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R.Everit55

I miss my grandchildren

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This brings tears to my eyes, it's so hard to believe, no way to understand any of this.  (((hugs)))

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I feel like my heart is in a million pieces.  I wish I could feel them with me.  

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Butch, my dear, our hearts hurt for you, and I wish we could do something to offer you the respite you need and deserve. I don't know if you've ever explored the writings I've posted about After-Death Communication, but if you're able to concentrate, you may find that reading an article or a book or two on this topic may give you some comfort.

Here are the links, just in case you might be interested:

After Death Communication

After Death Communication: A List of Resources

After Death Communication, Continued

 

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For my grandchildren.  I've loved you your whole life. Now I'm going to spend the rest of mine loving you and missing you. You shall live on in my heart. Never to be forgotten.  😢

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Losing children is unspeakably gut wrenching.  One wonders how to go on.  It’s unnatural to lose a child.  I’ve lost four grandchildren.  I have two left.  They are my reason for even getting up and breathing daily.  But I just am so broken.  😢

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Oh Butch, I know.  I felt that way when my daughter lost her baby...I found out the day my son's son was born, it stole the thunder.  It's not just that she lost her baby but her husband left her so it means she's unlikely to ever have children and I know her heartbreak...she was born to be a mother.  :(

I lost my three year old nephew and years later my nearly two year old niece.  You're right, it IS unnatural.  Such innocent little lives, it's just wrong.

I can feel your brokenness and my heart bleeds for you.  I can't imagine how hard this must be for you.

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Gracie was still a baby.  Full of hope and peace.  How to make sense of her loss is impossible.  Noah was 12.  The epitome of strength.  Still there’s no making sense.  My heart breaks daily. 

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There IS no making sense of it.  When my mom died, she was 92, had lived a good life, had dementia and leukemia and death came as a blessing...she wanted to go.  She'd wasted away down to 60+ lbs and they wouldn't let her walk anymore because of her falls, it was no kind of a life.  Her death was a relief in a sense, but that doesn't mean the finality didn't hit, I still grieved, I still miss her.  My relief was for her being out of her suffering.  But when you have a child that dies, that's a whole different ballgame.  It is just plain devastating and we can't understand anything about it.  I imagine we'll have some questions when we get up there, but then again, by that time it'll be a moot point...we'll be too busy celebrating our glad reunion!

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This was my angel girl gone way too soon.  And the black and white is my latest grandson who resembles Gracie so much. I miss my girl so much   💔.  And I miss my big boy Noah   8A3DB852-B9FD-43C4-9A51-0F72ED3A0C1D.thumb.jpeg.4ca40635d0e2f82a7628828b60bc1677.jpeg516B76B8-F40E-4F84-9B4A-7E8BB2BDDF91.thumb.jpeg.dea60c23cd540b1cc125c0eefbe4354c.jpeg 

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He really does, Butch.  The eye color is different, but the nose, the mouth, they do remind me of her.  She sure adored her grandpa!

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My dear Butch,

I know you can't read this right now but I want you to know my heart is with you as you're in the hospital and getting help for your grief/loss.  I don't know what to say, I'm at a loss, losing your wife and four grandchildren feels like too much, I know that, and you are feeling it.  The only thing I would know to do is try to focus on the two grandchildren you have left and look forward to being with the others once again when your time has come to join them.  But that time has not come yet.  You are afraid of losing the ones you have left, I can understand that, but try so hard to accept today as a gift with which you can enjoy them, and try not to look past today.  I do that every day.  Grief affects us in so many ways, and one of those ways is fear of more loss, but we don't want to let it paralyze us so that we can't enjoy today.  We have to choose to be in today.  We can still see their smiles in their pictures and remember times that we've been together, and of course that will bring tears...but try to balance it with being present with the ones who are left here.  It takes effort, oh God, so much effort, and it can leave us exhausted, hopefully exhausted enough that we can sleep, for we need that.  Beyond that, I have no words except I care for you very much and hold you in my heart.  

I hope you can soon come home and spend time with your grands and your son Allen and daughter-in-law.  (((hugs)))

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