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Rylee

I fell apart in Walmart today

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I am so embarrassed. I walked into Walmart today and just fell apart bawling when I saw those tin cans of popcorn. I am sure people were wondering what the heck was wrong with me but I couldn't help it. My mom loved those cans of popcorn so we'd buy the prettiest one we could find and give her one every year for Christmas. Knowing we aren't going to be able to watch her get excited and open her can of popcorn and chomp down on her favorite flavor (the caramel coated ones) makes me cry. My daughter told me today that she plans on buying one anyway and taking it and placing it on my mom's grave. My daughter is also having a difficult time and I'm doing the best I can to be a support for her but I'm finding myself just falling apart anyway. 

My baby brother has moved in with us for awhile and between the three of us (my daughter, my brother and I) we're all having emotional issues over my mom. We went to my mom and dad's graves (they are next to each other) and put a little Christmas tree between them. Then we sang the We Wish You A Merry Christmas song to them and my brother took hold of me and we just stood there crying together.  This is so hard on everyone this year.

I do appreciate all that you guys have said and support you've given me. Also, thank you for not being upset or feeling that I am not doing my part in this group to help others. Hopefully, as you have said there will come a time when I can be more a support to others here. 

Rylee

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Sorry to hear that your going thru a hard time as when I went into Walmart and into Albertson for the first week after losing Fuzzy our guinea pig it was so hard to  go to the store and not buy his treats as  I  had a real hard time with it that right on Nov 30 I had a melt down in my neighborhood and was bawling with freaking out the cleaning note .               

So many people think that means a kick out risk note . I think it was mostly because I don't have anyone to share with . That my emotions  got to me as Fuzzy was my calm down piggy when I was upset  so I think it all got so overwhelmed that my bubble burst big time from not shopping fo fuzzy, to not have him comfort me, to not have him relax me when I got the cleaning note along with not being able to hear his greeting as it may me feel like I was a  nut case but it wasn't even two weeks after his passing .

So I say it's pretty normal so many times I think  we get overwhelmed with so many emotions from memories that we have had.

  I know many times these memories will seem sad at the beginning but as you will look back  next year it may turn out to be a memory of love to remember her like that as that memory will make you smile down the road .

As, my Uncle Rainbow also known as Uncle Tom who passed away on May 7 2015 . Oh what a swell guy he was such a charming guy flirting with so many girls quite a ladies man, even a joke when he went into a room that would make people light up  

He was also there being my labor support when I gave birth to my son in 2004 and when the August 2015  I was sad that I wasn't going to hear him say to my son I was there when you  were born as he loved saying that .   Then when it got to August 2016  and even now it makes me enjoy that memory because it is such a sweet memory.

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Rylee,

A few months after my mom died, I walked into the grocery store and saw some knit gloves and I fell apart.  I used to always buy them for her because she was always cold and she always lost them.  I wanted so much to buy her another pair.  I can totally relate to how you're feeling.

Sometimes the weirdest thing springs out of nowhere to trigger us.  It seems to lessen in frequency with time but can still happen.  I've learned to just let it.
(((hugs)))

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