Margm

Your little hands take so much trauma.  Mine shake so I have had to quit peeling potatoes.  Have not hurt  them yet, and yes, I'm going to "knock on wood" right now (but not with any force).  

We didn't have an A/C until 1967, when my daughter was born.  Even then, it as the RR depot's that they had given my dad.  But, we, as a family were all born in June, July, and August.  I remember the window fans put against the screen window and waking up to damp sheets, and they felt so good.  (Before 1967).  The oldest generations built their houses high up, there was a porch overhead for all us kids to play under (and snakes).  The ceilings were high and I do not remember screens on those big open windows.  My great-great grandmother one night took her kids, built a big fire outside and all slept around it.  Wild cats and other varmints roamed those back creek bottom woods.  My grandmother left us her "Memories" in book form.  (Typed papers in folders.) They didn't realize if they were having a climate change heat wave or not.

That is such good news Kevin, almost as good as this Louisiana state of bayous, creeks, rivers, lakes, and Sahara Desert #2.  We are actually getting rain.  Of course when we get the tail end of all those hurricanes that are scheduled, we just might all be under water.  

I guess you all are getting your autumn cool spells.  It is still so hot here I shower and "glisten" all day.  You said "touch wood" and I wonder if that is the same as our "knock on wood?"

I have not got mine yet, but my fingers shake, so I would imagine I'm not going to have fun.  Right now I have to roll over to my contacts on my flip phone, hopefully, a small bit smarter one I will be able to just reach them without all the different motions.  We'll see.  

I have used a flip phone for as long as I have had a cell phone.  Jitterbug, I think.  I have looked at their "smart" phones for the past couple of years and I ordered one today.  I would say "pray for me" but not sure God is in favor of me and "smart" in the same thought.  If you looked it up, you would see any simpleton could work it.  It is 'FOR SENIORS" but I think I'm past even "senior."  They do not have the fancy prices the fancy smart phones have, but my Jitterbug has been jitterbugging along for a long time.  

It said it was bad because the water from the Gulf was so warm.  I can only imagine.  It is 92 here today, and that is a cold wave.  We have broke the record for number of triple digit days and up to 112 in some places.  If I got outside you could see the heat in the air.  Y'all were smart to keep high up, but we can't stop the electricity from going down.  Here, a few miles from where I live, they grew soybeans and corn.  There is an energy company coming in paying the farmers more than they could make off the crops to use all that land and put up some kind of energy panels, acres and acres of them.  The Hallmark looking little villages will be taken over by this company.  I remember my grandmother writing about them growing crops and the federal government paid them to plow them under.  Made no sense to her and it doesn't me either.  Guess we have to hope China has a bumper crop of corn and soybeans.  Of course produce will go up in price, but perhaps people that had to do without electricity during our last storms in Louisiana might have utilities to be available sooner.  A lot I do not understand.  Stay safe Marty.  

It is even 88 here at noon, we have been triple digits for a month.  We had a small rain, but Marty is the one who is going to get the weather if she lives Gulf-side of the hurricane that is supposed to hit Florida.  I had not read today where it is.  Enjoy that coolness ladies and I hope they control the fires up north and in Canada.  We have even had a few in this water state of ours.  

That is good news Kevin.  Our California coast and further inland, they are having a terrible time.  On top of the heat, a hurricane (named Hilary, of course), has even caused an earthquake.  And then there is Maui.  We just try to stay inside and hope the A/C keeps working.  Stay safe USA.  Strange situations.

We keep hitting record highs here.  No rain.  Nontypical weather everywhere.  The East Coast and New England states got the floods and that was not typical.  Maui.  One of my prayer warriors wrote a prayer for rain.  I still have my mustard seed faith, but that can move mountains.  No mountains in Louisiana.  Could use the rain.  My sister cannot breathe in either.  Two A/C in 500+ square foot apartment.  Needs a dehumidifier, but would have to order one.  Getting so hard for her to breathe, and then I remember how my aunt died with emphysema.  Admits she feels better when not smoking, but apartment is full of cigarette smoke.  Sometimes you can only help yourself, sounds selfish, but you have to want to before you can do it.  

