Clematis

Thanks George. Cary has given me every indication all along that he would work with me on getting all the stuff out by the time of closing, which seemed very nice of him. But today he was really pushing me, which I didn't like very much. I have worked hard over a long time period to make sure that the property went to Cary. Partly that was for my own reasons - because Greg is my friend and because doing it like this may have bought me some more time in which I could finish the school year and finish my classes and finish my work. But for Cary - well he is able to purchase this highly desirable condo in a resort community for about $100K less than a very similar property - same plan - in the same development. And all the condo needs is paint and carpet. He's getting a heck of a deal and I figure he should be nice to me. I'll talk to Greg when I can...I know he's shooting on a movie in Albuquerque today...

My head is totally spinning... I asked my new friend on the reservation and she told me that her people, the Navajo, had there tradition that was only to grieve for one cycle of the moon, and that is a person was still crying and really missing someone after that, it was likely to be leading them into depression and mental illness. She said that the Hopi tradition was similar. I took this up with Mike, my (white) friend with whom I worked out there for several years and he said yeah that was true but that things were changing because people are realizing that it doesn't really work for their kids, and they have their kids talk to us (the white school counselors) to process their grief. I know I have talked to a number of kids over the years that have told me that a year - or years- after the death of their grandmother - or another relative - they really missed them at the dances every year because that person has been such a big part of how they began learning the traditions of the dances when they were very little. Twenty-eight days! That just seems crazy... Cary, the guy who is buying my dad's house on a short sale was in town today. He is the uncle of my good friend Greg's wife- Greg ,who has been helping me all along with my dad's house, my house, the move and all that. Cary asked me to go over to the title company to make a phone call to the bank because he had a question and they will only communicate with me. So then he and the title officer asked me to sign the papers. The closing is not until June 5 and my head is busy spinning around from things at work (end of the school year) and whatnot. I would not have had time to do more than look for the places to sign and no time to even skim the closing papers. I said no. Why would you ask someone to just sign all this stuff with no notice that they were going to be doing that? "Since you're here, will you just sign all this without reading it?" No. Cary also told me he had arranged with Greg to pay him to paint the condo and he asked if it would it be ok if Greg started on that before the closing date. That was another surprise. My dad's house still has a lot of stuff in it and I have been trying to get Greg to come down from Flagstaff to help me clear things out. I really can't do much until I am done with the school year's work a week from today. That will give me three and a half weeks of relatively free time to get the house cleared out - hopefully with some help from Greg. He will need to help get the house cleared out before any painting can be done. I think Cary is having a fantasy on this one. Especially since Greg is frequently gone, working in New Mexico - he's a movie photographer. And when he is in town he has a hard time getting down here because he is doing things around his house. Maybe he will make painting the condo a priority since it's his wife's uncle, but his first priority is always work when he can get it. But he can hardly paint it before I can clear it out. I am feeling overwhelmed with missing my dad and feeling lost and feeling anxious about that job I still haven't even heard word one about an interview on. How can anyone think someone could resolve significant grief in one cycle of the moon?

I keep thinking that I'm going to wake up some day and no longer be missing my dad. When I was a young adult I blissfully bolted across the country to get away from my crazy family, mostly my mother. She thought I was crazy. My sisters thought for 20 years that I'd come back. My dad was hurt and angry. I didn't realize until he had moved out west to be with me after my mother died that he always figured that I had moved so far away to get away from him. Hardly. Even though we weren't close all those years. It's so strange to think about now - I adored him when I was little, and then I was angry with him and then I tried to make friends with him, which wasn't easy. But even though we were thousands of miles apart I didn't miss him. But after he came out here we became closer and closer. And now I am here and he is gone and I wonder who I am and what I am doing. This afternoon I went to a get-together at the house of the special ed director for whom I hope to be working next year. There were some people there from the neighboring district, for which I used to work. It was a horribly stressful work situation with a nasty ending that was due to no fault of mine. I thought I was in free fall and my life was over, but my dad rescued me. He was so supportive as I floundered and then got a life back together doing contract work and driving all over half the state - a life I adjusted to so we could stay here. Now, I keep thinking that if I get this job it will be a sweet ending to all those years of trauma and uncertainty. But today it is all reminding me of how difficult that all was, but how I got through it with his help and support. He always had my back. What I have gone through in the last 16 months seems like more than a person can do, and I'm still not sure how I will cope as things go forward in any direction. But I still hear his voice in my ear, "I still think you're wonderful"...

