enna

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About enna

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    wife
  • Date of Death
    May 25, 2012
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Hospice of the Valley - Phoenix

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Goodyear, AZ
  • Interests
    reading, meditating, being outdoors, PINNING, listening to eclectic music, watching old movies, volunteering, and doing my color pencil art
  1. I am so excited. Finally, we are beginning to recognize that grief is worthy of talking about it. Over the last months, there have been many books and articles being written about how we recognize and walk through our grief. My latest reads have been Francis Weller’s Wild Edge of Sorrow, Sharon Sandberg & Adam Grant’s book Option B, Sharon Salzberg’s latest book, Real Love, and finally today another book that to me is a must read by Dr. Joanne Cacciatore & Adam Grant titled Bearing the Unbearable that will arrive in my mailbox in a day or two. I have patiently waited weeks for it. I have spent years reading about grief and have found some very excellent teachers who spread their knowledge about grief to all of us who will open ourselves to it. I cannot begin to list all of these people here but my purpose is to express my belief that the more knowledgeable we become about this subject the more we are able to allow ourselves the gift of grieving. Today I wait for two things ~ one is for my book Bearing the Unbearable by Dr. Joanne Cacciatore & Adam Grant to arrive and the second is to hear what my cardiac doctor has to say about the results of my latest tests do to my heart failure. Please put this book Bearing the Unbearable out there for fellow grievers to read, Marty. I will write a recommendation as soon as I read it. I just know it will be one of those books I will read more than once.
  2. Just see it...
  3. The Unique Loneliness of Grief https://whatsyourgrief.com/unique-loneliness-grief/
  4. I am closing this chapter of my journey. I so appreciate those who supported me and I will keep the posts open for anyone who may want to read them.
  5. Yes, thank you, Steve, for putting into words what is often hard to do as we move through our grief. My idea is rather simple but I share it here ~ I like what you said about the tools we use as we mourn, Steve. I have found that the tools change as our grief does. I’ve also learned that we each move through our grief as we know how and not as someone directs us to. I have also learned that our grief will always be a part of us. How could it not? Whatever the definition we use depends on where we are in our grief. To me, the tools change as my grief changes. I have recently watched my youngest granddaughter eating her cheerios. Her little hands are her utensils as she reaches for whatever it is on her tray. As she gets older she will use a spoon or fork to eat. The tools change. It is the same when we are in grief. We start out reaching for whatever device will help us at the moment and as we do the work of grief we move on to other instruments. I guess the bottom line for me is that I’ll always be grieving but the tools I use change over the years. And as Marty says each tool box is unique.
  6. I am so celebrating with you, Laura. How perfect this came around Father's Day. I believe your dad is walking right beside you.
  7. It's so good to wake up to some positive news. Good for you Kay and Gin and everyone else who brings us good news during these rough times. I'm with Marg when it comes to seeing all the pictures we share. Let's all have a good weekend.
  8. Listening...
  9. As I continue to move forward on my journey I am taking another 'At-Home-Retreat' day ~ this is an opportunity for me to do something for me. I have been planning this for a few weeks now and decided that Thursday, the 15th will be the day I set aside the entire day to renew my soul. If interested in learning about my 'At-Home-Retreat' I have attached a PDF that I will be following. I am five years into my grief journey and I have found myself going down many different paths. It did not happen in the beginning but it is now. What seemed a dark and despairing time, in the beginning, is opening new hope for me today. The one thing that we learn on this grief journey is that it takes work. There is hope after loss. We are strong and resilient. Those early in their grief do not want to hear this right now but later you might want to know that after a storm comes a rainbow. I still journal today and always find something someone has written to encourage me to live the fullest I know how. AIL-Day-Long-Meditation-Retreats-At-Home-v1.0-1.pdf
  10. This touched my soul tonight... THE SPIRIT OF THE HEAVENS by Joyce Marie SheldonI am both the sound and the silenceI live in the roar of the ocean And the serenity of the placid lake I am the wisdom of the past And the hope of the future I am connected to all But stand alone and apart I am the music and the mindfulness I feel the pain of the lonely And the hunger of the poor I am the darkness of the night And the light of the dawn I am the cold of the winter And the warmth of the spring I am the breeze of the mountains And the dryness of the plains I am the breath of the newborn And the sighs of the dying I am the troubled and the carefree I am those who live with gold And those who live with need I am both the strong and the weak The hungry and the nourished I am those who walk alone And those who walk with many I am the words of a song And the movement of a dance I am the drummer The singer And player of the harp I am both the stranger and the friend Both the lover and the liar I am all men I am you I am Me I am everyone I AM
  11. Your heart breaks. Again. Even though you didn’t know it could. It didn’t break in a new place but on top of the old break. A break on top of a crack. Which can no longer be contained. Your heart breaks into billions of pieces. Scattered everywhere. The pieces are small, tiny. Never to be back together again. When a heartbreak happens inside a heart that has not had time to heal from the previous break it hurts like hell. It hurts like birth does. It twists and moves like a tornado. The floor can’t even feel good. But you lay there. Waiting for the twists to stop. For this new break to go away. But it hurts too much for it to be denied. You dance with it. On the floor. With some wine. Vodka. And some junk food even. But let’s find a new way to mend, shall we? I am going to show you something. When the pieces are scattered so far away from each other your heart is no longer just a heart. It is a heart of a God. Have you ever spent time thinking about the heart of a God? It knows the worst pain. It knows pain from many lifetimes. It roars in the darkness from the memory of all the heartbreaks. And when it roars its sound brings back all the scattered pieces. Hovering in mid-air about to start the mending process. When all the pieces remember how to come back together, they do so in unison. They find their way back to their place. And the heart is back together again. This heart is not your typical heart. This heart can take a lot of dismantling and mending. Infinite amounts. It’s unbreakable. This is the heart you have inside of you now. It may feel like it is made of steel but it isn’t. It’s made of love. It’s made of all the love you felt and lost. It is made of pure roar. And the time will come when your heart will love again. But this time you will remember that nothing can break you. Dismantle you. Destroy you. And wine, vodka, and junk food can’t put you together. Because you have the heart of a God roaring inside your chest looking for love. Many times. For infinity. For all the loves it's lost and all the loves still to loseWith a roaring heart, Christina
  12. You know me and chocolate, Marty. I can never get enough of it. I do like other desserts but chocolate stands alone.