Jump to content
MartyT

Older Cat Dies Following Rabies Vaccination

Recommended Posts

Dearest Monica,

The fact that you got on here just to wish us all season's greetings is laudable, when you're not doing so well! Despite how it must feel for you currently, I see that as a sign of a courageous and strong spirit, and I have hope for your personal healing journey.

Kay is right...it's tough, especially during these "happy" holidays (oh, the societal pressure to conform! :o), and life is often overwhelmingly difficult, making even mere "coping" seem like an impossible pipe dream. Building a practice of gratitude is helpful in the long run though, even if you only feel fleeting snippets of thankfulness in any given day. They can eventually have a more cumulative effect the more they are cultivated. I recently heard of another way of helping that process along, which I'll share here in hopes it might help. If you are mindful of catching yourself in the act of feeling grateful for whatever (it can be anything, even seemingly inconsequential things), try to hold onto that feeling and "steep" in it for just 10 seconds each time. It's a pretty simple technique, but can have good benefits to your state of mind over time. As always, the trick is to remember to try doing it! :wacko:

I'm still finding Christmas challenging, too. Some new issues, and some old, like still missing my kidlets, and even other cat friends who are no longer here. I hope to pay my annual visit to our old neighbours at their new home across town, in order to see the 2 catties (plus their new addition, who could care less about us! :lol:) I'd developed a deep relationship with over ~7 years' time. It's a commitment I've made to them, to visit bi-annually, regardless of what their people think; they know I come mainly to see their cats, and that annoys them, even though we end up mainly visiting with them, and bring little gifts for them, too. (and this year, I have NOTHING for anyone, I've been so exhausted by life!) I'm getting resistance on this from my husband this year, though, which is triggering a whole lot of related, nasty feelings within me. It seems "commitment" is a foreign word for a lot of people these days! 

So I'm finding I'm having to remind myself a LOT to incorporate gratitude for this or that little thing left in my life. I've also committed to doing a free inner healing mini-program held over the last 10 days, as well as another new mindfulness technique, and have been focusing on what fewer holiday preparations I decided upon this year, to replace the many distressing feelings with slightly better ones. Often, that's all we can do, but it's always a start to rewiring our brains, and it helps, cumulatively.

So you're not entirely alone in feeling lousy, just so you know. I, too, sincerely hope you can find even a smidgen of reprieve from your sorrows, and some brighter notes here and there to tide you over during the holidays. I'll be thinking of you, Monica. 🤗🤗🤗 As the funnier Christmas cards out there say, shall we just say, "have a holiday"??? 😏 🌲

________________________________________________________________

And Kay, we're in much the same boat, weather-wise!  We just got over a foot of snow yesterday, too, and spent hours cleaning up...which I paid for as well with my chronic (unexplained) muscular aches and pains in 2 areas. I would have been JUST FINE with a brown Christmas instead! And like your location, more snow is expected, along with a deep-freeze cooling trend, making the drive to the chiropractor's before holidays nice and stressful! :rolleyes:

I also have new and unwelcome dietary lifestyle changes I'm decidedly unhappy with for very personal reasons, hence having to re-make my traditional, big-batch winter staples in time for holiday dinners into versions I can actually eat...in order to hang onto some semblance of my "comfort" foods. These restrictions are most likely to get even worse if/when I can find a Functional Medicine doc for myself, but if I want to try and reverse my disease, I'll have to make whatever changes are necessary, dietary and otherwise. Sigh...too much on my "plate" all at once, so one small step at a time, just like grief.

I'll ask the weather angels to DELETE that freezing rain for you so you can see your grandkids! But if that doesn't work, I wish for you and your remaining furbabies lots of cozy cuddle-times and expansive love to fill all your souls to the brim! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear Kayc,

Thank you so very much for your wonderful and wise message to me!! Your words are my Christmas gift 💝 and I thank you immensely for them!!

Yes, I am writing a letter to My Precious Beloved Daughter, My Baby Pearl!! I’m still working on it, I don’t manage to write so often, I cry, I shake, I freeze. But I will complete it, some day.