It's hard to know what to do...ordinarily I don't feel this kind of trepidation, but I know that the Hopi are very private and many of their customs, traditions, and beliefs are secrets. There is a long history of their trust in people being violated and their secrets exposed, and so many people are wary. I try very hard to ask the right questions to get to the clinical questions and issues without asking questions that would reveal things that kids are not supposed to talk about. Usually by the time kids get to initiation age (12 or 13) they know what things are secrets and how to avoid talking about them. Perhaps working with Jr and Sr High school students as I am now is not as treacherous as working with younger kids because even though they have more information they should know how to talk around it... For example, a fifth grade boy started a topic once by talking about his grandmother washing his hair and I guessed that this was a ritual, maybe around initiation. I suggested that to him and asked him to talk about his feelings around what was happening. Once a very smart second grade girl started telling me about a group of people sitting around a table handling a number of items. I figured out that she was hoping I could tell her what they were doing and that it was related to a sacred ritual. I suggested this to her - that they were working on something secret right in front of her as you would a small child, with no explanation, and she agreed. I felt on more solid ground then, because I realized that she was frustrated about being cut out of an adult conversation. That is a universal experience - feeling hurt and angry at being treated as a child, and wanting the truth. I didn't need any details. This seems very different because I believe that missing an important person in one's family who has died is very normal and universal. But part of their belief system is that missing and yearning for the loved one too much or for too long pulls them away from their spiritual path to another world, and so that is not good. I really don't know what to say to these kids; I want to help them but I don't want to say something that conflicts with their belief system, and the students I see all are in special education. Some of them only have learning disabilities that do not affect their involvement with their cultural customs and beliefs, but some have cognitive impairments and/or really dysfunctional families that are not able to be very supportive of children in distress. I think it would probably be good to talk to my new friend out there - the one who said this to me and with whom I have been eating lunch. I think since she is from a neighboring tribe she would be close enough to be knowledgeable but distant enough to understand that my interest is in helping the kids and not as intrusive. I go out there tomorrow and will give that a try...

Thanks Marty and Kay! I am so exhausted. Driving out to the reservation is SO tiring. I love the kids, the school, the people, the place, but driving three hours each way to work - even once or twice a week is really really hard. I just can't get enough sleep to feel rested. And I have to complete my work for the district where I am doing contract work as a school psych, and hoping for that job. Although they haven't set a date for a formal interview, I view everything I do for them at this point as a prolonged interview. So I am trying to do my very best at everything when I want to just go to bed and stay there for the summer. And then there are these three other districts that I am in communication with about work for next year plus the school on the reservation - if I don't get the salaried job, I will need these others as backups so that I have enough contract work to get by. Also, my dad's house is closing on June 5 and there is still a ton of stuff there to deal with. And I still miss my dad every day and that wears upon me - I still feel like I am staggering along. Yesterday I was talking to a woman at the reservation school where I am working. She has been SO friendly and nice to me since the moment I met her; when I was introduced to her as a social worker, she jumped up and threw her arms around me, and we have had lunch together every day I have been out there. She is from a neighboring tribe, and not the one where the school is. She is about my age and is struggling through the same family problems that I have had since my dad died, although her mom (for whom she is caring) is still alive. This lovely woman, a SpEd teacher, and I were talking about a student we both work, and she sort of tossed in there a bit in the way of friendly advice. She said I should be careful talking about someone having "died" or being "dead". She said something about telling kids that a person was "sleeping" or some other lingo. I had talked to her about my dad's spirit talking to me and that he didn't like my saying he was "gone" - I kept hearing him say "I'm not gone - I'm right here!" Anyway, we kept talking about talking about the dead and the words, and I finally realized what she was telling me..."Oh, you're not just talking about what words to use, but the whole topic of a person being dead." She said yes, and now I am really confused. I asked her if I had said the wrong thing to someone and she said Oh no - she was just giving me some information. When I was at the other school in previous years, working as a school counselor at at K-6 school, the kids and I had made a wall poster of "Springtime", with each person adding paper animals, paper animals, etc out of origami or cutouts to the piece, which originally covered the entire door to the counseling room. I cutout and pasted a little bunny onto a cloud on the sky. The kids, who will point up toward the sky in reference to someone who has passed away, totally got that this was my mother, who was probably from the Rabbit Clan. That was good for little kids, but these kids are older. The topic comes up, and as their counselor I am supposed to talk to them about difficult things if that is what they need or want. I vaguely recall something about how these people believe that a person passes and goes on a journey and one is not supposed to interfere with their path by paying too much attention to them, because it calls them back - and away from their journey. On the other hand they clearly believe that the person who has passed frequently stays with a survivor who still needs them. I don't know what to do. There is this woman and also another teacher of the same age who have talked to me about elderly people in their families who have died or are close. This seems to have been good for them and me, but I don't want to do the wrong thing. I don't want to pry about their beliefs, but not say the wrong thing either. Maybe I should just ask them since they have been rather open with me...

