was time to put her to sleep.

i don't know anything about a pulminary embolysm but the fact that she died unexpectedly is most tragic. i do believe things happen for reason and God has a plan for everything. my heart goes out to you and your other furbabies. i have 3 other cats and 2 dogs but smokey was my life. 6 years ago she had surgery to remove a mass from her liver. ever since then my life evolved around taking care of her ever need. i know my other cats and dogs have needs too but not like my mokie. she was so special. the grief of loosing her is unbearable. i find it hard to sleep, eat, consentrate. i have lost other cats and dogs in the past. each one i griefed for differently. for people to say...oh, it was just a dog or cat. or well, you have others to keep you company...have no idea. they are all different and special in their own way. and whether they are 9 years or 22 years doesn't make it any easier when they pass on.

having to get into a new routine after 22 years is very difficult. i would feed the other cats and dogs then tend to smokey. she was on several different meds. it has been so hard this past week. i know what your going through with your other kids and maddie isn't there.

i have found some comfort on petloss forums. i know about the petloss group meeting saturday but its still to soon to talk about my feelings to a bunch of strangers. i have a couple of friends that have lost pets in the past and know what the pain is. when my parents both died i didn't feel like this at all. i think its becasue with pets they give so much and don't ask for anything in return. unconditional love.

my other kids get all my attention now. it sure isn't the same without mokie though. but i want to take care of their needs now. 2 of my cats need checkups and vax's. they got put on the back burner you might say when smokey was here. my cats are indoor cats for the most part. we have a big pen in the back yard to put them in so they can be outside but not have run of the neighborhood. i have just been taking one day at a time with smokey gone. in time you will find it easier but it does take time.

[Guest Wendy]

Dear Tina,

I am recently dealing with the sudden death of our little long hair Chihuahua, Abner. He was a rescue dog that we had for only ten months. His owner never named him and left him outside all day, even on the coldest of days. Finally, a neighbor reported him to animal control and he was taken by Blue Dog Rescue here in Austin. His foster mom named him Abner. He was only four pounds then but we got him past five. He was cream color and his little tongue stuck out all the time. He was so sweet and became more endearing to us everytime we looked at him, knowing he lived four years neglected.

I had recently taken him to his vet for his shots and to talk about his teeth. His teeth were cleaned in March and he had to have at least five removed because of decay. His jaw bone was "eaten in two down the lower middle" because of bacteria in his mouth. Cleaning his teeth made his breath very fresh! He was already needing another cleaning and we talked about having that done this February and trying to fix his croocked little jaw again. Everything seemed fine for Abner until last Thursday, Dec. 8th. We had an "ice day" and school was cancelled. We all slept late and when waking up, my daughter was on the couch with little Abner all cuddled in a fleece muff. I took him from her to say good morning and cuddle and then my husband came over to give Abner a kiss too. Abner suddenly started bitting after him and got his lip. Sometimes Abner could get "testy" but he couldn't hurt because he had barely any teeth. My husband tapped Abner on the head saying, no. All of a sudden Abner was quiet and I realized he wasn't breathing. His heart was pounding so my husband did mouth to mouth. Abner just died. I was shaking and wanting it to be a dream we could turn back. The vet checked Abner over and found his heart and lungs good but that a blood vessel ruptured under his fontanell. There was nothing we could have done. He did not believe the "tap" did it and said, "If you asked me if it would have happened in the near future, probably, yes, but I can not say definitively." Abner was a bit more grumpy the evening before so we pray he may have had a headache and it was meant to be. Otherwise I can not see the reason. We had Abner for only 10 months and that was not long enough. I miss him tremedously. I was not prepared for losing him so suddenly and like that. We have a trip to Arizona on Monday and he was traveling with us. He was so easy to have around. I can understand your sorrow because I have it too . Abner was very special to me and it is hard for me realizing I will never be able to pick him up again.

Wendy

[Debora]

Dear Tina,

I understand how you feel! I just lost my dear sweet pomeranian, Sweetie, who was also my baby, and the first dog I've had pass away as an adult. But what really hurts is how she died...in my fountain in the back yard. I lost her Wednesday, January 4, 2006. My next door neighbors were quick to come over and help & console me. I've got a hole in my heart the size of Texas right now. Like you, I have other dogs, too. That helps a little, but they don't take the place of the pet you've lost. The amount of time we have with our pets is NEVER long enough. My precious pommie was abused stray found wondering the streets around Ft. Collins, CO by animal control.