Aquarius7 Posted August 20, 2013 Report Share Posted August 20, 2013 Well, I don't know if my story is archived or not. I lost my Mom in June of 2010. It was lung cancer and a horrible ordeal. She was my best friend of my entire life and knew me like nobody else ever. I am single but in a relationship (which has not been the same since my Mom passed away). I lived in her house and contributed and have a job. It was a big house and we had our space. My siblings and I had a big falling out after she passed away. They evicted me and wanted to sell the house. It was not quite paid off. I could not afford to buy them out. I begged them to not sell it and to possibly go in on it with me so I could still live there and they could have a place to stay when they are in town. But no. They sold it for a ridiculously low price, just to get rid of it. There is still bad blood. They are trying to reach out to me and I am now reciprocating reluctantly. Anyway, I now live in a small one bedroom apartment with my loving dog, who my Mom also loved dearly. I have a LOT to be thankful for and a lot is good. I am trying to rebuild my life and have had some great times that have been healing in the past 3 years. However, for the last few months I have been not wanting to get out of bed in the morning, having crying spells at any given time of the day or night and even suicidal thoughts (though I would not carry them out). I just feel sad every morning when I wake up and don't want to do anything. I am so depressed about the life I used to have and everywhere I go, there is a memory of the life that WAS! I feel so alone in the world other than my sweet and loving dog and feel such a feeling of abandonment. My dreams at night are telling me this too. I can't seem to find any help anywhere or anyone who wants to listen. The place who did hospice for my Mom has not been answered my calls in 2 years and I think my counseling sessions are over, as far as being free, which it seems they were for about 6 months. They don't send me any mailings anymore and have not answered my calls. The lady who I was seeing never calls me to see how I am doing anymore. I feel they abandoned me too. It has been 3 years and I feel I am NOT doing better. I feel trapped at times in this place and just want my old house back and a feeling of familiarity! I just feel I am not doing better and feel so alone. I cry a lot and just miss my Mom and Dad more than ever. Thanks for reading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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