Thanks! Still no news...it's been a month and they haven't said anything about doing interviews. I did ask the Special Ed Director if he had any idea what the timeline was and he said, "We need to do the whole process, but we will definitely be done by the end of the school year - May 22 is the last day. I was hoping that I would get this job and know soon, avoiding pounding the pavement, sweating bullets, and pursuing other positions that I would have no interest in if I land my "dream job". That last makes me feel like I am misleading other schools/districts...but maybe that's not so...

I kind of like the idea of fishing, but not the part about actually catching, killing, cleaning and eating the fish. I like fish from the meat department. I like the idea of hanging out in a boat or on the shore messing around with fishing equipment, and the people who like fishing. I like them. I still am waiting to hear anything about the job. Actually I know a few things. They work on hiring teachers first and then the related services; Speech paths, OT's, PT's and School Psychs. I talked to Amy, the school psych I was covering for in the fall when she was on maternity leave and then backing her up since then. She is the one who is leaving - her position is the one I am applying for. She told me she told the Special Education director she really thinks he should hire me and how she suggests they divide the schools between me and the other School Psych. She also told me that she was told that I am the only applicant. That may change, but she said she thought it would be very strange if they did not hire me. But it could easily be the end of May before I have a contract in hand...

Seems so...and Jack seems to be a spirit that has some sensitivity to having some of his things touched or used. It really seems like he showed up when I started carving with his knife, and has been kind of guiding me in my carving endeavor. After discovering the box of lures he carved, I suddenly out of the blue got this idea that I am going to carve fishing lures. I heard him and my dad talking about this last night while I was driving to orchestra rehearsal, like they are marveling over this. My dad: "...and she doesn't even fish". Jack: "Yeah, I know..." Me, thinking..."Why does it seem so important all of a sudden that I learn to carve fishing lures? OK, whatever. Sounds like fun..." I seem to have a pair of ...what-guardian angels? Guardian spirits? My dad and my mother's dad, watching over me and entertaining themselves. They really are kind of funny. I know that they had a lot of respect and affection for each other, but since I was only seven when Jack died, I don't remember much about him - like if they goofed around together like this when Jack was alive. I remember we were always really excited to see him, and all of the other grownups were always acting like he was fragile and we might break him if we got too close to him. My mother only told tales of him as a serious and sensitive intellectual, but I wonder what he was really like...and what he is like now. As long as I don't have to take up fishing...

To be fair, I do have some spirit company. My dad seems to never be far from my side, and I am beginning to be aware of my grandfather Jack (mother's dad) around me. My mother idolized him, and he was a pretty amazing guy. He had multiple sclerosis, which mercifully never went beyond his legs. So he lived his adult life in a wheelchair, but had a full and active live, working as an optometrist, writing poetry, and engaging in fishing, photography, target shooting, and bird watching at the log cabin he had built on the Greenbriar River in WV. We spent all our summer vacations there. Jack died when I was seven and so I never got to know him well, but he was a principal figure of my childhood and youth because my mother talked about him so much. Anything about Jack or things that belonged to Jack were automatically precious. I've always been aware of his historical role, and I've had the impression (through my dad since his death) that my mother has been with her dad since she died. But since I started carving I seem to be a lot more aware of Jack's spirit around me. Maybe he's always been there, and maybe it's related to my carving with his knife. It's a funny thing and I don't know much about this. Maybe someone else does...

