I miss my husband

[Cheryl]

I was very active on this site after my husband died in a motorcycle accident 7 years ago this August 25th. Fast forward now almost 7 years. I'm engaged to a wonderful man, my daughter is newly married and my son is leaving for college. I'm feeling so sad without any reason. I'm so blessed. A wonderful success story of hard work, perseverance, counseling and an awesome future. Yet today everything feels so hard. I miss my husband and the life we had planned. Yet I'm so happy to share a life with a man who adores me and I him. Maybe it's because he's traveling and I'm alone with my thoughts. No distractions. Even so I feel propelled to post here tonight. I hope I don't offend those who are in the throws of new grief. But tonight my grief feels so fresh and I hope someone may understand. I just miss him so much.

[KATPILOT]

Cheryl your sad because grief never ends. There will always be times when you remember. We move forward in life and finding new love is a wonderful thing for some just as finding a future without can be wonderful too. Neither will erase the memory and love you felt before and that is a good thing. I say embrace your future and hug your past. It's all part of who you were, who you are, and who you will be.

[kayc]

Cheryl,

Hi, and welcome back!  I'm glad to hear of all of your wonderful news, but so sorry to hear what you're going through right now.  Perhaps it feels like in your moving on with your life that you're leaving your husband behind and so you feel all these triggers.  The truth is, he died, you aren't deserting him, and you carry him with you even into your new life.  Feelings aren't always accurate judges of what's going on and they can be really hard to contend with.  Like Steve said, grief never ends.  Of course you miss your husband and the life you had planned.  It's been eleven years for me and I'm okay being alone but it wasn't always that way...and the truth is, no one was like George and I didn't meet anyone else that was right for me.  Some people do, I know some who have gone on to have really happy relationships a second time around, and I look forward to happy reports from you in the future.  It's just that in the meantime, you're being struck with memories and reminders...you'll get through them, and they'll undoubtedly hit again every now and then.  I hope your intended understands that, and knows what to expect and that it's nothing personal against him, it is just what it is: grief.  When you have a wonderful relationship, the love is forever, whether they die or not.  Your relationship with your new person will be unique and won't be the same as the one you had with your husband because he is a different person, but you can look forward to the discovery of all that it holds and all that the two of you make of it.  I like what Steve said: 

3 hours ago, KATPILOT said:

embrace your future and hug your past.

Good luck to you, Cheryl!  

And if you ever need to just talk or vent...we're still here.