I hope today you can just relax and put some pillows so you can rest your feet - I hope the carpal tunnel pain goes away as fast as possible!!

it is comforting to know you won’t be driving in freezing rain - you are absolutely right not to do that - it is extremely dangerous. I know you will miss your grandkids, but all of us - them and I - prefer that you be safe and warm at home 🏡  - you will not be alone. - I do believe in my heart that your Husband will come down from Heaven and he will hold you in his arms while you are sleeping and you will wake up with a wonderful feeling of joy in your beautiful heart. Kayc, I like to think that - I think that, while I’m sleeping, my dad and my grandparents come down from Heaven to hug me and kiss my forehead. Since they have moved to Heaven I like to hold that thought in my heart - it makes me feel less lonely. And you will also have the wonderful company of your Dog 🐶 and your Cat 🐱 - these Little Ones will also be extremely glad and grateful for the fact that their Mommy will not be driving under dangerous circumstances (freezing rain), she will be with them - in a cozy and warm home 🏡, surrounded by Love ❤️ 💞💖💓!

KayC, I am deeply sorry for the fact that you lost your Husband só soon 😢! I really do NOT understand why sad things happen to such a wonderful person - you! But I have learned that Love is forever and eternal in our hearts!!

i have my husband with me - I do love him, but I am lonely, I feel alone, even though I’m married to him. I feel this way not only on Christmas, but on every single day of any year and my Cats “ feel” my loneliness and the way he treats me - My Baby Pearl is the one who felt it even more, the rudeness, the behavior and the way he treats me  - she is and will always be my Angel. She was constantly by my side, around me. I believe him when he says it is just a phase (the heavy daily drinking), I do hope he stops drinking this way. But, unfortunately, he is an alcoholic and dealing with the mood swings is not easy. The cleaning (bathroom) and picking up cans are the easiest part. He says he will stop drinking when he wants to, not because I beg him to. I do hope he stops drinking, or at least reduces the amount , for the sake of his health. 

KayC, I feel and am more alone than you can imagine - I am growing old alone, although I have his physical presence, but I don’t have, I don’t receive love or kindness from him. It hurts. But I have made peace with that. He says im his caretaker and his designated driver. But, more than that, I’m really his friend. I do try to help him, every day! I don’t want to brag, but I’m a very good maid, who is constantly cleaning!

Dear KayC, I hope on Christmas Day, and every day, you feel all the love I’m sending your way - you are not alone!! You have your beloved Husband (forever in your heart), your Precious 🐶, your Precious Cat 🐱 by your side and the love of your children and grandchildren!!

Thank you for your kindness to me, KayC!!

Lots of Love, hugs and kisses,

monica

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear Maylissa,

I saw you sent me a beautiful message, as usual!! Thank you so much!! I couldn’t read it entirely because when I was finishing typing my answer to Kayc, my husband just returned from the shop, he took the car to be fixed. I won’t be able to answer you now, but I will be back here tomorrow, he will pick up his son at the airport, so I will send you an answer tomorrow.

For now, please know I’m very grateful you sent me a message!!

ill write to you tomorrow!!

xoxo, monica 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Monica,

I'm sorry to hear you feel so alone even though married, I felt like that in my marriage to my kids' dad, 23 years, I only felt loved by George and I was so happy to have him and then he was gone and everything in my world changed.  I don't hear from my daughter, and my son is busy raising his family, 2 1/2 hours away but it feels further because of the wintry roads and I can't drive at night, can't bring my dog, makes it very hard to go there this time of year and they don't come here.  My grands are 2 1/2 and 9 months, I miss them so much!  I fear the little one doesn't even know me.  I wish their parents would meet me halfway sometimes.

I like what you said about our loved ones visiting us in the night, I'll have to keep that in mind on Christmas Eve.  Take care!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear Maylissa,

Im back now and I will answer your message!! By the way, I thank you for your message!! 

Thank you for sharing that technique about gratitude - I will do that more often!! ( as much as I remember to do that 😜)!

Awwwww, I think it is soooooo beautiful that you visit the Kitties 🐱😻😺😻!!! Those people should be so grateful and happy for the fact that you care enough to do that!!! They should learn from your kindness and generosity!! I am pretty sure the Babies 🐱😻🐱😻Love it when you visit them!!! And all they care about is your loving presence- that is THE gift!!! 

Maylissa, you are soooo right again!! We DO have to rewrite our brains!!! 

Awww, thank you so much for saying I’m not alone for feeling lousy (I thought I was the only creature on Earth 🌏 that is not excited about festivities). It is exactly what you mentioned- the pressure from society! 😫

i thank you so very much for your wonderful wishes!! I’ll be thinking of you, as well!!