I get the urge to call my dad all the time. It is so weird living here surrounded by his stuff and he's not here. I knew I'd miss him but had no idea how much. I know that he missed my mother terribly after she died, but he was never really alone. By the time she died, I was calling him every day of the world and talking to him for at least an hour a day. Then he moved out here and I saw him every day of the world, and talked to him several times a day as well. But there is no one here for me. Except Lena...

It's a relief to know what will happen and not worry about when and how. But there is still a lot of stuff down there at his house that I will have to figure out what to do with. I also will finally have to say goodbye to my dad's house. He's not there, but it is still a safe place and a keeper of my memories. I miss him every day, and some days even more so. Sometimes I still wonder how I will survive without him, even though I obviously am doing so. There have been some things lately that have really given me a charge and made me happy and excited. And then it's over and I crash back to realizing that he's gone, along with my connection to my family history and the memories and people that filled it. I continue but I still feel lost and being alone seems too much. Maybe that's just how it is... I had no idea

Thank you so much, Marty and Kay! I guess all I can do is wait, and do the best job I can with the work I still have with this district...That and get plenty of sleep and take care of business and myself. Tomorrow is another long drive out to the reservation... And you're right - my dad is still with me. I feel his confidence more than my own right now. Maybe he can go and put in a good word for me, since he's loose to wander about now. On another scene, I finally got word that the bank accepted the short-sale offer from my friend Greg's uncle. This is good news for everybody. Good for Greg's uncle - they accepted his original offer and not the higher he gave them a few months later - and he got this news on his birthday today. And a relief for me. There will be some finality to all this. Also, they set a closing date of June 5. That will give me plenty of time to finish getting my dad's and my stuff out and settled.

Tonight I am worried. Maybe they really just don't like me, and would rather take a chance on a total unknown right out of school than me... I sure miss my dad. He always had my back and when I worried would tell me, "Well I think you're wonderful!" It would always make me feel better. I also knew that he would be there to pick up the pieces and help me out if I got into trouble.

The school district has already contacted my references and heard back from two of them! And it's only been 24 hours since I turned in my online application...that seems good, huh?

Thank you! In 2005, within a month of my mother's death I graduated with my second graduate degree and got a job as a school psychologist in Sedona. I announced to the world that I was going to stay in that position until I retired, but I had no idea the awful things that could happen to a person at work. I coaxed my dad out west in 2006 and all was well. Then my sociopathic boss managed to separate me from my job by eliminating it - to contract out the work. I thought my life was over - I was a long ways from retirement age, the real estate market tanked, and here I was with my dad out here. What was I to do - sell my house at such a loss that I'd lose my life savings, move to Phoenix and desert my dad? I remember lying on the floor hoping I would just stop breathing and die. My dad promised me that he was not going to let the bottom fall out from under me but I was sure I was in free fall. I wasn't sure I could trust him, but I had no choice. I think he really didn't know when he moved out west if he could trust me as he aged with Parkinson's, but he knew my sisters well enough to know he really didn't have a choice. So he took his chances and came out west, calling it his last big adventure. So here we found ourselves, leaning on each other over the next years as he declined and I struggled to do the best I could getting contract work and anything I could find. As it turned out, he couldn't have had a more devoted or loyal daughter, and he totally had my back. He carried me financially when I didn't earn enough to make it, and he never complained about having to help me financially. He used to say to me, "I bet you never thought I'd be such a burden on you". I always told him that he was no burden and if he was, it was one I had gladly chosen and the best thing I had done in my life. We had become the best of friends. When he died, I was in a car accident, and I lost most of my work - all in 2016, I never felt as panicked as I did in 2009, but the uncertainty has been palpable and I wonder what will become of me, driving those killer long hours, wondering every year if I will have enough work the next year to live on, and so on. Lena and I have always been warm, dry, and fed - with a roof over our heads and flowers in the yard, but it has certainly seemed rather dicey. It would be such a blessed relief to be back in a permanent salaried position, back in the state retirement system, paying into social security and getting health benefits, working from one year into the next and knowing that my work was ensuring my future ability to retire with a roof over my head...

