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About KarenK

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    Advanced Member

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  • Your gender
  • Location (city, state)
  • Interests
    Outdoor Adventure,
    Native American Culture,
    Watching Movies

Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    May 5, 2013
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Hospice Of The Valley, Phoenix, Az.

Recent Profile Visitors

1,961 profile views
  1. Gwen, Are you still on the oxygen full time? I'm sorry, but I don't get the shortness of breath being caused by the cessation of smoking. What's the point of giving up smoking? It's like the pills doctors give everyone for various ailments that then require other pills to counter the side effects of the first pills. Just a vicious merry-go-round. I get short of breath if I walk very fast or far or when cleaning house. I chalk it up to the COPD. Do you have a handicap plate or tag for your car? I have one because of the COPD. They are a blessing for parking. Hope you are having a better evening
  2. Marita, Kachinas are hand carved Native American dolls created by the Hopi, Navajo, and Zuni craftsmen. Each one is unique and carved to represent an animal such as wolf or owl or immortal beings such as Corn Mother or Sun God, for example. They are said to be messengers between us and the spirit world. Not sure if any other tribes do this work, but the Hopi craftsman do the finest and most expensive ones here in Arizona. The Hopi reservation is a tiny one and sits smack dab in the middle of the large Navajo reservation. Not sure how that came about. All my Kachinas are Hopi which I purchased from the craftsman. Used to have 30 of them, but had to sell many so am down to a dozen. They are carved from the Cottonwood root and stand an average of 8" to 20" high, although the size is limited only by the artist. Somewhere around this messy house, I have a book about them which I will gladly send to you if I can find it. Living in Arizona for over 60 years, I have collected a lot of Native American pottery and hand painted drums, along with the Kachinas. I treasure each piece. Your Kachina De Chelly was beautiful. I'm so sorry it was necessary to let her go. Canyon De Chelly is in northern Arizona. I hiked it once as a teenager in the summer with a church group. Beautiful, but remember it was a tough hike because the youth leaders didn't bring water and it was hot and dusty.
  3. Dang! Kay, My trips to anywhere I normally roam take about 10 minutes. Living in the big city does have a few advantages, just not the beauty that you have. For years and years, we had a big tree and I decorated every nook and cranny in the family room and kitchen. Used to move all the Kachinas and collectibles into the living room(which we never used) to clear space for the decorations. Can't do that now because that room is my son's bedroom. My poor house is 1500 sq. ft. of "stuff". My grandson's bedroom is Ron's old gun room, barely enough room for a bed and chest of drawers. The spare bedroom is crammed full of camping stuff, Christmas boxes and Robert's boxes from his move. Even if I had the energy or desire to decorate more, I couldn't. I think as time passes by, I just "honor" Christmas rather than "celebrating" it. Just can't bring myself to celebrate much of anything.
  4. Trying to be a little less grinchy this year, in between trips to the dentist. Have managed to keep the 3 bottom front very loose teeth along with the 4th broken one in my head so far. Dentist is waiting until January to present the estimate for the removal of teeth and the dentures to the insurance so they will pay more of the cost. Was eating a burger two nights ago, heard a crunch, and one of the top teeth that was supposed to be a keeper had broken off at the gum. So I went in today and he filed off the jagged edges to try and wait until next year to pull it unless it gets too painful. Going through a bit of the insurance mess like you are Gwen. They have twice denied a claim from October because of coding so I'm on round 3 of having the dentist resubmit. The big difference is that I'm not fighting the constant pain and smoking cessation that you are. Not sure I could do that. I put up my little tree, wreath, and a few Christmas bears. I even put up a good sized porcelain Santa, sleigh, and reindeer on a card table covered with a lace tablecloth. I also put out my angel carousel which only partially works. It is old and not worth getting fixed but I keep it because Ron bought it for me. That's just a "smidgin" of the 20 boxes of Christmas stuff I refuse to let go of, although I've downsized from 37 boxes. Got comforters and sheets for the guys and that's about it for Christmas, but at least it's something. Not fighting the Christmas shopping mess except to return a purse I really don't need. I hope upping your meds brings you some relief, Gwen. Being Oscar is okay. At least you have a nice metal roof over your head for the dreary weather.
  5. Marg, You are a "hoot" and I say that with a ton of love. Not many of us have a generator sitting in our dining room. lol A lot of folks have toys for the grandkids littering their family room. Around here it's dog bones and dog toys. Just can't get those darn dogs to clean up after themselves. Most of Ron's things have been donated or sold out of necessity. Still have a lot of tools and fishing and hunting stuff which are my son's now and some collectibles which I kept. It no longer hurts to look at them. Time marches on and I guess we must march with it or be trampled.
  6. Gwen, Wishing you peace and a pain free day for your birthday and every day. Sending love, hugs, warmth and sunshine across the miles. Karen
  7. Kay, Thinking maybe you should have a "Christmas In July" celebration like some of the stores do. I know we love our dogs, but they put a damper on things sometime. Would be difficult if we ever decided to take even a short trip unless we took 2 vehicles. Although my truck is big, 2 big dogs and a person would not do well in the back seat. Guess we are homebodies by choice.
  8. This will be my sixth Thanksgiving without my "chief cook" and his special dinner and the fifth without a call from my daughter. Those things are gone forever. He could outcook me any day of the year, but we always looked forward to this one. I am still the "bottle washer", but don't put in a lot of cooking effort for me, my son , and grandson. Opted for ham and the trimmings this year. Easier prep and cleanup and you still get leftovers. Will most likely watch TV alone while eating with the dogs at my feet waiting for a dropped morsel. Just another day, only with more food. Will most likely go shopping afterward just to be out of the house.
  9. It is Ron's voice you still hear on my voice mail. I have no reason to change it. I still have a cassette made at Xmas in the 80's with his voice. No videos. We never made it fully into the digital age, but did get a Kodak Easyshare system to print the last few years of vacation pictures. It is sometimes hard to look at the photos throughout the years knowing what is to come. Nov. 19 will be our 46th anniersary, my 5th alone. I have watched the memorial video of my daughter two times. It is almost too much to bear. Her death has still blindsided me. I had not seen her in a year and could not have imagined how very ill she had become. On the phone, she told me to bring tennis shoes so we could go fishing. That never happened. She died within a month after I got to Kentucky.
  10. I live in the state of "Numb", another one to add to the existing 50. I moved here when I lost Ron and Debbie. As much as I want to move away, I am waiting...........Am I waiting to die or waiting to live again? I really don't know. This is not me, that person who was half of the couple always on the go, eating out, traveling around seeing new sights, doing crazy things. I remember one Saturday driving to all the "Big Lots" in this 100 mile wide valley, buying little things we didn't need, wasting gas, but it was FUN. Have not visited with FUN in such a long time, we would not recognize each other. I must not be completely useless as I cook and clean for me and the guys. I am simply useless to me. There is nothing to look forward to, nothing left to dream about. Pretty sad when the only thing you look forward to is the new episode of "Criminal Minds". lol I don't converse with anyone except you all here. I suppose I'm not very good at socializing anymore. Used to be, but that died with my family. I'm not a bar person, a church person, or a meetup group person. Damn, I am boring! But then, I don't have to listen to others talk about their fun adventures. Besides, I get enough of that watching people shop for their million dollar homes on "House Hunters".
  11. I am so sorry for the loss of your wife and young son. I lost my husband to cancer in 2013, and my daughter one year later, also to cancer. I gave permission to remove him from life support and held his hand as he died many hours later. It took a long time to erase the guilt I felt. I suppose it was a peaceful death, if death is peaceful. My daughter died screaming and in convulsions forsaken by the higher power she loved in her moment of need. That is, of course, my opinion. Her death was not peaceful and much harder to adapt to. It has taken me many years to adapt to their deaths. I will never "accept" them. The cycle of life is logical, but certainly not comforting to me, nor is the idea of laying down and dying. For this reason, I move forward a little each day. There are still days when the memories bring tears. I'm sorry that you had to find us, but be assured that we understand at least some of what you are feeling and will listen and help in any way we can. I'm glad you have friends and family nearby and a counselor you can relate to. As Marty said, do not rush your grief. There will be days you will feel okay and days it will sneak up on you like a thief in the night. Peace to you.
  12. KarenK

