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Grief Healing Discussion Groups


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About Clematis

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
  • Date of Death
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Hospice Compassus Sedona, AZ

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  • Your gender
  • Location (city, state)
    Sedona, AZ
  • Interests
    Lena (my therapy cat), Playing music (cello, ukulele, classical guitar, etc.), Watercolors, Ceramics, Flowers-growing and painting them

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  1. We met at the synagogue. She is actually the current president of the board and was being very careful about not stepping out of bounds, while I was cautious in my own way. So we knew and were watching each other with some interest from opposite sides of the synagogue for about a year and a half. After the pandemic got going we started talking on the phone a LOT and things progressed rather quickly.
  2. The most amazing development has occurred in my life. I have fallen in love and am getting married next Tuesday, June 23 around sunset. Due to the pandemic restrictions, it will be a tiny Jewish wedding on a patio of the house we now share, with only the two of us, the Rabbi and her husband, and a close friend who is a fabulous baker and cook as well as a photographer. His wife is a person who can do anything, and will serve as our matron of honor. My beloved is named Helen and she is the cat's meow. We have been floating in a lagoon of bliss, and the better we get to know each other the more
  3. Thank you. He was a wonderful person who touched the lives of a lot of people.
  4. I haven't been on the site for a while. It's been a brutal school year for work. Then, I went back to visit my sisters and attend a professional conference in February, and as soon as I was starting to get my feet back under me the world as we knew if dissolved and things seem in free fall. People are grieving things they never imagined a person could grieve, such as going to the grocery store and walking around anywhere you wanted in there. It seems to me that the world has turned into a pool of grief that surrounds everything and everyone. People are so immersed in grieving they don't even f
  5. Thank you. I have missed him already as he has declined from dementia, but now he really is gone. I have heard it said that eventually we will all know someone who has died of COVID-19. I thought it for me it would be likely to be someone I knew, but barely. To lose Herb like this is really painful, especially since he died alone and none of us could go to be with him at the end or even to be together afterwards. Everyone who loved Herb is alone or in their little groups scattered all over. I know that this is what is going on all over the world, but I never anticipated that it would hit so c
  6. Thank you. It really is a loss. Grief is strange. I haven't actually seen Herb in several years, and he left us gradually over a period that lasted for years, but somehow it was different when he was still living and breathing. Death is so final...
  7. Herb died last night. I'm not sure what to even call him. He was my Jewish father, the man who taught me what it meant to be culturally Jewish. He was my adopted and surrogate father, the man who was always there for me and the rest of the family, even in the days when I had minimal contact with my family of origin. Herb was amazing and it seemed like he knew everything and how to do anything. He taught physics at Occidental College in L.A. for many years, and before that taught all of the math and science courses at Deep Springs College, in Big Pine, CA, a two year college where students atte
  8. Oh yeah - Lena was quite the vocalist, from the very getgo, which is how she got her name. They were calling her Mena, which I thought was a terrible name, but they said that she answered to it. I figured that to name her after Lena Horne would be perfect for such a beautiful black feline as my furry darling. And she sure grew into her name as she went on from a YouTube star to the big screen. I later realized I could have named her anything and she would have figured it out quickly. How is your puppy doing? Can I see a picture?
  9. Now we're all slogging through this pandemic. It's so weird to wake up to a new world every morning. I'm guessing my dad is glad he doesn't have to deal with this. But what I hear from him is rather calming...I hear him telling me to be careful with my money, be careful on the ladder, watch out not to fall, etc. My roof was leaking and it was raining almost every day. The roofer came to patch it up in between storms and eventually really fixed it. The problem dated back to the HOA taking all of the tiles off the back half of my building and replacing it with a very poorly put together roof 10
  10. It is so sad to lose a beloved pet, and to lose one with whom you grew up with must be especially hard, because he was always there for you. I feel for you.
  11. It's hard to help children with grief, I think, because it's hard to know what they are thinking. I have added an LCSW license in Alaska to my repertoire and am counseling over the internet with students on the Bering Strait of Alaska. These kids have been through so much, sometimes it's hard to know what to think or say to help them. I sure hope I can help them, because they have been through so much and had so much loss. One of my students is nine and in the third grade. I saw him last Friday and he as full of plans for his beloved bunny rabbits - his two pets - and how he planned to bu
  12. That is really terrific, Kay!
  13. Kay, I am so happy to hear that you have a puppy and are enjoying him. No one will ever be able to replace our lost loved ones, but there are others with whom we can share our lives. I can't imagine ever losing Lena, but I know that I am likely to live longer than she. As much as I fear having to one day live without her, it is more unimaginable to contemplate living without a cat. I lived through fifteen pet-less years due to allergies and asthma that worsened through the years in a big polluted city. After moving to a place with clean air, I was ecstatic to find Lena and learn that I would b
  14. That is so sad! It is so hard to lose a pet, and that was so sudden! I feel for you.
  15. Awww...that is very sad. It is really hard to lose pets. They can be such fabulous friends, and it's really heart-wrenching to lose them. It's hard to not blame yourself or wonder what else you might have done. They just don't have a good way to tell us when something is wrong. Cats are even worse in this than dogs - they are masters al looking their best no matter how sick they are. Twelve years is a long time to have a friend and lose him...
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