STARKISS

hi all, i just want out of here now.... i can not stand it anymore....shelley

Thanks to everyone who replied to this, I WISH I COULD TAKE HIS PLACE AND BE WITH MY MOM... I HATE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW... I HAD TO GIVE UP THERAPY BECAUSE IT COSTS TOO MUCH AND THE PLACES OUT THERE THAT ARE CHEAPER ONLY DO IT ON A THREE MONTH TIME PERIOD...SHELLEY

Thanks Niamh, I appreciate that I saw his updated picture on facebook and it made me cry so much to see how awful he looks now and it is so sad to see it... Shelley

Hi Marty, Yes I do realize this but it still bothers me that it had to happen, Dogs are so innocent it should be the people who are punished for the crimes of the dog... This dog I am talking about was not care for very well... Shelley

Hi KayC, Thanks for trying to cheer me up but i feel so very guilty right now... shelley

Hi All, I am guilty as charged for getting a dog put to sleep, This dog is a neighbor of mine and I used to dog sit for him... While I was dog sitting one time the dog bite me and I hated that dog for along time... I did forgive the dog and actually dog sat again for him but again the dog bite me this time he did it twice... After that happened the owners went right to the vet and asked for him to be put down... I blame myself so much for his death because maybe it was something that I did to cause him to bite me... Feeling really guilty right now Shelley

Hi All, I have a cousin who lives in Nova Scotia who is dying of ALS and it wife tells me that it will not be much longer... I would love to visit him but can not afford too... They tell me he will not live much farther than the end of this summer... I really feel awful for his family and wish I could be there to support them in anyway... He has a thirteen year old daughter and two sons that are in university... just pray for the family please and maybe a miracle will happen... shelley

Hi All, just wanted to say tonight that i am having a very rough time of it... I am feeling like I am losing my mind due to stress... There were four people that quit at work this week and another person got fired so work is very stressful... The bank is not cooperating with me in any way and that is stressing me out... And being home alone is another stresser for me... So I am feeling so very stressed right now and sick too... Shelley

Hi All, Well it has been a month since I left my last therapist and I have been seeing two other therapists... I have now decided to stop seeing one therapist and I am staying with the one who I feel more comfortable with... So now the real work starts and I am now starting to have more panic attacks... How sad... Shelley

Hi All, Here I am trying to sleep and having a very rough time doing it today, It is my mom's 7th year anniversary of her death today and I am missing her so very much right now... I have cried so very much today... shelley

Hi All, Yes I saw the new therapist and it went okay, I am seeing another one tomorrow because I want to make sure this time I have one who will be with me a while during my journey... Thanks for all your replies... shelley

Hi All, Just wanted you all to know that I am still alive and doing okay, I have decided to go see another therapist... A matter of fact I see her in a couple of hours and boy am I ever nervous... I can not believe I will be seeing my fourth therapist since everything has started with me on this journey... Wish me luck and pray for me... Shelley

Hi All, Just wanted everyone to know that I called the new therapist tonight and talked to a lady receptionist and she told me that it is a 6 to 8 week waiting list but that she copied my information down and that the list was going fast and it might not take the full 6 to 8 weeks... Thanks to everyone for all the encouragement... Shelley

Hi Mary, Thanks for caring but I just can not face that fear about opening up again and having them stopping the therapy again.. I have had lots of trust issues and with all the abuse and self esteem issues I have I just can not face anyone new right now... But I am still very depressed... Shelley

Hi All, Right now I am having a very hard time and have no one to talk to, I have not switched over with therapists and my old one wants me to so she is not seeing me as often trying to get me to do the switch... I am so nervous and I just wish I could just reach out but I think it is just the thought of losing another therapist... I am scared to open up all over again and start to trust someone else to find another therapist to stop and make me start over and over again... I can not do it anymore... I feel so stressed about it... I want to do it but have so many fears in me... I would love to be able to trust but what if i do and the same thing happens again... Shelley

Hi All, I am so scared to phone another therapist, my therapist I have now is willing to keep seeing me twice a month but still wants me to connect to the new therapist... She wants me to have more people on my mental health team but I am still very nervous...shelley

Hi All, I did not get the hearing aids on Friday, It was because I did not have postdated checks so now I have to wait till Tuesday... The audiologist did the fitting and told me how to do things with them so that I knew all about them so when I did get them I would know what to do... It was weird but after wearing them a short time I seemed to get used to them ... It was extremely hard to put them on but taking them off was easier.. Shelley

Hi Mary, It is all about my dad who used to abuse me and the flashbacks and night mares are about him too... Shelley

Hi Mary, Thanks for understanding and no i have not got them yet I get them this Friday... I am so freaked out about them... Shelley

Hi All, I know people this is weird by posting this about hearing aids but I also needed to post it because I am having flashbacks about my dad and nightmares also... shelley

Hi Marty and Mary, Thanks for your replies, I have gone ahead as I do trust my audiologist and if she thinks hearing aids would help me than so be it... She is with Hearing Solutions and they have a promotion on right now and it is you buy one and you get one for half price so I think it is going to cost me around 3100 dollars and i am doing it in 12 months payments and it worked out to be 256 dollars a month for one year... Thanks for caring shelley

Hi All, I am just so depressed right now I just found out that i have to get hearing aids... I have hearing loss bad enough to get them... My dad had to have them and just the thought of myself getting them i am so upset... Getting them has memories for me that I do not want to remember especially when they deal with my dad...SO sad right now... Shelley

Thanks Marty, It is only the first step and i know that when we start telling our stories i will be the biggest baby of them all... Shelley

Hi All, Well i went to a sexual abuse support group for the first time, it has been very bad for me and i wanted to find help but had no willingness to get it... I was on a website called meet ups and found this support group on there... I did go after telling them twice i did not want to go... I found some courage somewhere inside of me... After talking with the orgainizer of the group i found out she was going to the same place my therapist wants me to go and she told me all about it... It has help me decide to finally call these people and seek another therapist... Shelley

Hi All, I know that today should be a happy one but knowing my mom is not there to help me celebrate makes it a little sadder... I know she would not want me to be sad but i am ... I will try hard to just be sad a little and know that she is up in heaven looking down at me... This has been my seventh birthday with out my mom... Happy birthday also to all the others who are celebrating their day with me... I am honoured to have lots of people on the same day.. Shelley