arbitrator Posted September 30, 2013 Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 Seven years ago I started dating someone who was truly wonderful. She has severe adhd which kept the relationship from reaching its full potential (as well as her own) but I was willing to accept that since she is unlike anyone I've met before. It's been 7 months now since I last saw her. Her dad had been ill for some time and was admitted to hospice care this past spring. He died in late April, I didn't contact her at all for a full week afterward (except to offer my condolences) because I know that the first few days after a death are very busy (not to mention painful). When I did contact her again she answered "I just don't feel like doing anything right now, I'm sorry" (understandable). So I backed off again for a few days, then just one month after her dad's death two of her relatives were hospitalized on the same day with life threatening issues, then to top it all off a friend of hers was murdered just 3 days later. When I texted her again she told me "now is not the time for us to see each other". In the 3 months that followed I texted her most every day asking if she wanted to get together; the most common answer I got was simply "busy". If I texted her about anything else she didn't answer. Then one night at the beginning of this month I felt the need to text her saying "I miss you sooo much! :'-(" (which after reading other posts on here I now realize was a BIG mistake!) then I was dealt the blow. She answered "I didn't know how to tell you this but when Dad died I started going to church, met someone there and started dating him. I have a boyfriend now so we need to stop talking. I'll always be grateful we had each other but I liked you more as a friend." Let me tell you, those first few days afterward were pure HELL! I went for 30 hours straight without sleep, I drank Coke and Pepsi the whole next day to stay focused at work, and my doctor even called me in for an emergency session with a followup one week later (I'm in treatment for an anxiety disorder). I'm now at the point where I feel fine one minute then lousy the next; mornings are particularly bad for some reason. However, there is one thing I can be VERY thankful for.....this hasn't impaired my ability to function normally and independently. Many people including my doctor have told me that it's likely she'll come back, I just have to give her space. I know now that's EXACTLY what I should have been doing these past few months. One person even told me "Her head is spinning and she doesn't know what she's doing. No one will ever treat her as good as you did, so in time she'll start missing you". However, I'm not going to sit around and hold on to what could be false hope; I've already started looking for someone new. I would be lying though if I were to say that I'm not hoping she comes back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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