jrm

Let the tears flow anytime anywhere that's my motto. I no longer get embarrassed when I cry in public. I just wipe my eyes and realize it's a memory I've just thought about and then I smile.

Well tomorrow is our 41st anniversary. Duke has been gone 3 months this week. Thanks to this forum I have planned for tomorrow. I shoppped today for the flowers I know he would bring me and have bought flowers for him and tomorrow a.m. I will make up the bouquet and lay them on his grave. Our card is bought and sitting on the table with the flowers and a picture of us. I will wake tomorrow to see all on the table, starting my day off with the many memories we have made together. I have the candle ready to light in the evening. Please all wish us a happy anniversary. I'm going to try to send a pic I took. Thanks. Jrm

I sat there in his closet last night on a tote still filled with summer clothes and hugged his harleyh shirts and cried. The tears just kept flowing. Duke died on 7/8/09 from injuries from a motorcycle accident 12 miles from home. We have been riding all over the country since 1982 and never had an accident. We had great 16 day trips to Michigan and Wisconsion, Blue Ridge Mts., Outer Banks NC, South Dakota, the Keys, He always kept us safe, me on the back. I am trying to heal my physical injuries, broken L tibia, fxs. T8, T9, subarachnoid hemorrahages, multiple bruising and road rash but he kept me safe. We were hit by a 22 yr old who was texting. I'm trying so hard to stay sane.

Whatever possessed me. Only 2 1/2 months have gone by since Duke's passing. Some days I think I'm dealing fine, though I still cry a lot. Today I came home after physical therapy and I have a whole closet full of clothes already outgrown by our beautiful first grandchild, Danica, 20 months. Thought maybe I might wash them up and bring them to the local consignment shop. Also in the closet were a lot of Duke's police uniforms and dress clothes. After going through Danica's section, I started through Duke's, then to our bedroom into his closet. What a mistake. Though I just reorganized, very little to Goodwill, just touching his Harley shirts, and hunting shirts brought on the TEARS.....it gets worse. He had a small plastic tote where I always stashed his STUFF cleaning out his dresser drawers..he was a paper saver and he had STUFF...going through old wallets..pics of the kids..my picture taken when we announced our engagement...the newspaper articles about 2 of his best friends who died in 1976..tattered and torn from being in his wallet...well I know some of you may have experienced this but having really no intention to do this yet, I urge you to be ready.. I wasn't and now I feel so out of control.

Susie, I know how unorganized your thoughts are now. I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Having been unprepared for my husband's sudden death I know exactly how you feel. It will be 3 months next week along with our 41st anniversary and his 66th birthday (3 months gonethat day) We were in a motorcycle accident so I am also dealing with physical healing. All I can say is take the one day at a time for you. It's your time to heal. Do what you can each day. Sometimes make a plan to pamper yourself, i.e. soaking in the tub with an aroma candle, doing your nails, trying a new hairstyle. Something to make YOU feel good. We all have a long road ahead of us and our losses are all so painful. It's okay to cry. It's okay to feel sad. It's okay to be alone. Please try to smile at something throughout the day. God Bless

I just joined this forum yesterday and already I feel a need to communicate. Your loss is even newer than mine. I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost Duke 7/8/09. We were on our motorcycle and a car hit us. Duke had a severe leg injury but made it through the operation but a day later a blood clot lodged in his heart. I have been trying to heal both my heart and my body I had a broken tibia, fractures of my spine T8, T9, subarachnoid hemorrage, and numerous bruising and road rash. I hope you remain to be strong and we will both move forward with the help on this group.

Thank you for your idea about lighting a candle next week for our 41st anniversary and Duke's 66th birthday. It will be 3 months since his death on his 66th birthday. Wow. Well I was soaking in the tub tonight when I looked up. There on the shelf was a purple candle with a label "LOVE" The candle has sat on top of that shelf for at least 3 years but I never lit it. I've found the candle for next week and look forward at least to that.

thank you everyone. when I found this site I thought "Oh well, at least I wrote my thoughts down. Never expecting such response and support. Looks like I'll be around here for a while. Next week will be our 41st anniversary and his 66th birthday all in one week. Don't know how I'll cope. He was my very very best friend.

I lost my husband on 7/8/09. We were both involved in a motorcycle accident. I had a broken tibia, 2 compression fractures of T8 T9, subarachnoid hemmorage and numberous road rash on. My husband had a severe leg fracture. Though he came through operation okay and I was told we would both be okay, he developed a blood clot to his heart and died. Yep, shock, trying to heal my body, dealing with financial stuff, and dealing with non-compassionate sister'in laws, and overgrief stricken sons and daughter in law. I'm stressed.