It is 1:55 p.m. and I have to go to the "big city."  It is 101 degrees and will get hotter.  So I have to quit putting it off.  I hope everyone is safe.

Said our heat will feel like 112 tomorrow but will be in lower triple digits.  In a water state like Louisiana, we have still had some breakout fires along the Texas line, but still in a portion that a river and huge lake are in that location also. I would imagine Kay may have gone to her daughter's.  Y'all stay inside.  

2 hours ago, KarenK said:

Maybe I should look for a bar fight instead. 

I'm such a coward.  Do not know how I went through having them all pulled. (Yes, I had Billy with me, and he was my backbone.)  The idea of having the screw in's really put me in a state of zombyism.  The doctor actually walked out on me.  At the time I had not had a ruptured colon.  That makes it where I can only take antibiotics by needle.  The idea of a screw holding in what amounts to a denture covering the screwed in teeth, $9,000 cost (I think they are a lot less now) and the fact that there was no guarantee whatsoever that my body would possibly have ejected them, I would lose them anyhow made up my mind.  My friend gave us a day-by-day adventure with her screwed in teeth, and it was a total nightmare.  Yet, I have heard a couple of people say they could not do without them.  You wear a false teeth holder, and personally, I do prefer dentures.  At 81, I doubt I'm trying to impress anyone anyhow.  

I'm so glad it was easier on you this time and hope the next time will be even easier.  

On 8/12/2023 at 8:03 AM, KarenK said:

Round 2 of teeth extractions coming up Monday

Hope this one is better on you.  Let us hear from you.

I begged my sister to find someone, husband, companion, partner, just mostly anything to help her.  She was beautiful but too smart for a man. (So she thought). I had Billy during horrid times, and he would have made a good nurse.  Never minded taking care of me, but I should have noticed his decline.

Gov. Abbott in Texas was quoted as saying 3/4 of Texas was on fire.  If this is not hell, for me, it certainly is for some people.  

And the news covers Biden's son and Trump's number of indictments, and I don't understand politics at all, but I do think Biden's son is not important enough to interrupt my soap opera "The Young and the Restless."  Dumb ox's.    

Tied a record of 2011 today, it was 106.  Fires starting toward the Texas line.  Starting small, hope they can get them fast.

Yes she is my only sibling and labor with me was such a trauma for my mom she waited almost 10 years to have another child.  She was always more my child than sister.  Can you imagine though, those states wanting a 10-year-old to go through labor and have a child.  Rape would scar a child for life, but to put her through 9 months of body changes and then, while still playing with dolls, she is thrust into the horrible pain of childbirth, and can only pray she will get over the child abuse.  It would not be fair for a child.  We were not real close growing up, but our relatives have all passed away and she is my child again.  I wish I could have gotten her to quit cigarettes.  She was a beauty queen.  Hurts my soul.  

I don't know how the humidity mixes with our heat but I think Marcy cannot breathe in the humidity.  On August 2nd, it was a record of 106, some 105 days and it is strange, it gets hot at 7:30 at night.  Now at 9:00 p.m., it is 93.  All triple digit highs since the last of July.  Climate change?  I don't know, but if I take my sister to grocery store, doctor, or get outside, I have to change clothes.  I take showers and before I can dry off, I am "glistening" like a 200 watt bulb.  

I'm so sorry about the teeth.  Now feel fortunate mine were so bad they all were removed when I was young.  Worried still about Gwen.  Wish we had some word.  After the Maui fires, nothing is taken for granted.  Kay, find a way out of the inferno if it comes too close and it honestly sounds like it has been too close.  We used to have two people on here, she lived in Maui, ran a restaurant, I think "he" moved her to Arizona.  Have heard nothing for years, but hope they stayed in Arizona.  I know some will know who I'm talking about.  Time passes so fast.  She may have had family on Maui.  Some of my son's high school friends were worried about a "Steve" and actually saw him safe, interviewed on TV.  So easy to forget Hawaii is a state, just like mine is.  It is cooler in the mornings but still in the triple digits at 7:30 p.m.  If this is climate change, it came on like a lion.  Stay safe Kay, the smoke is dangerous too.  Seeing my "little" sister trying for air is torture.  But, I took her to buy her cigarettes anyhow.  The damage is done. 