Thanks! I got a job once- actually twice - due to writing a thank-you letter for a job interview, as my father had taught me. He told me that it was an easy way to get head and shoulders above other applicants because hardly anyone ever does it. You can also throw in anything you forgot in the interview or underscore something if you want to. I talked to the SpEd coordinator, who is kind of the right hand to the SpEd director, who ultimately makes the decision. I told her that I had put in my application last night. She said that the director had asked her something about this yesterday - like he asked her if she knew if I was applying. She said she'd be sure to let him know. This seems good - that he is interested in my applying. Also, as it happens, there are several situations at once right now that are kind of sticky wickets, in which he is getting involved because they are high profile or whatever. One of these meetings was today and had a brief word about another that is tomorrow. These are good opportunities to make a good impression about my knowledge of the law, my field, education, psychological evaluation data, and how it all fits together in a pressured situation. I think he was impressed with how I did today and that he feels confident about the one that is tomorrow. This seems good...

Thank you Kay! I did manage to get a cover letter together and had a fellow school psychologist look at it. It was pretty basic, but I think that was ok because the online application process had a lot of other information on it Nevertheless, it's always good to see how other people write stuff and get ideas. I sure hope I get this job. I have a lot to offer them, and I think I have a good chance. It's very exciting. It would get me back into the state retirement system, real health insurance, contributing to social security and all of that. I would also be part of the district rather than an outsider, and since it's a good district,, that would be great. And I would be driving less than a half hour to work!

Thanks! You never know who you may be up against - or who may take a dislike to you, but it seems like I have a good chance. I have worked there as a contract person for the past year - so they know me. Also, I have a stellar resume with 13 years in the field of School Psychology and 21 years in the field of Social Work, in probation, prison, schools, agencies, home health, and private practice. These small towns have a hard time getting professionals, and positions sometimes are not filled at all. The job requirements call for a person to have one year of experience, which could be an internship year. The person I would be replacing began as an intern, and so did her predecessor. So they might be ecstatic to have someone with my background. And they say they like to hire from within... One day in the fall I was chatting with the special ed director and the special ed coordinator and my work history was mentioned. He quizzed me about it and seemed really floored that someone with my background was living 25 minutes away, relatively at loose odds, willing to do part time contract work. Then he asked me for my resume and stashed it in his desk. Seems like a good sign, huh?

Thanks! I'm so glad you like my work. About earning a living, check out my post above this one and cross your fingers for me, ok?

The school district where I have been working, doing contract work - 25 minutes from my house - has an opening for a school psychologist for next school year! A real job! I am excited and terrified. I need to apply online. The first step is a cover letter. I don't even remember how to write one...how long, what to say, what not to say, what kind of tone. I just don't even know. I love this school district, and have told everyone there so, at every turn, all school year. They have been very good to me, people have been very kind, and I have tried to hard to do my best in every way. But it was a hard year. I lost my dad and then was in that car accident. I was so unfocused when I started there in the fall and got behind on my paperwork. But I worked really hard and eventually got caught up. Amy, the lead psychologist, has told me at every turn how much she has appreciated me helping them out this year. The special ed director has always been friendly to me and always seems very happy to see me, especially since he heard about my professional background and asked for my resume in the fall... There are two school psychs there and one of them, Amy and J, whom I barely know. So one of them is leaving, but I don't know which one. Amy had a baby at summer's end and I was initially covering for her while she was on maternity leave. Then I have been her backup when she came back. Now I am doing more back up because she was out of town because her dad was very ill and then he died a few days ago. I certainly don't want to bug her...I just sent her a short sympathy text and said that I would do anything to cover for her and help out at work.

Yay. It's 9:15 and I finally stopped working. On the day that is supposedly my day off. Good thing I only have a few weeks of this total insanity before things calm down to something more doable. Meanwhile, there is this... http://www.theblueguitarmagazine.org/resources/Blue+Guitar+Spring+2017_ENJOY.pdf My work is on pp 14-18 And my little wood carvings and ceramic cats...