 Thank you so much 😊!! 

Love ❤️ , health and joy!!

monica

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear Kayc,

 I became so sad to hear you felt the way I feel (lonely) with your first husband 😔, and then you found 💕 love, but he moved back to Heaven 😪 so soon!! This is 😞 so sad .

I wish your children could see the wonderful person you are and enjoy your company more often!! These things are heart breaking 💔💔!! I wish I had the power to change that!! Unfortunately, Kayc, they have no idea that they are missing out the great opportunity to be in your life and the kiddos are missing out because they are not being able to enjoy granda’s love ❤️ and attention! But I have hope they will change - I hope they feel something missing from their lives , and this “something “ is your caring and loving presence!!

Yes, I believe our Loves visit us in our sleep 😴!! 

I want you to know that I will be thinking about you and sending you lots of love 💗, and wishes of health and joy!! Speaking about health, I hope you had the opportunity to rest after having shoveled all the snow ❄️ and I hope your arm/hand are not hurting anymore (carpal tunnel)!! 

Also, please kindly tell your Dog 🐶 and your Cat 🐱 I also send them love 💕, health and joy!!

I wish you a lovely evening!!

monica 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wishing you peace and comfort in your grief.  I know how hard the "missing them" is!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Monica, I'm so very sorry you are going through this with your husband. I truly do understand the extra loneliness you feel now that Baby Pearl is not there to buffer the horrible effects from your spouse's sorry behaviour towards you. And I understand fully that feeling of being alone even though your partner is physically present. It's daily torture, really, and is one of the very common effects of not receiving emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual connection and support from loved ones who are afflicted with mental health conditions. Some of my abusive family members were addicted to alcohol too, as was my first, also very abusive, husband. But the addiction to alcohol is often just another avoidance technique for someone who already has an unhealthy mental state and dysfunctional pattern of relating to others. But if truly alcoholic, there is no "cutting down" on drinking. They must stop it entirely and forever, and for that, they most likely need their own support group, such as Alcoholics Anonymous/A.A.

Have you ever thought of attending Al-Anon or CODA self-help groups for yourself, or maybe looking for an online support group strictly for spouses of alcoholics? At the very least, you might make some friends or contacts who could provide you support and tools for dealing with that heavy load.

It's good you're in the midst of writing a letter to your baby girl, and no matter how long it takes you I'm sure that will be quite cathartic. I did some of those myself, for each of my furchildren, and it took me awhile to tackle those, too. You might also want to consider adding a Christmas memorial ritual for your girl, in private, away from your spouse. I have done those every year, and only included my husband the first year. But when I saw he was just "humoring" me, and not emotionally connected to this ritual, I did them by myself, just asking him to go elsewhere until I was done. Yes, it feels more lonely that way, but at least it's more peaceful than seeing boredom, insensitivity and lack of shared sorrow on your spouse's face. :mellow:

I know it's hard, but at least the "big day" will be done and gone for another year, in 2 days. And I hope, regardless, that you can have some fun with your other babies, and their gifts, if they get those. May you find some PEACE and even joy, in such moments.

Big hugs!!!

Maylissa

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear Maylissa,

thank you very very much for your message and for mentioning the support group!!!!! Thank you so much!!!!!

 I love the idea of the Christmas memorial - thank you for this wonderful suggestion!! 

Sorry I’m not writing a long message, but I do want you to know that I am very, very grateful for your kindness and the fact that you shared it with me!! I can’t thank you enough!!

xoxo,

monica

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maylissa,

Your suggestions are so apt, and what I have suggested to my own daughter, whose alcoholic husband left her and now wants to reunited.  Unless we learn a new way, we'll get the same results, and AA and Al-anon are such needed and helpful organizations whose teaching have helped countless souls.

Have a Merry Christmas Monica and Maylissa!  And whatever you do in the form of a memorial, Monica, may it bring you peace and comfort as your kitty looks on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear KayC,

thank you so very much for your words!!

My Precious Baby Pearl is forever and ever in my heart!! I pray she is happy and healthy and that her new family loves her unconditionally and that they are smarter than me, when it comes to her health!!

i wish you, not only today, but specially today, much love and blessings!!

monica

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×