Good luck Kevin.  My granddaughter has been seeing them off and on since she entered her teens.  Now none.  Their message was always "you've got to learn to love yourself" but with the mental violence that comes toward her, she only feels safe in her room.  She has not gotten out of the house in at least three months.  She has tried all the mental pharmacy. She is no threat to me; she is one of the sweetest persons I've ever known.  At age 24, I can do nothing.  She is so hauntingly beautiful that all she has to do is go out in public and strangers will try to talk to her, they even compliment her, and that scares her so much.  I am too old to "put my foot down" and an institution would destroy her.  I can only hope I live long enough to see her get help.  And, I do protect her.  No more mental violence, and that source can still find ways to try to get a kick in and follow her on social networks, if she even gets on one.  So she hides from them too.  She has one good friend, has been for years, but she lives a couple of hundred miles away now.  Her bio-mom took all street drugs until she was born, and when adopted (by daughter) she was Billy's greatest love for a grandchild.  She has stayed with us most of her life, but when she was not, the mental abuse was enough to keep her in hiding from people.  I have no answers and if suggested, we've already been that route.  One day I will be gone, and she says she will live on the streets.  I know what is there, and that would destroy her completely.  Drugs and alcohol are not part of her life.  Her bio-parents lived that life, both of them. Really, some parents do not understand, their own mental problems can destroy the most beautiful things.  I wish you and your wife the best and so glad you are there to help your wife. 

Mama called cigarettes "her friends" and they were the only friends she had.  She had an old bumper sticker "I smoke, and I vote."  I cannot tell you the many times she tried to get me to smoke.  Smoking would help me lose weight.  Smoking would make a smaller baby and childbirth would not be as bad.  Marcy weighed 6 pounds, Mama smoking.  I weighed 8 pounds w/o Mama smoking, and I nearly killed her.  Both of mine were 8 pounds 2 oz.  I tried twice to smoke but inhaling hurt my lungs so bad, I didn't try again.  Mama always said she'd buy our cigarettes.  I had no desire.  Marcy has emphysema so bad she has to quit coughing to breathe.  She agrees she feels better w/o them but cannot quit them.  I can do nothing.

Nice to hear from Kevin.  Sounds like he is keeping very busy.  They first scheduled us off electricity for an unknown amount of time.  My sister lives off oxygen now.  The heat here in Louisiana (and lots of other places) is hard to take.  You cannot raise your windows, even at night, you let in the heat (and yet we all lived at one time w/o A/C.)  They were telling us days, but our little town of close to 12,000 kept us updated on the social networks.  Finally settled on fixing it at night, for the comfort of the citizens and the electric workers.  I bought a large amount of camping equipment to keep cool, fans (loads of D-cell batteries), lights, (not risking heat of candles).  Turned A/C down so house would stay cool as long as possible.  They had it fixed in three hours.  My sister went to my son's with an almost stop at the ER, anxiety mostly.  I picked her up yesterday morning.  She was able to get the oxygen cylinders and the backpack for her trips outside her apartment.  She feels better not smoking, cannot use the patches.  But her anxiety will make her smoke.  I can say what not to do, but I've never had this addiction.  My once beauty contest winning sister is down to 90 pounds and fighting to live, and I am 10 years older and am not a spry chicken anymore.  Shorter and double the weight. 

My positive was a sandwich with pimento cheese.  My negative was, I can have cheese in small amounts, but 0/none pimento.  I added another cross in front of my necessity.  (I think I have thirteen), unlucky number.  I said to it, I promise God, I will never eat pimento again.  Sometimes you can get by with things, sometimes not.  