    Head Count

    Things much the same here. No trick or treaters for several years now. Not many small children in this neighborhood and imagine those that are attend the community Halloween in the nearby park. Even after all these years, had a bit of sobbing while fixing dinner. My son had gone to Fry's for a few groceries. Ron did the grocery shopping and Fry's was his choice of stores. Reminded me of his last days as he struggled to communicate. He couldn't talk so I had given him a pad and pen to write, but his brain wouldn't allow that either. He managed to scribble "wife" one morning, and later "Fry's". Those were the only two things I could read. I somehow think he was telling me to go get groceries. Who knows? Anyhow, that sad memory is burned into my brain along with so many others. Can't seem to outrun old age. It catches me no matter how fast I run. Am going to have to get more teeth pulled and partial dentures if I want to keep eating. Not what I wanted to hear, but guess I needed another reason to feel depressed. lol
  13. Having my own quiet "pity party", Gwen, but for somewhat different reasons. Can't sleep for worrying about my stupid teeth. Three front bottom teeth were loose and my dentist was going to wire them to the surrounding teeth. One of them snapped off at the gumline two nights ago and I know when the remaining piece is removed, it will take out the other two teeth. Like you with your oxygen, I never dreamed I'd end up a snaggle toothed old woman. I doubt I can afford a bridge if one would even work. My son offered to pay for it from his house sale money, but that's dwindling fast enough with him unable to work right now. I certainly don't need to look attractive for anyone, but would like to look halfway normal and continue to eat. Here I am feeling sorry for myself when my poor Ron had all his teeth pulled in one day in preparation for radiation. All that extra pain for nothing as he died before the radiation could be started.
  14. That is interesting to know, Dee. I have experienced the "halos" for at least 15 years or more. They bother me most around the traffic signals and oncoming headlights. Don't drive at night unless it's an absolute necessity. The ophthalmologist told me many, many years ago that I was developing cataracts, so I just assumed that was the cause of the "halos". I don't drive far from home so can get by in the daylight. Just don't ask me to read a street sign. I use dollar store glasses for reading. Have just put my vision on the "back burner" for many years. I lost my vision insurance at retirement thirteen years ago and there were so many other things that needed financial attention. The doctor's visit is covered by medical insurance, but not glasses themselves. Go figure.
  15. I did have that fungal pneumonia back in Kentucky. Not sure if a preventative shot would have helped that because it was a weird type. Definitely no fun. My immune system was shot to pieces then also. Son feeling better. Eating only baked chicken and rice, applesauce, and yogurt and drinking carrot juice, aloe vera juice, and water. Boring, but seems to be helping his stomach.