walter/Erica

Dear Susanne and Sarah, my heart just reaches out to you both when I read about your past losses, your impending losses and the emotional trauma you are both currently experiencing. Your grief, if thats not bad enough, just in its pure form has been complicated , and is therefore much more painful., What can I say except that I earnestly pray that God will supernaturally intervene and help you both to cope, that He will strenghten you and comfort you both I too lots my husband in March this year I have become aware that grief truly is an active process that we need to be involved in, and that somehow will steer us forward... One day you too will be feeling better

Hi Loren I am so sorry to hear about your loss and the way you are currently feeling. I know those feelings well and my heart reaches out to you. Things that have helped me( lost my darling husband at age 47, 6 months ago) Just feeling the feelings( pain/grief), going with the flow, letting it out and doing feel good things for you,nurturing youreslf , as you are the best judge of your needs right now.Also my faith in God in spite of feling abandoned and even punished. my prayer is that God will help you in the same way He has helped me ( even more). Just call out of the depths of your pain to Him. Also participating in these discusssions on thsi site, where you find fellow human beings who can truly empathize. I thank God for them

Hi Suzanne I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I too have lost my soulmate, 6 months ago. I would never have journeyed without God.My prayer is that God will do exactly and even more for you than He has done for me so far. I will pray for you. I am quite preoccupied with heaven, so I find your comment interesting on the fact that your dreams of eternity are broken as Will's first wife died recently. Marty and all my dear, dear friends, could you coment on this please?. What do you think its going to be like when Suzanne meets up with Will in Heaven one day? Am looking forward to responses. Take Care Susanne

Dear Teny I know how you feel...feel similarly alot of the time. How long since your darling husband passed on and how long were you married for? We took a great risk by loving our husbands so much, but we also lost much when they passed on, but then again we experienced so much happiness with them. My therapist told me only on Monday, its because we had such blessed marriages that we are grieving so intensely. Its a wonderful tribute to them , even if they are now completely oblivious of what we are going thru. She actually mentioned that there are clients she counsels, who have lost their husbands but FEEL so guilty that they are not feelind any sadness or grief at thier losses, becuase of the rotten marriages they had, She says they have done the grievinng in their marriages. Thank God for the brief time we had with our special men God comfort you and flood you with His presence right now. amen

Dear Shell Thank you for your kind words. How do I face my grief ? How do I do my actual grief work and what is that? Please give me some pointers. I am probably doing alot of it already, but it would ber great to know if I am on the right track Love, Erica

Hi Lori A little correction, Its my darling Husband , Walter I am mourning, my son is still alive, but his birthday triggered off missing my late husband who died just under 6 months ago Love, Erica

It is my sons 25th birthdya today. I am feeling incredibly, sad, depressed. I have this deep ache and gap in my herat. When I feel like this all I want to do is be left alone and find something that will detract from this feeling. I Pray that God will pull me and the children thru today. A fiend of mine mentioned that we should try not to get stuck on the past, but look forward to a future with them ( our loved ones who have passed on). I pray that this future will be soon. i really cannot bear this sustained continuous pain that i am in for most of the time. I pray that God will be merciful to me and draw me and the children preciously close to Him now

Thank you so much to all who have responded to me on the topic procrastination. Today I could not get up for work. I finally arrived at work at 09:30 instead og 07:15 as I always do each day. I thought about the future, how am I ever going to get thru the years ahead without Walter, is this what the quality of my life is going to be? and I feel so sad and helpless, hopeless. I listened to the sermon in Church yesterday and we were all challenged as to what we are doing in service for God, well heres my ptroblem. I used to be actively involved in ministrty before my husband died. well now I am doing absolutely nothing and not sure is this is right / wrong . More importantly, Am I impeding my recovery by not being involved or should I wait on God to lead me.I just feel so useless Looking forwrad to hearing from you all

Hi Derek Thank you for your response. Gee, so thats another 2-3 months before I feel improvement in this area. Look at me now, using this time at work to speak with you. At the moment I feel that if I could do this all day, i would. It actually was a bit better today. I prayed and asked the Lord to help me be more effective and productive today at work and He has. Plesae pray this prayer for me How is your friendship going? and how is your son doing? Have a blessed weekend Erica

Hello All, I trust you are well. its weekend again, how the time flies and yet stands still I had a week at work in which I wsa more distracted than usual. I just cannot focus, complete tasks, I procrastinte and I feel so guilty at the end of the working day. Its not fair on my employer. The same happens at home, but thats okay, but I worry about feling like this. Its nearly 6 months since Walter passed on. When will I be energised at work, and how can I help myself It doesnt help that my role in teh organisation is Employee Care. I care for employees health and wellness, lots of counselling Please advise

Hi Doublejo Maybe its a bit early in my journey, but for now I cannot imagine me loving someone else. Doublejo at 6 months after losing your first husband, did you feel the way I do now? Love, Erica