Yeah, I do too. It was great this year working in a district that is only a half an hour away. Too bad it won't continue... Driving out to the reservation once a week is not bad at all, going twice a week gets to be oppressive, and three times a week is unbearable. Two days a week is enough to live on easily but one day a week is really not enough; I would need something to go with it. Problem is that that work pays better than other work I can get and has a lot less paperwork. I feel like I should be in a frenzy of worry and activity about securing work for next year, but I am not. Sundays are the only day I get any break at all and it seems like I should be getting caught up on things like paying some bills and writing a report that is due on Tuesday. But I got up and just went back to bed until Lena insisted that I get up for real and attend to breakfast. Thursdays I have my 14-hour reservation day. I drive to Prescott on Mondays and Wednesdays to take classes. Fridays I test kids and Tuesdays I am busy doing school psychologist work. Saturdays I have an all day ceramics class, and Lena does therapy cat visits on Sunday afternoons. I suppose it is no wonder that Sunday mornings make me want to crawl back into bed. I guess it looks like I am over the top. No wonder I am not doing any work on my dad's house; when would I do it? I am working on a commissioned sign for Shaun at the local greenhouse/nursery (13 acres of greenhouses and growing things). I hoped I could do the whole thing during Spring Break because I could work on it every day. But Lena's being sick took some time from that and I didn't finish. I keep dropping by and doing little bits, but don't have a block of about two hours that it would take to get it done. I saw Shaun on Friday and explained my concern, he said that he absolutely loves the sign and I shouldn't worry about it at all. Just finish it when I can. It's hard to stop worrying. I suppose I should just do what is in my face and let the stuff that can wait just do that - wait for its turn. I have to feed and water Lena, myself, and plants at both houses, and I really have to complete a report by Tuesday. I have more time than I need between today and tomorrow. I have already fed myself and Lena, done the laundry, and caught up on my homework until April 19 - except one project that I have not much control over because the bulk of is a ceramic base that is waiting to go into the kiln - and the teacher is aware of that. I suppose I should water the plants and calm down. And the cello - I should practice the cello! Well, maybe in the evening after I get a lot done on the report... I just keep thinking of more things I need to do...I need to create a bill for March so I can get paid... I think my planned schedule is doable; I just have to make a list, not panic and spin out of control. After this week, things will lighten up, and gradually there will be less and less on my plate. It just isn't getting here soon though...

That is so sad! He was an adorable cat and I'm sure you miss him terribly. Cats are so good at putting on a good show when they aren't at their best. It is so hard to know what to do when someone we love is ill, and the fact that it looks more clear in hindsight doesn't mean that you or anyone could really have known what to do at the time. No one could know, and the truth is that you still don't really know. If you had moved him to the other facility and he had died, you would blame yourself for making that decision, and it still wouldn't be your fault. But I think we all find something to feel guilty about when we lose someone. I guess it's just part of feeling bad...

I have had people making comments about how I should be moving on for some time, and I find it really annoying that someone would presume to tell another how they should grieve, how long, or any other "should" stuff about grief. I think I have moved along too quickly - just because I had to. Or it seemed like I had to. I have had more than I could handle just about every day since I lost my dad. Being in a car accident and having all that drama with my sisters really was too much. Right now, I am trying to cope with my current load and not stress about his house. The mortgage bank is incredibly lackadaisical about proceeding with the short sale of his house, so I am trying to use the break to breathe and get through the semester. I just started working at a new reservation school (Junior/Senior) and have been SO grateful for the kindness people showed me. One special ed teacher, when I was introduced to her as a social worker, she jumped out to hug me as if I were her long lost sister. We've eaten lunch together both of the Thursdays I have been out there. This past Thursday, I met another SpEd teacher, who had two little elephants carved from stone in her room and was telling me about who had left these precious carvings to her. I showed her my little wood elephant I carved and was telling her about my dad and carrying on his legacy with wood. When I told her it had been a little more than a year since he died she said, "Oh! You're still really grieving" with compassion and understanding. It was really a comfort. But you, Lisa, are so new to this path. Kay's last post...it couldn't be said any better. It couldn't be said enough - it's so important and so true. I have so often felt pushed past my capacity, and often the biggest pressure was actually from myself. Just take it one day at a time. And read what Kay wrote. It's a print-it-out-and-stick-it-to-the-fridge kind of thing. Maybe I should stick it to my own fridge... Laura

I'm driving out to the reservation to work again - just one day a week, but the drive is brutal at three hours each way. It will be good to have the money, and hopefully I will be able to segue this into work next school year. I am now at the Junior/Senior high school and have seen a lot of the kids I worked with before at the elementary schools. A number of them saw me and wanted to know, "Where's your cat?" Lena only went out there occasionally, but it was fun for everybody and I guess it was memorable... Only problem - all the way home, all three hours of it, I thought about how I used to look forward to having dinner with my day after the long drive. I also used to call him on the drive home, often several times. I sure miss him. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have Lena to come home to. I sure love that cat!