A big positive:  A fire hit one of our transformers and we were informed it housed Minden's grid. (Whatever that means).  My sister, on oxygen, was a nervous wreck.  We are having ALL over 100 degrees weather, Louisiana is humid, she cannot get outside.  We were told the whole city (about 11,000 to 12,000 people, were going to be without electricity, imminent, for unknown period of time.  We don't live in the old timey dog-trot houses with high porches, high ceilings, trees all around.  Some of us now live in apartments where we do not open the windows.  We keep up with updates on the computer.  Just told us no outages were planned.  With the spring storms, some of those big, nice houses had those big trees fall on them and destroy them.  They were w/o electricity for weeks.  Makes you wish for that sweet cool mountain air.  I guess that comes with the negative of forest fires and smoke.  But for now, we have been granted a reprieve and the A/C is working fine.  So, that is a positive.  I remember waking up to damp sheets in the morning when we had no A/C, but window fans blew in the cool morning humidity.  Those were good days.  

Hope your ankle keeps doing better and better.  There are so many "down" days, we do have positivity sometimes.  

Well, of course we are worried about Gwen.  She was on here nearly every day.  Worried about the condition she was in and the help she was given, and the help giver.  I hope someone that might have a direct line to her might check on her also.

Kay, I hope you only have a sprain, but it needs taken care of and it seems as close as the fire is, perhaps your church will know of places you could get away from the fire.  That is very close.  You help so many people, I know one has to be there to help you.  Looking for updates.  My heart and hopes are with you.  

Karen, hope you are fairing better from your dental work.  Please let us know.  

I go to bed each night.  Only one night sleep was interrupted.  It was only yesterday I went to bed making plans for the future.  The future is what I'm living in.  I know a lot of us go to bed knowing we have outlived so many people we loved.  I'm not finished yet, cannot leave my granddaughter until she can get a life.  The counselors all say "don't push."  I don't push.  

If Heaven was like I wanted it, then all the Arkansas mountains would be there for us to hike again and the next day other places, again.  We have that quiet fear of hearing the footsteps behind us.  

“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”
― Mark Twain

I'm writing another "word salad" in book form this time.  I have a few questions, some things I just woke up and tried to figure out myself.  Thankful I can still do this.  How long it will last, I don't know.

Karen, I listened to the news talking about the high temperatures in Phoenix for probably a record number of days.  My sister woke me up yesterday to let me know she was in a hospital room at our local hospital, and bless her heart, she gave me plenty of time to sleep.  It is prudent that she call the ambulance when she cannot breathe.  They are there immediately (less than a mile from her apartment) with the type of oxygen she needs and this is the third time in as many months that she has had to call them.  Our air is like a clear thick soup.  I think if Phoenix had some of this humidity, it might cool off some.  I gave up my meteorologist leanings many years ago. When she goes into the ER they treat her with steroids, somehow in aerosol form, I guess.  This time she has a bacterial infection too.  My daughter is off to Arkansas (as far away from our help as she can get).  She has a teratoma on her brain stem, has had it before and the Cleveland Clinic did a gamma knife removal.  This time she will have something like three months of radiation.  Will stay at a friend's house in between treatments.  Of course, I am worried, especially since she could get the same treatment where we could go take her each day and she could sleep in her bed each night.  She pulls away from family because her mental condition has made her disconnected from her daughter, who lives with me.  She has to  have counselors for the things that have been said to her, bio child of a drug mother.  Unrelenting mental abuse from mother.  I try to stay out of the nuclear fallout and the granddaughter deletes each message w/o answering.  Somehow that makes it worse because a useless fuss is wanted.  Granddaughter is afraid to leave the apartment, won't leave.  

Now, to myself.  Of course my main happiness is gone, will be eight years in October.  Tomorrow is his birthday, and he loved getting presents.  I lost more than just him when he left, I lost my natural sympathetic, empathetic feeling.  I will talk to my friends and relatives on the phone, but I do not want to visit in person.  I have great grandchildren I've never seen. My first was born about 20 years ago.  I've never met her, but when I had "feelings" I remember crying when I saw her picture.  I remember typing this many years ago and it must describe me, the way I am now.  This is not how people who used to know me would imagine me now, but I just seem to have a "flat affect" and remember my grandmother walking around at each family gathering like a zombie, and I fear that is who I am now.  I want to be there for all these people, and I will, but they have to see part of me is still missing.  I grieve for Billy, but after this length of time, it seems like it was someone else.  I am not suicidal.  Like Robert Frost said:  "But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep,"

He will always be only 75, in the real world.