Derek Please remind me how long ago since you lost Karen? My loss is around 5 months and from day 1 this has been and is my view( May sound strange to you)Walter was my only love for 30 years ( I am now 48 yrs old) and I feel that when I get to Heaven I want to focus on Walter, even without the prospect of marriage. I dont want to be in a place where I know that I have been with him for 30 years and someone else for 20Years. I want him to be my best friend/tour guide in heaven, to catch up with him and to explore places together. I probably will get lonely,while here on earth, But I feel I can combat that loneliness with grandchildren, travel, activities and work. Did you also feel like this in the beginning and now have changed? Do you feel differently about your new girlfriend as you felt abouit your wife? Love, Erica

Derek, you sound such a wonderful Christian. Its so encouraging to hear you say that God has helped you thus far, you seemed to have made progress on this journey and this gives me great hope. In which month did you feel a breakthrough in your grief, by that I mean better....I am in my 6th month and I feel jsut the same as when I first lost him. No break /respite from one day to the next God Bless Erica

Hello, I lost my husband 5 months ago i have had the experience where i wake up in the middle of the night and it feels like my husband is in bed with me what is that ? is it normal? have any of you feel this I know that he is in heaven, so I am trying to make sense of this..maybe its my imagination. it would be nice if he really was present at times with me in bed

Gail Your circumsatnces and feelings are very similar to mine. I am also in my 7th month since I lost Walter, my darling husband. ( married x 25yrs) I have two children a son and daughter ages 25 and 19. I too feel that this is a bd dream and I will wake up soon, Miss him like crazy and am so scared of a future without him. We dreamt about retirement and graduation( one to go) and grandkids and weddings.... Now I have to do this all alone. I also have often felt that I would join him in heaven if I could. I really am just clinging to my God to literally pull me through this traumatic experience.

Hello dear friends, i felt so good this morning, there was definitely a slight spring in my step, but I feel the spring waering off a bit now. I find myself so reluctant to acknowledge positive feelings, or to admit on certain days that I am feeling better, for fear of losing that feeling. Is this normal? The weekend looms ahead, and I have learned to plan activities. Fridays are very bad, cause Walter and I used to meet every single Friday evening for supper straight after work, so I find myself wandering around in Shhopping malls till around 8pm each Friday I pray that God will be with each of us in a really special and unique way this weekend' much love, Erica

Derek,Marty,Kay and all who have responded so promptly since I joined , Thank You and God bless and continue to use you to be instruments of healing.Its so encouraging to hear from others that I will feel differently, even be happy in the future. Right now, my main fear is always feeling like this and its great to know I WONT! I found great comfort in verses found in Isaiah, where God says that He will answer our prayers even before they leave our lips. I claimed that verse for myself in the car on the way home, cause it feels like I have been praying the same prayer for a long time (for comfort) and God has not fully answered yet. Also that He will put an end to my mourning. The last verse which confused me a bit Was that we need to stop rememnbering events of the past and see the new thing that God is preparing for us. I claim those promises for my very own

Hello all and thank you for helping me thus far. today I feel numb, is that normal.....?Not feeling the intense pain of a few days ago,instead a painless, dull, everpresent void. i feel like i am a shell housing nothing if that makes sense. I laugh, work, move and smile but I feel that my smile does not reach my eyes or my heart / soul.i just feel so anchorless, God, my main anchor feels so far away, and Walter my other anchor has passed on. My prayer si that God will jsut help me get through each and every day. I feel at times like curling up and just not going anywhere or doing anything I pray that God will just lead me gently on this journey

To all who have responded to my first e-mail, thank you so much and God bless. As a Christian, I believe in Haeven, but I somehow find myself thinking, It s too good to be true to believe that Walter is there now, ( no suffering, pain or tears)especiall;y when I think of how he physically suffered in the last 4 months of his life, I almost cannot conceptualize heaven, especially when I look at the urn that contains his ashes. My constant prayer is that God iwll give me absolute assurance that Wwalter is in Heaven i also battle with the fact that when we finally are united in Heaven, I wont be special and unique to him, maybe all memories of me as his wife will be forgotten by him, and me ..... I am pained to think that in Heaven we may have no recollection of our union here on earth the last and amybe most painful concern is that Walter has absolutely no idea of how I am missing him and mourning for him now...does the Bible not say there will be no sadness in Heaven...I am so perplexed... I am sad to think taht he may have no recollection of me at all.

Hi I am Erica. I lost Walter my husband 5 months ago at age 47 due to cancer. We were married for 25 years.The last 5-10 yrs were the best of my life. We were so in love and had such a challenging , stimulating life. We both love (d)God and were involved in ministry. When he got ill. we walked in faith believing that God would heal and spare my darling.But now I am plagued by the missing , longing ,loneliness. I am preoccupied with Heaven...what Walter is doing right now etc I still love God but my faith has beeen rocked, battered and brusied. I feel broken and wish that I could Feel God closer. I feel so abandoned and discarded. However I trust Him to pull me through. God Bless you all. I cannot wait to feel better and differently. It feels like iwill always feel like this